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313 · Jul 2013
blank page//map?
maybella snow Jul 2013
i'm blank


i don't know
      what i'm thinking
if i'm thinking at all
             but i think (if i'm thinking)
  i missed something
along the way
     received wrong directions
to you, or
            you're moving further away
from me
                       and i'm so confused
312 · Oct 2013
explanations?
maybella snow Oct 2013
my poetry is thoughts
about what i'm feeling
and yes,
everything i write
is about my life
i don't understand
how to not write
about what i'm feeling
because that is
why i write
to get out thoughts,
feelings, events, etc
311 · Jul 2013
when we call
maybella snow Jul 2013
you called me
                   or i called you?
                                 it's been too   l o n g
since i last heard
   the deep timbre of your voice
                your soft breathing
                         deep chuckle
                                                         ­         for a while
                                                           ­       we just sat
                                                             ­       distanced
                                                ­                   connected
and listened to our breathing
                                      in... out
                                                                ­                      and i noticed how
                                      we're in synchrony
maybella snow Jul 2013
10 words
i realized my poems don't have complex wording, and i don't usually write like that, i like using simple everyday words, that no one really looks twice at, because they might not sound intense enough for poetry, i try and fill my poems with emotion, not big words
310 · Jul 2013
lay alone under the covers
maybella snow Jul 2013
i'm feeling more alone
          than ever
  i'm scared that your love
                       went down the sink
with the blood
         that once flowed in
thin delicate veins
                                      not
       obtuse pipe work
309 · Jul 2013
hello, i'm me
maybella snow Jul 2013
to the people who read my poetry
          you know what?
    you probably know me
                      better than some of my friends
        it might be weird
              but my poetry
  is my heart, soul, mind, secrets, life
                          so to the people who read what I write
              hello, i'm me
                                         who do you think i am?
     because i'm mostly
              a young girl, still in school, living at home
and in love with a boy
                    who happens to be
                                       on the other side
      of the world

              it's bittersweet
                           it hurts as well
but he loves me too
maybella snow Jun 2013
why?! why do i care about people?!                    
why do i have a helping nature?!              
why do i want to be nice?!                                
when people are horrible?!            
why do people hurt me?!                  
why do i continue to be nice when they do?!
why do i shed tears when this happens?!      
why do i find people who hurt me?!      
why do i go back to people who hurt me?!              
why do i apologize when they hurt me?!    
WHY?!                                  
WHY?!                                                    
WHY?!                      

../../../.
306 · Jul 2013
casual morbid thoughts
maybella snow Jul 2013
your death
  will be
          the suicide
       of both
of us.
304 · Jul 2013
you love me?
maybella snow Jul 2013
truthfully?
completely?
5 words
maybella snow Aug 2013
you're
in every
dream
10 words including title
maybella snow Sep 2013
i'm the living, dead without him
maybella snow Aug 2013
i'm falling like the snow
        you promised we'd play in
my tears fall like the rain
        you promised we'd kiss in
i'm shaking like autumn leaves
        you promised we'd dance in
i'm dying like the roses
        you promised to give me
  
   you broke your promise to live
           can't i break mine?
301 · Aug 2013
i can't hear it now
maybella snow Aug 2013
remember that time
         you gave me a song
said "you have to
listen to it!"

                             so of course i did
                             and i fell in love with it
                             just as i fell in love with you
for weeks
      months
                                              ­      it was the song
                                                            ­ that was us
maybe our love was forever
                     i cry every night
          that you didn't make it
                       to our "forever"
i've stopped
listening to it
it hurts
                                     i'm still waiting
                            for your
                                 "good morning love,
                                              sleep well? x"

