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maybella snow Sep 2013
i have a heart
despite what i thought
its still there        
but all my energy                            
has been leaked                          
and i wake
i laugh
i cry    
i smile
i live  
i sleep
but i can't find it
anywhere in myself
to love
my heart is taken              
how can i give it      
to another?
525 · Jul 2013
- it's just a wish -
maybella snow Jul 2013
i wish i was naturally pretty                  
i wish i was naturally skinny                  
i wish i was naturally happy                  
i wish i was naturally loving                  
i wish i was naturally never frightened
i wish i was naturally smart                    
i wish i could stop wishing
                      for things that
will never come true
i wish i wasn't a dreamer                        

- i wish -
maybella snow Aug 2013
just        
hold  
me
     *tonight
10 words including title
maybella snow Aug 2013
10 words


*your death caused the hole in my heart, i'm trying to fill it
519 · Dec 2013
you're pretty lost too
maybella snow Dec 2013
I wish to smell your skin
at 1am when you're asleep
and don't feel the tickle
of my hair on your neck
let me loose what I have
left in you
519 · Aug 2013
that saying
maybella snow Aug 2013
"enemies hurt
but friends hurt more"
is truer than anything
i've even known
518 · Dec 2013
cotton souls
maybella snow Dec 2013
it has been a few days
since I have felt the
pleasure of pain
and oh how I
miss that sting
rush of adrenaline
a wide awakening
and harsh coloring
but oh how I
miss that sting

blood bleeds red                    
just as my heart beats          
dead
maybella snow Jan 2014
10 words


and its your choice
if you get lost in them
maybella snow Jun 2013
you're the pale disk of floating in my sky
untouchable and unreachable                                
yet you're always there

floating, unmoving but there                                        
even in the day                                                
sitting umong the clouds
set upon a blue backdrop                      
i find you constantly during the day
searching the sky frantically to re locate you                                      
but you're always there                              

at night it becomes easier to find you            
but harder to ignore you too

your pale, distinct light is a reliable roommate
i'm always up at night                                                
i can't help it, you're at your brightest then      
i can't ignore you    
can't sleep while you're near
i wouldn't want to                                                    

maybe that's why i sleep peaceful  
on stormy nights      
when you're not keeping me up            

not that the moon can help shining
brighter at night
than in the day                      

[ ~ ]
maybella snow Jun 2013
10 words
decided to make a 10 word poem, thats what happened, never done it before, idk if its good
maybella snow Jul 2013
hold me as i cry                                  
let my tears soak into your silken skin                  
bear my weight as i collapse into your arms
let me feel your heartbeat                                                  
the gentle rhythm of your existence
hold me as i empty my fears                    
let your heart absorb my love                                    
but make sure to give some back    
be my backbone                                                
hold me safe            
i need you                      
x my love
maybella snow Jul 2013
i can no longer look at birds
                    as they fly free through the sky
i can't stand seeing fish
                        as they're able to swim away
freedom entrapped me
no one is holding me here
but i can't leave either
512 · Sep 2013
i'm home
maybella snow Sep 2013
climbing back into bloodstained sheets
memories crash down like waves on rocks
the faint tinge of death and stench of sadness
re-locating and checking old hiding places
of unused self torture devices
my mind ticks over
and tears fall
i'm home
again
                                                    i miss you
512 · Aug 2013
various tears today
maybella snow Aug 2013
tears of anger
               hate
tears of fear
               shame
tears of love
               longing
                                  baised on the reasons why
                                                           i cried today
maybella snow Jul 2013
wake up.
roll over; closer to you
cuddle until we either,
              fall back asleep
              get hungry enough to rise
              or have somewhere to be
              - we've somewhere to be today -
a quick kiss
before climbing out of bed
you flick the kettle on
as i go to the bathroom.
i put toast in for both of us
while you use the bathroom.
          we sit down at the table
          at the same time
to drink our coffee
           eat our toast
you turn your favorite music on
        when/if our song comes on
                  i pull you up to dance
before we begin washing dishes
all the while dancing crazily
      you pull me in for a kiss
                 i squeak surprised
before holding you closer
we kiss for longer than expected
                     we'll be late for class
i pass you your pants
in exchange for my shirt.
fully dressed,
we walk out the door
       hands held firmly
ready for another day
together
509 · Jul 2013
baby, its fire
maybella snow Jul 2013
i reached my hand into the fireplace today
just then actually                        
i was bored, and wasn't thinking
other than the fact, that it was so pretty
and delicate,
i just wanted to touch it                          
so i reached in                                          
and it took too long                          
for feeling and sense to kick in
because my finger is now
blistered
maybella snow Aug 2013
everyone
let        
me  
be
508 · Jul 2013
i'm feeling bittersweet
maybella snow Jul 2013
is bittersweet a feeling?
                   because
it's the only way to describe                          
              how i'm feeling
508 · Mar 2014
"you have to save yourself"
maybella snow Mar 2014
i know i have
to save myself
but will anyone ever
be willing to be
the band aid
that holds
the slashed up
skin on my
wrists
together?
507 · Aug 2013
your fault
maybella snow Aug 2013
you died
i tried to
         i wish i did
dying is easier
than this pain
          of living
505 · Jun 2013
why?
maybella snow Jun 2013
why?              why?why?                why?   why?            why?   why?             why?
    *why?         why?     why?           why?     why?             why?     why?        why?
        
