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maybella snow Jul 2013
10 words
*my heart will stop beating, slow struggles, flickering eyes. dead.
maybella snow Nov 2013
no no no                 no no no
no  no no no           no no no  no
no no no no no i don't no no no no
no no no no deserve no no no
no no happiness no no
no no no no no
no no no
no
702 · May 2013
bubble wrapped
maybella snow May 2013
love is a two way mechanism.
it needs to be rebounded to work.
without the rebound, it changes.
becomes self hate, loathing, hurt.
the thing that makes it two way.
it needs to be given to be received.
if you give all your love away.
packages covered with bright paper.
then there is none left for you.
your love is required to be given back.
with the force that you gave to them.
this is why one sided love fails to work.
with no one to ricochet it back to you.
stronger than they received.
your love disappears, flies away.
you fall down into darkness.
and keep falling.
down deeper.
down darker.
down colder.
you hope that you’ll find light.
someday you will, hopefully.
you’ll find someone who is able.
strong and perfect for you.
the right things in the right person.
who will hand you back presents.
packages of love thought long lost.
given with a smile and bow on top.
wrapped with a return address.
only for the one who gave it.
to be returned some day.
when you find the light.
your love.
maybella snow Sep 2013
eyelashes;
they hold one another
                only at night
but they're constantly
                            brushing each other
                            throughout the day
                            for less than a second
of embracing
before being
                                               ripped                      apart
to once again
hold the other
at night when
               eyes are **closed
maybella snow May 2013
i compare school to space,
there are the mean people that you avoid at all costs,
the asteroids,
they will destroy you one by one.
the small dwarf planets,
boring people that are basically non existent,
nothing major,
or concerning you.
there are the shooting stars,
testosterone filled boys,
one bright spark for a second then out,
attention seeking.
there are the stars,
the people that are nice without meaning to be,
but can burn if you get too close.
the teachers are the larger planets,
controlling other orbiting planets.
but you,
you're the sun,
the light of my day,
what gets me up in the morning.
you shine simply because you do,
nothing can over power you.
so many people revolve around you,
because you are kind,
and bright,
they cant help it.
you love with so much power,
but burn those who are mean to the people you love.

this is why school is like space

**<3
for my dearest and most loved best friend, thank-you for being my sun... **
697 · May 2013
burrow for the winter
maybella snow May 2013
i wish to burrow into your velvet skin

deep down past the harsh coldness

into the veins leading a clear pathway

past the protecting ribs

around your sturdy collarbone

directing me to your heart

where warmth resides

as a permanent member
maybella snow Jul 2013
i didn't think        
i would be like this                  
sad, angry, depressed        
i'm not that bad
i still function    
- most of the time -                     but  
i didn't know    
that everyone says you're
"off the rails"                                
you'd think i'd know
i mean                                
i'm your daughter                    
i thought it might be more obvious        
if my mother was crazy                        
and that
the whole town    
is just waiting
for me to either      
go insane                        
rebel                        
or become
really depressed                        
because of her                        
it's frightening
in a small town
when they all know        
and are waiting                
for my                                
eventual
insanity
maybella snow Jul 2013
two years, you're more than two years older than me
you're a horrible lier, and horribly mean when you're angry
or if i touch any of your stuff that i'm not meant to
but besides all the screaming and chasing me around the house
you're a good older brother
you listen to me when i'm whining
yeah you can be an idiot who's up himself and doesn't care about me
but most of the time
you're alright, there are some funny things i could mention, but you might yell at me for them
so i'm not going to go there, and yeah you wont see this, i know, maybe one day i'll show you
but probably not, hehe, anyway
this whole thing is meant to be about
how i'm actually going to miss you when you move out
i'm going to miss our stupid jokes
i'm going to miss you
i might have said, okay i've said that i hated you many times
but i only have one big brother, and thats you, and yeah i'm gonna miss you
i don't want to be left alone here, to become the oldest sibling of the house
i don't know how you handled that, thanks big bro
i will miss you, selfish as i am, i don't want you to leave
but thanks for being an overall, mostly good, big brother C:
**
697 · Jul 2013
we'll fight
maybella snow Jul 2013
backs pressed against each other      
weapons only of hands
knees       feet      heads        
the wind howls                                    