                            message
song:
if i'm james dean you're audrey hepburn
sleeping with sirens
301 · Oct 2013
bad ideas:
maybella snow Oct 2013
telling you.
asking for help.
pushing you away.
300 · Jul 2013
i don't...think...know
maybella snow Jul 2013
i don't think I'm okay
i don't know if i will be
i don't think anyone can help
i don't know what i want
i don't think you care
i don't know why i'm writing this
300 · May 2013
sand stories till the end
maybella snow May 2013
our lives have been written
in soft, wet sand
done in a delicate hand
careful not to mess up

      y
          e
              t

how can it be certain?
how wont it mess up?
the sea will wash it away
new beginnings again

over and over

again, it will be constantly
re-written, re-drafted
until you get where you finish
at the end of your story
299 · Aug 2013
i feel sick
maybella snow Aug 2013
sick sick sick
(mental)(physical)(spiritual)
sick sick sick
299 · Jul 2013
not even my friends
maybella snow Jul 2013
my friends;
they don't know what my poetry knows
my poetry is always with me
              stuck in the corners of my mind
                     wanting to escape my heart
my poetry
is a direct link
to my mind
           heart
         secrets
                               *"shhh no one knows"
                         "please don't tell"
298 · Aug 2013
reallytiredpoems
maybella snow Aug 2013
myheadisreallyheavy
     ithurtsalot
                  myeyesarereallydroopy
ithinkineedsomesleep
297 · Aug 2013
sometimes i try
maybella snow Aug 2013
yeah i know i seem like a mean person sometimes
  but i swear, thats only when/
                                                     if someone hurts me
and i don't really know you
   yet i'm worried about you
                                  sometimes this is my downfall
           because i care about people
that will leave and not care about me
                            but i just cant help it
                                   i try to keep a                                                                  distance
but it never really works
        i.get.too.close.anyway
                                                              please don't hurt me
                                                                            i get hurt too easily
                                          through my fake thick skin
                                                                                  i hurt more often than not
297 · Jul 2013
you're not letting me
maybella snow Jul 2013
for every time
i've been tempted to            
                    grab a blade
and pierce my
skin                                  
            instead
i pick up a pen        
and draw or write            
                 a word or two
                 on my
skin                                  

                                                                i know you don't know the exact
                                                                 reason for me writing on my skin
                                                            yet i feel like you should know
                                                              that every time you growl at me
                                                                   for writing or drawing on my skin
                                                     and you tell me not to do it
                                    you're hurting me
you're telling me not to help myself                              
which is what i was doing                                              

i'm trying to help myself
297 · Sep 2013
resolution
maybella snow Sep 2013
somehow
i changed
into my
very own
monster
i hide in
closets
under beds
ready to
**** at
any time
but i'm
not even
scared
anymore
the demons
in my head
and the
angel in
my heart
all created
this
monster;
me
297 · Aug 2013
maybe it's easier
maybella snow Aug 2013
to be pushed down the steps to hell
than climb your way up  to  heaven
295 · Jul 2013
e m p t y s p a c e s
maybella snow Jul 2013
i have too many empty spaces
       that can only be filled by you
             - my fingers
             - my bed
             - my arms
             - my head
             - my house
             - my heart
             - my love
             - my pain
             - my life
                                         you can
                                         fill the  g a p s
295 · Jul 2013
i'm a little strange
maybella snow Jul 2013
people say                                                                        
they hate being home alone                                          
for too long                                                                      
it's too quite.                                                                    
they play music, the TV is on                                        
just so they wont feel so alone                                      
i love being alone
no one is here
to expect anything of me
so i do more than if
everyone is home, and asking me
to do things, because i'm not.
i'm alone all the time                                                      
so being physically alone                                              
almost feels like you're here                                        
not them, you                                                                  
like you're simply sleeping
in our shared bedroom
because you didn't get to sleep
until late//early morning
you were too busy
watching me sleep, and keeping me safe
so you didn't sleep until you were sure
i was okay
this wasnt meant to be a love poem, it kinda just happened
maybella snow Jul 2013
// too many ideas
   &     not being able to think of
only one to do //
293 · Aug 2013
why do you care?
maybella snow Aug 2013
if people talk about me
behind my back                  
i really don't mind                
i don't hear it,
it doesn't bother me
why do you care if they do?
why are you scared to tell people about me?
...yeah it hurts, you don't want them to know?        
why?
maybella snow Jul 2013
10 words
*can't the universe understand i need something to be sad
not just me
292 · Jul 2013
i woke, yet again lonely
292 · Aug 2013
will the lies ever end?
maybella snow Aug 2013
5 words


