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454 · Aug 2013
we're contagious
maybella snow Aug 2013
just the fact that i made
     you
smile today
            made me smile
  which made you smile
more
  and more
                           until we were both
                     grinning from ear                                    to ear
       because
i made you smile
maybella snow Jun 2013
the sun            
a burning ball of gas
heating the universe                        
     warming earthlings
sun rays bringing light and warmth
like they always have
when                                                                                  
                                  did the ******* thing
               decide to be choosy                
                                  with who it properly warms?
             or brings light onto?                          

because lately                                                                  
i haven't felt warm
it hasn't been giving me light    

                            when did this happen?
       why is the sun picky?                    
is it something i've done?                                                          
                                               is it possible to offend the sun?
or is it simply protesting against me?
maybella snow Jul 2013
becoming lost in a patchwork of words
               running between the tilting letters
          ink splashes
                       paper tears
pace quickens as i run
                  a nightmare created of something i loved
       my love screams at me
                                      where did i go wrong?
they're screaming
        but clutching their ears
                       maybe they're just in pain
   did i cause their pain?
                                 no i can't have
                                      i didn't do anything
                              did i?
countless doubts
      numberless words
                          screeched like fingernails on chalk boards
             scratching down my backbone
  ripping through my head
                      shivering or shuddering?
               it's all pain now
       but is it my pain or yours?
                           there's no border anymore
its combined
               my knuckles split
                                        in contact with the wall
    no winner
             but pain is gained
i haven't written in a while, so i forced myself to write something.
453 · Jun 2013
inexperienced pain
maybella snow Jun 2013
like an exited puppy
you jump excitedly around
           with not a care for the world
other than finding it all
              you're inexperienced  
   and don't realize it hurts
           when you bite me
453 · Jul 2013
self torture
maybella snow Jul 2013
i watched your internet videos
    i cried
  at the sound of your voice
         tears tumbled out
         i need you to hold me
                  love, please hold me tightly
  i think we both need it
maybella snow Jul 2013
ink flowing over pages              
a slightly messy      
cursive                              
imprinting into the depths  
of my heart            
carved into the layers  
of my skin                  
etched into the softness        
of my soul    
engraved into the needs            
of my mind

i live poetry      
heart      
skin                          
soul                                  
mind            

*~a beautiful nothing, my something~
452 · May 2013
effects after 7 minutes
maybella snow May 2013
9:57pm
its not too late yet
i'll stay and wait
just a little longer for you

9:58pm
minutes slow down
like gravity in space
i wait for your reply

9:59pm
okay deep breathing
it cant be too long now
a couple more minutes

10:00pm
only three minutes have passed
don't send another useless message
it cant be too long now

10:01pm
maybe there'll be no reply
"what ifs" float by
just wait, don't do something stupid

10:02pm
okay, sending that useless message now
maybe you'll notice it and reply
no such luck

10:03pm
desperation over nothing
its only been seven minutes silly
yet waiting is painful now

see how you effect me?
see how i need you?
look at what 7 minutes does to me
i become desperate and freak out
i'm sorry if i'm needy, i don't try
it just happens
452 · Aug 2013
an attack of panic
maybella snow Aug 2013
in panic attacks
  my brain sings
la la la la
                i'll be okay
  la la la la la
remember to breathe
       la la la la
what's breathing?
  la la la la
          who're you?
do do do
   what'd you want?
  do de do la
help help help
            lalalala
it'll be fine
lalaladodododa
                           help
maybella snow Jun 2013
i gave you a gift                                                    
of love and affection                                                                  
of consideration and caring                                            
                                                            my heart
                                                                        its nothing special to anyone
                                                                                          had its fair share of beatings
                                                  maybe a little more
but i gave it to you                            
it's in your care                                                
if you nourish or neglect is your
choice and responsibility                          
thankyou
maybella snow Aug 2013
\/                       \/  
/      \                   /      \  
|/             \             /            \|  
/|                  \ _ /                 |\  
|                    /  \                 |  
\|                                            |/  
|\                                        /|  
\                              /  
\                   /  
\          /  
\ /  
/\  