the world is a powerful enemy
sly       conniving      uncaring                
attacking with fury
we don't deserve any of this

we're already bleeding        
crying        worn out
it's only making our wounds worse      
cuts deeper           bruises darker                      

we lash out against it            
fists flying         hair whipping around  
we're a strong team                    

we know each others weaknesses
down falls            soft spots  
and we know how we're able to help the other    

i know when you don't see the fist            
coming at your head, turning to block
i kick back            
you're there to keep my balance    
assuring i don't fall

twisting and turning                                          
spinning around in battle stances                    
we're fighting the world                    
we've no idea if we're winning                        
but we're not going to be beaten                      

never will we let anything beat us
never will we let anything part us

the world fights everything                      
but it wont win                
not against true love                                                  

so we're fighting it    
we'll beat the world    
hand in hand                                      
back to back                                        
with true love
on our side
deleted this completely by accident, but i've put it back up again..
696 · Jul 2013
seaside suicide
maybella snow Jul 2013
wind whips around a body
      standing high upon a cliff
  they're not scared
                    and if they are
         other emotions are hiding it
conflicting thoughts
    all revolving around
                the jump, or fall
looking over the edge
   water tumbles
           crashes, water sprays
  rocks are pummelled by salt water
picked on, shoved, drowned
                the person glances to the sky
  the sun is setting
       they smile
a pretty last sight to see
                               clouds aren't very thick
  it'll be a cold night
            they remove their shoes
  the ones they hurriedly shoved on
      before fleeing the door
looking up again
           smiling
    they take a slight run
extending their arms
          like a bird
       or plane, ready for take-off
  they fly
                for a split second they're free
    no one can control them now
they're away, never returning
          smiling as they fly into the sun set

-------

i want to fly
695 · Jan 2014
midnight thoughts midday
maybella snow Jan 2014
leave me in awe
at the soft skin
inside your elbow
let me rest my cheek
against your chest
in surrender
be brave enough
to let me hear
your heart beat
delicately kiss
the scars I hide
because I trust
you
694 · Sep 2013
i like the city
maybella snow Sep 2013
avoid                         eye         contact    
keep to your own business
don't ever look vulnerable
or lost                                                                  
look like    
you have somewhere to be
and you'll be okay
because people will think
someone might be waiting for you
even if                        
you're all alone
no one knows          
no ones opinion matters
because you're only
a fleeting person
in a crowd
693 · Sep 2013
sweet nothing at 2:00am
maybella snow Sep 2013
it has been some time
since i've been awake at
                         2:00am
       i forgot how
quite and peaceful it is
where i'm only just
                         tired enough
                that the thoughts
don't really matter now
                     and memories are just
            a faint fuzz
maybella snow Dec 2013
the cord I tied around my neck
wasn't tight enough to ****
I passed out, notebook
in hand asleep
691 · Oct 2013
dont really care anymore
maybella snow Oct 2013
hugs legs to chest
wraps arms around oneself
silent tears fall
stop breathing
rock back and forth
head back in agony
screams
i give up