        why?   why?           why?    why?        why?  why?  why?        why? why?      
          why?why?              why?why?          why?         ­    why?             why?            
             why?                        why?               why?             why?             why?            
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
504 · Jul 2013
tears will fall tonight
maybella snow Jul 2013
more than gravity
    is evoking them
10 words
maybella snow Sep 2013
there's no hope of getting back together
i'm alive, he's not
                               last thing he said
                               was he loved me
                               and   apologized
its not the same
at all, its not;
                        "sorry i cant live with you anymore,
                  we're just not right for each other"
its;
           "i actually cant live anymore
                  we were perfect, but the world
                        is too much, it hurts too much,
                                 i'm sorry baby, i love you"
maybella snow Jul 2013
you yell at me          
tell me how stupid i am              
i believe it
you're my mother after all                          
and then
you burst into tears    
when you think
i don't love you anymore              
you're scared of me leaving
so you gently hug me              
this always worked                              
i'd burst into tears
you'd cry too              
and all would be forgiven
but now
i've realized                    
i never said anything    
i never hurt you              
you hurt me
always          
i'm done apologizing                                
for things i didn't do                                    
now        
you tell me not to treat you                          
like an enemy                          
maybe      
you've        
become
one
but you did it to yourself                  
and i'm so confused              
shut down                      
to when you walk up to me                            
and gently hug me            
as you used to
502 · Jul 2013
i really don't want kids
maybella snow Jul 2013
why would i?
i don't want to be like you
and ruin their life
20 words
502 · Aug 2013
"i'm sorry for your loss"
maybella snow Aug 2013
it broke my heart
that he died
he's gone
my love
is gone
but please                    
i'm trying to cope                  
and that means                  
although people might
dissagree with my methods
but i'm trying really hard
not to think                          
about the emptiness
that was filled by him
it's cold
and i find myself shaking
but please                
let me try and forget
it's not that i don't like people
saying this                                    
if they really are sorry      
about my loss        
it just hurts
more every time
maybella snow Aug 2013
i had a dream
that you were here
holding me safe
in this dream
i wanted to talk to you
so i was simply going to open
my eyes, and talk to you
i woke                                                             ­                         
i opened my eyes                                                             ­      
and instead of you holding me                                            
the reality of your absence                                                     
weig­hed down                                                             ­           
because i was awake                                                            ­  
and you slept                                                            ­              
six feet down                                                             ­             
never to wake again                                                            ­  
this is why i don't sleep
because i'll wake up alone
the nightmares of your death
used to keep me awake
now the dreams of your life
makes me not want to sleep
because i want to sleep forever
six feet down
held safe in your arms
never to wake again
maybella snow Dec 2013
if I told you
I was going to die
tomorrow
would you
remember the first
message I sent you
or maybe
you'd remember
the first time
you realised
it was love
maybella snow Jun 2013
10 words


~
that's the amount of days until i'm 18 and can legally leave home without parental permission
497 · Aug 2013
emptiness shrouds me
maybella snow Aug 2013
i  want  to  leak  it  out
along  with  the  blood
that   runs  partnerless
in the  blue veins  that
trace lifeless pale skin
497 · Feb 2014
reflective mirrors
maybella snow Feb 2014
its like im in a hole. its really deep and dark
and looking up there is                              light
but its too far                            away                 .
i know i will  never  be  able to reach it. this
hole im stuck in.    it has windows so people
see me.    theyre looking at me but they cant
reach me.    they cant          touch               me
                        i can only just see their outline. i
walk around in circles walk around in circles
that is unless im just sitting. too tired to move
theres no way    out                too tired to live
maybella snow Aug 2013
but the glorious feeling
          of having
                       no sustainable thoughts
                                    is amazing
everything
                                                             flitters
                          around

pay no attention to the
emotions you were feeling
        white fuzz
cloud
                             covers them with a veil
                nothing matters
496 · Jul 2013
how many reasons are there?
maybella snow Jul 2013
i just love it how                      
             when i'm having
a random rant                                  
about something completely ridicules                                                        ­
                                                              li­ke stockings [psh]
                                                         ­       or having a tiny hole
                                                            ­                 in your favorite socks [gasp]
you laugh                          
agree                                      
then say, while you're smiling                    
completely out of no where                              
"this is                                                      
one of the reasons                
why i love you"
                                    