maybe this symbol means
nothing to you now
but it meant enough
for you to carve it
into your skin
with my initials
without my knowing
449 · Aug 2013
creating destruction
maybella snow Aug 2013
i love standing in the wind                        
letting the velocity of the storm                                
make me feel weak in a different way                                          
weak as in                                                                
not mentally
or physically
just that i know                              
it's bigger than me                              
and yet                
nor the rain
thunder
lightning
wind
make me feel scared                                                  
i like to enjoy the power                                            
it's not mine                                            
but i'm in the presence                                              
of a great power                                                          
that can create destruction
destroy lives                        
ruin everything                  
one day                                                                                              
i just want to                                                                                              
lay in a field                                                                                              
back down in                                                                                              
the grass                                                                                              
with rain pounding                                                                                              
down, lighting                                                                                              
breaking the sky                                                                                              
thunder blasting                                                                                              
wind howling                                                                                              
and simply                                                                          
feel like nothing                                                                  
to the wold,                                                                          
because i'm                                                                          
tiny                                                                                        
compared to it                                                                    
                                                                  
i want to die
in the presence
of a power
bigger than
anyone
can handle

—a storm—
nothing to do with religion in my opinion, i didn't write it about that. but if that's the way you intemperate it, okay
448 · Aug 2013
yeah don't
maybella snow Aug 2013
sitting uncomfortably in my skin
you tell me i'm not alone in how
i seem to be feeling, with every-
thing  thats going on. i don't   kn-
ow  about  that,  i  feel  alone, so
alone that all i want is him,  back
you tell me never to talk  to  him
because he hurt me,  but he  ma-
de me feel  so  special and loved
no  one  else  has  made  me  feel
that  way,  yet  you  tell  me you'
ll  forever  hate  me  if  i  start  a
conversation  with  him,     only
because  he  hurt  me,  but what
if  he  wants  me  back?  he loves
me,    he  never  stopped  loving
me,    why  wouldn't  i  want  to
talk  to  the  love  of  my life? it's
in  my  nature,  soul, heart, body
to  be  with  someone  who  just
so   happens   to   love  me   with
their everything, as i love   them,
with my  everything  its just  not
fair,    that    you're   allowed   to
complain  about  how  that   guy
you  like  has  ruined  your   life,
because    of   whatever   he  did,
yet i'm  not  allowed to cry once,
or  talk  to my  love   because  of
your views on our   relationship,
how  is  that  fair?  you're  upset-
ing me so much, i bet you didn't
know    that    though    did   you?
447 · Aug 2013
how would the tree feel?
maybella snow Aug 2013
desperate hands clasping branches
            forcing the limbs to shake
            just as much as hands
                    the of the climber
    leaves and new buds are torn off
                     tears
                    blood
                    sweat
           is smeared on the tree
                                             a rope
is tied around the strongest bough
    the rope is coarse and chafes
                       skin and bark
a dead weight pulls
the branch bends with added weight
the coarse rope holds dead life
the snap is bone and branch
blood and tree sap spills
                   yet only one natural thing lived
                   how does the tree feel about this?
depressive maybe eh
maybella snow Jul 2013
10 words


sigh
its hard when after twelve years of liking someone, you've finally moved on and are actually happy, then they see you, they look at you and actually see you. but HEY it's too late now buddy, moved on.
446 · Oct 2013
lost lifelines
maybella snow Oct 2013
lay beside me in the illumination
                            of our alarm clock
set to go off in 4 hours
       no sleep was obtained
                but we feel rested
       lay your hand on my stomach
       and breathe in our scent
i want to feel
                                your soft breath
                                  on my neck
                                      as you sigh
         when realization
                kicks in that we
      cant stay this way forever;
                  my head on your chest
thoughts reduced to
         the slow thud of your heart
                                                 we're alive
                                           perfectly alive
                                                            and together
                                           perfectly    living
ignore this
maybella snow May 2014
i wish to find out
all the valentines days
in every country
and tell you
with extra meaning
how much you mean
to me
on a different scale
of some small romance
i want all valentines days
to be for you
past and future
sorry its been so long my medication affected my writing an shif anyway yeah ·♡·
445 · Oct 2013
big words little meaning
maybella snow Oct 2013
a          winsome            instant
of  phenomenal   preeminence
momentarily  you've  vanished
my panorama
444 · Jun 2013
a single window
maybella snow Jun 2013
i want change
              i look out my window
                                  same old rusty fence
            wire interlocked
it was probably cool
                                          once upon a time
   daffodils have flowered
                                    but they are half dying
                           the bright yellow petals have began to wilt
   the lawn is mowed
                  or was, its grown a little since
      but weeds have defiantly began
                                        their sneaky rebellion
our cat settles itself
             onto a rock, to warm itself
                                       as it grooms and cleans

          i have a single window in my room
                           that is the view
            its not much