(i'm tired)
maybella snow Jul 2013
if you're insane                
my being insane                            
shouldn't be too bad
we'll grow insane together

it'll be crazy
689 · Nov 2013
six days clean
maybella snow Nov 2013
i want to be pretty          
people always told me
i'm a beautiful person
i'm wonderful              
on the inside

excuse my messed up head
but i wanted to be beautiful
on the outside                                      
so with a blade
slashed across skin
i got my insides
to be outside me
and only then
****** and tired
did i feel pretty
sorry its gruesome but i never said i like my thoughts
688 · Jul 2013
i don't like cute couples
maybella snow Jul 2013
well, it's not that
     i guess i'm just so insanely
                                jealous
that they can cuddle
                 hold hands
                 put their faces close
                 and whisper
                 words of love
                 with gentle grazes
                 or adjusting postures
                 to be closer

i don't like
                 that you're too far away
                         for us to ever even hug
                                      i'd **** for a hug some days
           -most days-           not just a hug
                                                  but a hug with you
                                                                    only you
686 · Jul 2013
depressive
maybella snow Jul 2013
feeling depressed
     doesn't mean, nessisarily that i am
             depressed
i want people
            cuddles
            hugs
            kisses
                           but i don't want
                     my depressed mood
                                 to rub off on anyone
                i hold dear
                          it's simply not fair
686 · Jun 2013
you, un-described
maybella snow Jun 2013
there is no way to describe
            your beauty
i agree that sounds corny, it does
        
                 b u t

how am i to explain to people
                  
                      how your skin feels?

    the texture of your hair?

            the shadows under your jawline?

                              the gentle,
            loving look of your eyes?

in one poem?

there is no way
              no way that people can imagine it perfect
                                                because you're perfect
              
and this poem shows none of your beauty

~ ♡ ~
680 · Jul 2013
i'd ask if you're 'okay'
maybella snow Jul 2013
but i'm not 'okay' enough to ask
674 · Feb 2014
and this scares me
maybella snow Feb 2014
my life seems
to be controlled
by black shadows
and white pills
maybella snow Dec 2013
dying alone isn't as scary as I thought it would be
bye x

I'm sorry
672 · Jul 2013
summing up another day
maybella snow Jul 2013
floral dresses
      pink converses
  chewing gum
       wind blown hair
sandy beaches
   balancing acts

             hope for us
                      we'll work everything out
i smiled at my memories of you
maybella snow Sep 2013
stained rose petals
     painted skies
dyed leaves
                    and broken stems
     snapped heart strings
          and colored lies
title a half remembered quote by Kristin Cashore
669 · Feb 2014
i think not
maybella snow Feb 2014
fully medicated
and now I think
I'm finally able
to try and
accept the love
you attempted
to give me
are you still
willing
to give it?
666 · Aug 2013
name change:
maybella snow Aug 2013
you stopped calling me baby
and started calling me love
i asked why                                      
you said, because it's fitting          
and baby is too common a name  
for me
665 · Jul 2013
ignore my five word poems
664 · Jul 2013
fire and friendship
maybella snow Jul 2013
Holding the great and noble horse’s mane,
following the long and windy track,
going at hi-speed, wishing I had reins,
with the moving fire right at our back,

Seeing the wild animals speeding away,
running with minds set on getting out,
trying to keep the soaring flames at bay,
hearing the crackles and pops all about.

Heart pumping and legs burning but still going,
Huffing and puffing with all my weight,
a great wild bush brumby worth your knowing.
This fantastic horse is my best mate,  

Watching the sun going down through his ears,
wondering how far this fire zone went.
It feels like we have been running for years,
now that most of his power is spent.

Running for the break in amidst the trees.
Almost out of the toxic black cloud.  
Finally there, going week at the knees,
reaching the ground just recently ploughed,

Greeting all the firemen with tired smiles.
Slowly walking away from the heat,
with zero energy after those miles.
This horse, my mate, none could ever beat.

Days after my nerve-racking bush sprint,
devastation had now set in,
for those where the fire left a foot print,
years worth of growth were now in the bin,  

The rider wasn’t asked what happened, of course.
for three weeks that ride was all the talk:
gossip about a fire, a rider, and horse.
It all began that day with a walk.
    
Sometimes I meet him out in the moonlight
and we remember that fateful day.
We were friends at first sight
soon I wish we could go race away.