*will i know the truth?
292 · Aug 2013
just so alone
maybella snow Aug 2013
no one holds me at night
no one hugs me in the street
no one hangs onto my hand
no one wants me
no one
292 · Aug 2013
i didn't. i wish i did
maybella snow Aug 2013
i didn't scream at your face
i didn't punch you
i didn't bleed
i didn't stand up for myself
i didn't just leave
i didn't never come back
                                                           oh how i wish
                                                        that i did
291 · Aug 2013
how can a heart get stuck?
maybella snow Aug 2013
because mine          
is definitely              
lodged in my throat
291 · Jun 2013
† R.I.P †
maybella snow Jun 2013
................................
          /                                  \        
/                  †                    \
    |                 R.I.P                  |    
|                                   ­         |
|                                             |
|                a sad                   |
|                      lonely            |
|                 person                |
-----------------------------------------­--------
289 · Jun 2013
¿?cannot compute¿?
maybella snow Jun 2013
my brain has began to not function
                       as it used to
               it's lagging, catching on old things
    it didn't use to do this
            or maybe its just not as noticeable
287 · Jun 2013
let me kiss it better
maybella snow Jun 2013
i found your scars
you attempted to brush me away
i persisted
brought your wrist
up to my lips

and whispered
"i'm sorry, it'll be okay"
and continued to kiss them
all better

~X~
287 · Jul 2013
repeat ~ taeper
maybella snow Jul 2013
the clouds are
      thick overhead
so i'm not cold
              thinking about
     you
                and writing
     a poem
about how the
     cloud coverage
means i'm not
            cold
sitting outside
               thinking about you

x
sorry if the title is a little confusing, it's simply repeat backwards C:
maybella snow Jul 2013
no                                                          
i've changed    
my mind              
it comforts me more now                          
because i know                                                  
that when i plunge                                                            
into its                                                                                          
depths                                        

i wont                  
have to come back  
to a place            
i have to call "home"
maybella snow Jul 2013
no matter how loud
          i listen to my music
even if it       p o u n d s
    its never
       loud enough to smother
the volume of my thoughts
maybella snow Jun 2013
i love you                              





i cant live




without you                      

~.~.~
285 · Aug 2013
[blood falls/drips]
maybella snow Aug 2013
how much          
until there's            
no more      
left?

how much        
until i die?
maybella snow Jul 2013
.          .        .         .      .      .          .              .            .
                           . .          .    .                . .               .                    .       . . .                 .
.       .        . .              .          .         .  
.                  .           .            . . . .       .          .        .  
.               .               .                    .    .  .                    .               .  .             .
.       .   .      .          .       .             . .                         .
.               .        .      .         . . .               .         .       .     . .
284 · Aug 2013
i am alone
maybella snow Aug 2013
nothing feels right
to be felt in
the misshapen body
i'm stuck in
no one see or hears              
the horrid thoughts
that are in my head
no one knows                      
how alone i feel      
no                                          
you cant know                        
because
you're not
me
284 · Sep 2013
i can't stop thinking of us
maybella snow Sep 2013
what we could have become
you were perfect
       why                why        why        why
why       why                            why                 why
        wasn't i there
   to save you
              to stop you
and you'd be alive today
we'd be so happy
everything would be perfect
284 · Aug 2013
i fall
maybella snow Aug 2013
for the                                      
broken                            
beaten              
depressed
         poets
                      every
                                 time
10 words including title
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