                             is it a crime to want change?
maybella snow Sep 2013
15 words


*your scars are healing, mine are newly done
i make too many mistakes
to be considered okay
443 · Jul 2013
RAWR
maybella snow Jul 2013
i have this overwhelming need              
it's hurting and ugh i just
                                i just need to hold your hand
i need to feel you skin                          
               i need your warmth
it's an ache and i know
                                       it wont go away
until i feel your warmth                                                
and thats not going to happen                        
because you live to ******* far away   (excuse the language)
i just need you                    
the ache has settled like sand          
to the sturdy bones of my back
and i can't shake it off                                  

                                                                                            i need you
i just RAWR                            
it's overwhelming me
443 · Jul 2013
i don't sleep well anymore
maybella snow Jul 2013
nadie está totalmente sin tristeza*


not a bold statement
a true one instead
443 · Jul 2013
12:01 am rain
maybella snow Jul 2013
it's raining
on the window
from the skys

it's raining
on my pillow
from my eyes
440 · Aug 2013
fragments written on my arm
maybella snow Aug 2013
a life was lost to love
                     why love when hearts are so fragile?
       i covered my arm with the ink of my pen
       rather than the usual blood with a blade
                              love is lost in the world, i'm just a grain of sand
where'd all the
beauty of the
world go?
i think it
died when
you did
                                  dreams and reality are all nightmares in the end
440 · Jun 2013
i'm slightly less shrewd
maybella snow Jun 2013
i don't understand
      how you make me feel bad
                    when i didn't do anything
           but i feel guilty anyway
               because i made you feel
    slightly less happy
slightly less loved
   slightly less needed

        and i don't want that
maybella snow Oct 2013
i want to love you
but i cant
i'm scared
and you don't
understand
maybella snow Jul 2013
sleep butterflies are teasing me
                  they land on my eyelids
only for a few minutes                
just to take off                          
                                 and leave me drowsy enough
         to not be able to wake fully
they dance over my eyes          
                       i receve flighty sleep
awake
439 · Nov 2013
he did
maybella snow Nov 2013
how can i trust you
         not to **** yourself too

how can i get close to anyone
when i refuse to hurt anyone
when i **** myself
                      it'll happen eventually
         maybe it'll work this time
438 · Jul 2013
wishful being
maybella snow Jul 2013
i wish i was there
when you're haveing a nightmare
so i could hold you
until you woke up, and knew it wasn't real

i wish i was there
when you're about to cut your skin
so i could still your hand,
look you in the eye, until you realised you don't need to

i wish i was there
when your parents are screaming at you
so i could stand behind you
support you, and make sure you know you're loved

i wish i was there
when tears are streaming down your cheeks in despair
so i could gently wipe them away
tell you i love you and everything's going to be okay

i wish you were here
when i need you to
hold me during a nightmare
still my shaking hands
stand behind me
wipe my tears away
and love me
437 · Aug 2013
the world is heavy
maybella snow Aug 2013
where are you?
                you were always there to help
      you lifted it when i was weak
     i lifted it when you were weak
now you're gone
             and i need your help
  the world is too heavy
                    to lift off of me this time
      and you're not here to help
            i'm wondering how you're coping
  with me not there to help you
       probably better than me
                     this time, it's too heavy
   i can't lift it off now
maybella snow Sep 2013
the trees beckon                            
"hang yourself here
this branch is strong"

cliffs and ledges entice                
"just jump already
its far enough down"

sign posts point directions          
"straight into the rock
off the road"

large water calls out                    
"breathe out, jump in
then breathe in deeply"


i'm scared
everything
is wanting
me to die
everything
is calling
out to me
i can't not
hear it, its
screaming
437 · Sep 2013
angels exist
maybella snow Sep 2013
but people
only ever see
the fallen
angels
10 words including title
437 · Jul 2013
involuntary
maybella snow Jul 2013
i find myself
     sitting curled in a fetal position
rocking slightly back
                                 and forth
      with my head
in my hands
           palms pressed into my eyes
                       squashing tears back
                         keeping thoughts in
it's involuntary
i can't help it
436 · Jul 2013
disenfranchisement
maybella snow Jul 2013
a fancy way
of saying;
without power
deprived of something
and i just noticed, 10 words
436 · Oct 2013
what am i doing with life?
maybella snow Oct 2013
sustaining myself
just           enough
to  last  two  years
until  i  move  out
and   escape   this
place   of  insanity
435 · Jul 2013
learning how to sleep
maybella snow Jul 2013
woke up early
     went to bed late
                i know
    i wont sleep tonight