Friendship is like a never ending game
over bumps and potholes like a tyre.
Wether a dog or horse, none can tame,
friendship can even endure bush fire
yeah ugh, an old poem i have, wrote it a couple of year ago i was like 13, written on a topic (i live in the country okay, don't judge, this isn't something i normally write about) and i won state for it, so i guess its good. meh... gah i really don't like it, it probably wont stay up for long...
663 · Jul 2013
kind killings
maybella snow Jul 2013
you were too nice today
            i'm just waiting
    for a knife
                             to be
                   embeded in my back
   the next time
         we hug
659 · Jul 2013
the "faceless"
maybella snow Jul 2013
.                                                                ­                  though there are people
      who are accepting of everyone's looks
                              everyone knows it's the self esteem that causes people
to believe that they're not pretty enough              (sorry this is directed at females)
              because there has been a combined effort
                                                     of the "faceless" because
you can't blame any one person
                                 for pushing perfection
                                                      ­            it is many unnamed people, millions
           but
   even if everyone stopped believing
in such thing as "perfection"
                                 it'll always be there, because people want to be better
they want to improve their looks
          for someone, or something
                                                       ­                      when really
                              it's their mindset
                                                  there is no perfection
                    no imperfection
                                         because everyone
                              can't all be the same
                                                            ­                                                and why would it matter?
                                                                ­                                       everyone has different tastes
                                                          ­                                                        everyone finds different attractiveness
                                         so there is never a way
                                                             ­                              to be perfect
                                                         ­                for everyone
                its the nameless
        and the faceless
that pushes the belief
  that perfection
           is real
if this makes so sense i apologies :\
659 · Aug 2013
i really am trying, please
maybella snow Aug 2013
i'm trying so hard
to learn how        
to accept compliments
and actually believe it
i am trying
i really am
but no matter what                    
i just cant seem to grasp                    
why anyone would think                  
i have the ability to be pretty                  
i just
can't
maybella snow Jan 2014
is it worth it?
falling apart
and blaming
myself? I mean
I'm the one
who has mental
issues, I shouldnt
take to heart
when no one
wants me.
except the dark

I know I get judged
for the way I wear
my eyeliner
I look "goth"
sometimes
but I only do it
as a secret promise
to myself that
i am not permitted
to cry that day
because it would
smudge.
name call all you want
but I'm the one who's
forcing myself not to
cry
maybella snow Oct 2013
imagine
waking up
and not dreading
the day
imagine
going to sleep
and dreaming of happiness
not nightmares
imagine
our loved ones
holding us
throughout life
and leading the way
imagine
death being
something that just
happened when it
was meant to
imagine
**living
656 · May 2013
craving withdrawals
maybella snow May 2013
craving something
                     i cant find it
         yet i know
i need it

please help me
   discover it                 recover it
                       locate it

withdrawals
                         **** people
         i'm not a smoker
      or                     drug addict
        
yet this ache
                burns            freezes
   numbs
i've forgotten

what its like
                        to not
        feel this way
                            hurting without pain
maybella snow Aug 2013
not the one's involving flying                                                  
or super strength                                                  
or even endless knowledge                                                  
no,                         instead
i dream of impossibilities like:                                            
you holding me.
us sitting together
arms and legs touching
hands held between us.
gentle, warm hugs
face pressed into your shirt.
smelling your skin
fingers interlocked
your thumb grazing the bruises
swelling my hand
kissing my knuckles better.
you knowing where
each and every one
of my scars are
and loving them
because they're me.
sweet embraces
before blessed sleep
only to wake
still embraced.
seeing your eyes close up
knowing you're only looking
at mine.
groggy voices stating
"i love you"
because it's completely the truth.
your hand
resting on my waist
holding me close
protecting me from the world.
us.
651 · Dec 2013
because you fit perfectly
maybella snow Dec 2013
I lay in bed