                      ­                 and that is one of the reasons
why i love you
this might be strange to say, but this is my favorite poem that i've ever written, wrote it just then, but yes it's my favorite, because it makes me smile
496 · Oct 2013
wear me on your heart
maybella snow Oct 2013
let me touch
the softest skin
on the inside
of your elbow
and let me know
you're real
not a fake
name and face
let me know
you have
a soft spot
for me
inside the crook
of your heart
don't let me rest
on your sleeve
495 · Sep 2013
reminding myself
maybella snow Sep 2013
lungs;                        
breathe                        
heart;                        
beat                        
i'm alive                        
so live                        
if not for me
for him
maybella snow Sep 2013
remember when you showed me how
if you drank the exact amount
       of liquid inside a can
               you could sit it
                       so it sat on the very ledge
                               and nothing spilt
                                     as gravity held it
                                           along with the liquid
yet if you drank too much or
too little, it tipped and
spilt everywhere
                                        please teach me
                                        how to do this
                                        with the thoughts
                                        in my head.           and
                                        with the emotions
                                        in my heart.
maybella snow Sep 2013
i stood
                   right on the railing
               of our bridge
                         that crosses the river
             this is
where i stood
                                for twenty minutes
                                considering the idea
                                of jumping
i thought
everything through
how (if) people would miss me
what their reactions would be
how they'd blame themselves
                and i knew
things weren't bad enough
(not yet) for me to die
                    people might not depend on me, as such
                            but people would blame themselves
and the exact same thing
would happen to them
as what happened to me
when he ended his life
                                                          how could i do this
                                                          when i know
                                                          first hand
                                                          how it felt
                                                          knowing he died
                                                          and i wasn't able
                                                          to do anything
        no, i can't
i'm not desperate enough
not yet
                    i'm trying
                    to get better
                    before i'm too sad
                    to live
494 · Jul 2013
"love, sleep"
maybella snow Jul 2013
you tell me
        my body is listening
        but my mind is a
stubborn child without what it wants
        and it's putting up a fair fight
494 · Jul 2013
proof of true love
maybella snow Jul 2013
-
                     a girl, an average teenager
   falls in love with a boy
        parents dissagree -bittersweet-
a new idea is developed in the science
                  of the brain and controling it
needing test dumbies, scientists set out
    the girls parents, use her, for money or whatever
by this time, the girl has depression
                         but still loves her boy
her parents enrol her as a test subject
               scientist with new ideas
      drugs are used, she's put to sleep
                           a year she sleeps through
   a whole year of testing
                      scientist experiment on her brain -gruesome-
the scientist believe they've fixed the girls
       depression, anxiety, and she no longer
                  remembers her boy
upon her arival home
         with a fresh deleted brain information
   no memories, nothing
                                 she finds a phone number on her table
calls it
           on the other end, a boy, her old boyfriend
   the one she had, before her memory was erased
                                     they meet
and she falls in love with him again
                      fresh memories of love, with the same boy

-completely baised on a true story-

true love exists
this is off a documentary i saw in class, scientists were experimenting on the brain. deleting memories ect.
maybella snow Jun 2013
i hate that horrible feeling              
when you catch something
but not quite                              
and you know          
its just going to slip              
through your fingers                  
and                    

hit the ground

and there's nothing                                        
you can do                                
to catch it properly                                            
as it clunks
and hits the floor
there's no changing
how it happened          

you just didn't                                    
grasp it                                                        
good enough                                  
f            
a  
l          
l  
i    
n          
g
491 · Sep 2013
remember that time?
maybella snow Sep 2013
remember that time?                                                                        
she tried her hardest to climb
the tallest tree                                
wanting to be on top of the world
remember that time?                                                                        
she went too high
the height frightened her
she couldn't get back down
remember that time?                                                                        
she decided to change her fears
by placing a trampoline at the bottom
and jumping onto it
remember that time?                                                                        
she then hung a swing up
and was on it until the rope snapped
then she put another up
remember that time?                                                                        
she got a seat swing
so she could read outside on it
and be suspended off the ground
remember that time?                                                                        

consider this time?                                                                            
her being overwhelmed by the world
she became frightened of everything
she stopped trying over and over again
she wanted to jump from high up;
she wanted to be forever suspended
maybella snow May 2013
small Colored blOcks
every hue of the raiNbow
all different shapes and sizes
staCked randomly Every which way
filling gAps with more varying blocks
more carfuL the sEcond time
filling Darkness with colour
built into a tiny mansion,

to complete, a moat
with it is a diFferent purpose
its to trap, keep things in, not out
filled with dArk murky water, Lots of it
evil creatureS liE under the surface
deep enough to remAin unseeN
hiDing and waiting out pray
until it’s close enough

plucking up courage
an unsuspecTing Escapee
in a last ditch effoRt to get out
swims despeRately wIth limbs Flailing
getting awaY from a place of vile hues
fake pIgment deceiviNg eyes
coverinG it’s true colours
tints of black, grey
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