            i knew that
when i woke up early

           i know now
i'm never going to sleep

~ not without you
435 · Aug 2013
i can't help being fragile
maybella snow Aug 2013
please be nice                                            
i know i cry too easily          
i know i crack at silly things
but everything hurts  
and nothing takes the pain away                      
it crushes me down  
it weighs so much  
its a constant torment        
and it never eases off
it just gains momentum                              
and i fall      
faster
and faster
and faster
down  and                              
d                    
o              
w        
n  
please catch me                                        
and be gentle                            
sorry for asking for this                                                
i'm not usually this fragile                                                
but the pressure
caused by this
ordeal (death)                
is forcing        
my glass cage            
to crack                    
and crumble      
please                                                      
be nice?                                            
i'm hurting                                                                            
please be nice
and hold me        
keep me together
please
keep all the pieces
that crack and fall
away                                                                                              
don't loose the                              
puzzle pieces that                        
create my whole                          
because i'm not usually
this        b R ok E    N                                                  
i ask a favor  
be my glue?  
hold me safe?
..please?..
434 · Jul 2013
summing up my day
maybella snow Jul 2013
~ ice cream cones
                  stripy tights
   tinted sunglasses

          desperate pain
  aching heart
           thinly spread love

i need you x ~
433 · Oct 2013
bokren alcnpsaipe
maybella snow Oct 2013
its just dull
a blown light        
a ripped net          
a cracked glass      
a snapped rope    
i'm useless
and broken
dont ask me
for anything
i gave my all
to save you      
and it didnt work
i'm tired
but dont try
and save me
i'm not worth
effort      
why use        
a blown light        
a ripped net          
a cracked glass      
a snapped rope    
when you could
have so much
better
tittle: broken appliances
idk if anyone would be able to read it so yup
433 · Jul 2013
101 real people :D
maybella snow Jul 2013
101 people follow me
101 people see every poem i write
101 real people
101 people
                                                                 thats a    h u g e   amount to me
1795 reactions
1795 comments
1795 or likes

22216 views
22216 thats how many times my poetry has been looked at
22216

                                                                   sorry but that still shocks me
                                                             real people are seeing my rambles
                                                                  real people are following me
                                                           real people are reacting to my work
                                                                                real people

take that mum, real people
                            real people think my "****" is good
                mum, leave me alone about it

because some real people think it's worth something
because they're reading it
       and they're liking or commenting to it

                                                                                                     and this is what i want to do in life
                                                                          i want to write
                                                                                          about things that pose something to me
                                         [HAH]
                                         you said i wasn't going
                        anywhere while on my computer
                                         [HAH]
                                                                                                          it only took me
                                                                                                          101 real people
                                                                                                                thankyou
                                                                                                              to all of you
maybella snow Aug 2013
5 words



sorry poetry isn't a result of this
maybella snow Apr 2014
i always wonder

why me?
why was i born
lacking in the whole
loving myself area

why me?
why did i get hurt
time after time
why am i the weakest link

why me?
why do i need medications
and supplements
to get through each day

why me?
why do i love you
why do i feel the need to live for you
when no one else made me feel this
desperate for hope, and life
sigh
430 · Jun 2013
heart? house?
maybella snow Jun 2013
a two story
peaceful, colorful house
windows cleaned
porch swept
roof well kept
gutters empty

. . . . . . . . . .

a crumbling
silent, dull house
windows smashed
porch snapped
roof collapsing
gutters filled with leaves
maybella snow Aug 2013
the moon                      
personally
i like it more    
in the middle of the day                                  
where it seems to protest                                    
rebel against being the usual                                  
only light at night
no, instead                                                  
it becomes a pale disc                                            
calm in the blue sky                  
basking in sunlight                    
and viewing the world
in a brighter light
than it can create personally                                          

*a beautiful nothing,
my something
427 · Aug 2013
brick walls cope well
maybella snow Aug 2013
everyone
                                                                ­    has
       different
ways
                            of coping
                 mine
                                                     seems to be
   a type
                     or
                                        form
         of
                             shutting
                  d
                                    ­                                   o
      w
                                           n
                                                               ­                                                                i create brick walls
                                                           ­                                                                 ­   to hide myself
                                                          ­                                                                 ­    when i'm scared
                                                          ­                                                                 ­    or too vulnerable
                                                      ­                                                                 ­        to handle what's going on
                                                              ­                                                                 and i hide myself
                                                          ­                                                                 ­    under a veil
                                                            ­                                                                 ­  of a strong person
                                                          ­                                                                 ­    when really
                                                          ­                                                                 ­    i'm still crying
                                                          ­                                                                 ­    not too far down
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