Let me hear your lies

Weigh down my cries for the sake

Of calming the storm

I'm a ratty haired mess

I'm floundering in ice skates

I long for your arms

When they asked me if I loved you
I could feel a hole forming in my chest
My heart was digging to the bottom of my ribcage
So they it wouldn't spill all of its secrets
I imagine the word "yes" flowing from my body
Like water pouring from my lips
When they asked me if I loved you
My jaw crumbled like wet sand
My tongue and breath did not remember
How to work together in order to form words
I did not know how to lie to them
It's like I can feel my teeth begin to decay
When you acidic name slips through them
When they asked me if I loved you
I hope they would try to tuck the question back into their pocket
Maybe if I stayed quiet long enough they would
The uncomfortable silence was beginning to be noticeable
I never meant for this to sound so much like shot gun
When they asked me if I loved you
I could feel the pressure against the walls
The flood was far to overbearing
I will love you until I don't anymore
When they asked me if I loved you
I told them that I didn't
Simply because I find it useless to soak
A bath of room temperature love
When you mix hot with cold
The climate is never pleasing
I have learned
That when someone asks me if I love you
To always say no
Just to resist the risk of the words traveling to your ears
I cannot bear for you to know that I still love you
Even though you have left
You have filled something in me that is still full
Even though you are not here anymore
When they asked me if I loved you
I responded calmly
Acted as if it was a punchline I saw coming
Acted as if it wasn’t breaking my spirit in two
Acted as if I was fine with answering
"No."

you never stayed with me until morning,

always leaving before you could leave a trace,

always leaving before my heart could become your place.

i finally started carrying a knife in my pocket so i could cut

ties with everyone who left me like you did.

you left me feeling like an unraveling thread,

coming a little more undone with every broken promise

that resounded with the words, "i'll stay."

my seams ripping with every, "i never loved you."

how many other girl have you said that to?

i'm tired of being the equivalent of a warning label on your

carton of cigarettes, never caring who you burn.

knowing that they're already killing you,

just as fast as you're killing me.

the worst thing about you is that you made it look easy,

and i personally should know that

loving you was never, and never will be **easy.

My words sting like the subject of divorced marriage and daddy issues
And yet you want to hear what I have to say
So lay it all on the table
Tell me you're giving up
But you won't find me plastered on a sidewalk like waddled up, gravel stuck, unwanted gum waiting for love
You've got me ****** up
I never thought
This early
I would be finding myself head over heels in love
Tell me I'm dreaming
Please tell me
Save me the pity of when I do find out
Because now.... he is slipping through every broken finger I can't use to get a tight grip
Reality is setting in
Love is either hard work
Or hard time
You just have to decide
How hard are you fighting?
And do you have time?

i'm walking through the woods
without shoes
feeling the earth beneath me
hoping i'll step on a piece
of you
of the love you said you would have for me
forever and ever
until our bones became dirt

(cjw)