back turned to the world
curled up
hiding from everything
huddled and confused
waiting
sadly enough
for someone
to come and lay
with me
and hold me
just to hold me
love me
just because
you love me
because I'm lost
confused
and lonely
and hell
it's cold
turning your back
to  stop the pain
when it's internal
please hold me
just because
maybella snow Jul 2013
some people say
                      how there are so many
teenagers who are just "pathetic"
       they have "depression"
         they "self harm"
                                                     because they want "attention"
                                     of course they ****** well do
                         they're sick of no one caring
                         they're sick of no one knowing
                         they're sick of people hurting them
                         they're sick of society
                         they're sick of family/friends
                         they're sick of it
so no wonder
they hurt
its not because
                         they're weak its because
                    society is harsher
                    society is the killer
                    society, with it's expectations
                                                 uncaring expectations

THATS WHY TEENAGERS CAN'T HANDLE IT
BECAUSE SOCIETY IS DOING IT
AND NO ONE, CAN STOP SOCIETY
648 · Jun 2014
still ticking
maybella snow Jun 2014
i still dont know
why i pushed people away
and im sorry
its no explaination
but ****
                      i miss you
i miss talking
im on medication now
eating disorder in tow
self harm addiction
2 weeks clean
                                       yet finally
                                       im proud
                            im still alive
i made a new hellopoetry ~ snow queen
please follow ♡ i will follow back
i miss you guys
maybella snow Jun 2013
a girl
       wakes up
                 eyes upon
staring at the ceiling
     finding the little spiders
              have grown and multiplied
she smiles
     such small things, such little lives

she rolls out of bed
    shuffles around to find clothes
                    in semi darkness
shoves her hair up
         out of her eyes
and into a loose pony-tail
                                   walks out the door

a girl
       wakes up
                 eyes upon
staring at the ceiling
    not noticing the little spiders
                eyes turned inwards instead
she smiles
        believing today's gonna good

she hops out of bed
    hurries around to find clothes
                    exited about the day
pulls her hair up
         looks at it, considers it
and re-does it to make it perfect
                                   skips out the door

a girl
       lays in bed
                 eyes closed
not responding to the world
     the little spiders have moved away
              grown up, gone to a better place
she's still
     quiet and cold

she's still in bed
    her mother bangs on the door
                    wondering why she's not up
opens it to tell her to hurry
         looks at her, says it again
begins to cry, runs to the form
                               sobs because she never knew
~take it as you will~
maybella snow Jul 2013
the distance between us
is more literal                  
the closest way to physically measure
how far apart we are
would be to cut through the ground            
but  
even though we're so far apart            
that we don't share the same stars

our hearts are together
cuddling under the watchful eye
of our minds                  
which is being distracted by the force
of our souls

love, we're never really
fully apart                                              
we're together in more ways
than one
646 · Jul 2013
i'd blow you a kiss
645 · Jun 2013
newtons 3rd law
maybella snow Jun 2013
i personally believe in magic
but newtons 3 law...
i believe that also, more than anything          

............

a little pond
picturesque in tiny detail
  short cut grass surrounds it                          
the water reflects the flawless sky
the small cheeping of water birds                        
partly submerged water ferns

a duck                          
brightly colored
on the relatively small side
paddles free of worries                
joyfully, around the pond

the ripples it creates  
rebound, hitting the edge multiple times        
lapping up the embankment

i'm the pond
you're the duck
your actions hit me          
multiple times
a day
a week          
a month

...

"for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction"
644 · Dec 2013
new year
maybella snow Dec 2013
good luck
I wish you all
the best
644 · Oct 2013
leave me alone
maybella snow Oct 2013
can everyone just stop
asking me if im okay  
im not okay  
okay?
and im not going to tell you
because you didnt help                
when i needed it
you told me to grow up
"get over it"
well no
you* stop asking me      
you lost my                    
trust a while ago okay
644 · Jul 2013
no love?
maybella snow Jul 2013
no, love?
two different meanings
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