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405 · Jul 2013
dogs chase cats that run
403 · Aug 2013
i hurt everywhere
maybella snow Aug 2013
not in a single place
but the general everywhere

call me crazy              
insane              
******              
but i swear
maybe sometimes
you're here
400 · Aug 2013
don't take it personally
maybella snow Aug 2013
these are all just
my unedited thoughts
400 · Jul 2013
~you (caused my smile)
maybella snow Jul 2013
i have a small list of everything that has made
    me smile, while thinking about you
~your orange blanket
~that half drunken bottle of coke
~your rock collection
~apple sauce in a container
~creaky floor boards
~the jacket you love
~you
~all of you
~your smile
~your frown
~you

those are some
        a small number
of things
that made me
                            smile
thinking about
         you

x
400 · Aug 2013
i'm locking down everything
maybella snow Aug 2013
no more letting people know my pain
no more showing weakness                  
no more people will see my tears        
no more anything                                    
i think it's time
for me to stop  
writing poetry
for everyone    
to see                
sorry
399 · Aug 2013
fell into your eyes
maybella snow Aug 2013
your hair fell into your eyes
      but you didn't brush it away
      you left it
                                                     there
     covering your eye
it was so cute                                                        (i love you)
but i hated
    that you left it there
    and i wasn't able
    to brush it
                                                     away
    it tortured me
    please don't leave it
                                                     there
    just move it
                                                     away
    for me please
    end my torture of not
    being able to move it
399 · Jun 2013
it's completely true
maybella snow Jun 2013
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            nfoeip03      u3 offomia                                oiOIHSNIOAMA""}
foaih8 eho               dOIHD DOINX NOS9OIESP
                                ifm'pefjo iaAR GF
                                                         dwap9r          oiHDOId nfslif oifhw  ooif
                a pfou esvjaH NFGIO
IFUAH ODIO D DHIAOA                AOIDHA oihdda  IOH oif



                                                                                                                                                i exist
unfortunately?
yes that is simply rage typing, not words
399 · May 2013
stop this nothing
maybella snow May 2013
i want to crush my skull
to stop the nothingness                  
to feel something
even if its pain              
i need it
i need something  
to take my thoughts      
off nothingness                                
the pressure crushes
what's doing this?                  
make it stop
   give me something
pain killers if you will                    
just help

i need          

something                  

anything  

whatever  

just                    

help          

me

stop                

it

...
399 · Jul 2013
sharing stars
maybella snow Jul 2013
i really wish that                                
we shared the same night sky                            
                                               no
instead I see the                                    
southern cross                                    
while you see                                    
the big dipper                                    

*   .    .  *  * .     *     .  .
. *  . *   .   * .   * *.    . .   *    .   *  .   .  *  . *
.   . . * . *    . *      . . *    * .       .
398 · Jul 2013
morning darkness
maybella snow Jul 2013
i don't look forward to
        the morning sun
              it only reminds me
     that it's now
                                                   d a r k
               where you are
maybella snow Jul 2013
sometimes i think the only reason
       that i'm able to sleep at all
  is because i know
           that right then

                  you're wishing
                           you
                     were here
                       with me
398 · Jul 2013
a while but not too long
maybella snow Jul 2013
it has been a while           tick tock
but it hasn't really been that long                      
not compared to other times            

for some reason            
i'm really worried about you            
i have a sinking feeling            
that something's wrong
maybe something happened            
i think something's wrong
i'm worried i know something's wrong
i just need to hear back from you            
i feel there's something wrong
i hope it's nothing too bad            
i wish i could be there            
i would know for sure then            
if something was wrong
398 · Nov 2013
maybe not so much
maybella snow Nov 2013
its beginning to work    
these locks are holding emotions in
no one knows my thoughts
               its working                    
              im glad                          
maybe i can save people now
maybe i can care                      
stop being selfish
*****
maybella snow Jun 2013
i'm freaking out                    
shaking                            
     crying                
not breathing                                                          
                                    no one sees this
                                                             they cant see me
dying
                                                          they don't know
                           i'm struggling

that i'm on the                                      
                                                                        edge
                                                                               :
                                                                             :
                                                                           :
                                                                         :
                                                                       :

                                                                                                                    of insanity                      
and am about to                                                              
        f
a
l      
l              

f              
a        
s
    t
                                                                hold me up
                                                                       grab me
                                                                i'm about to
                                                                           jump
                              
involuntarily                                                                  
no                                                                                                    
my mind is  p . u . s . h . i . n . g  me                               over that edge

no one can see it                                                                                                        
through my fake smile and laugh                                                

                                                                but i can't stop myself
                                  from hiding this
i can't

mind control at work                                                                  
i can't escape                                                                                                  
i ' m
f a l l i n g
. . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . . . . .
        . . . . . .
            . . . .
                . .
                 .
      d o w n

c    a    t    c    h        m    e
397 · Jun 2013
48 hours... longer?
maybella snow Jun 2013
its been
              48 hours
         or longer?
since i last heard from you
   i'm worried
                 about
you
               only ever you

life has become
                 a monotone
                                    in comparison
you're a playlist
                    in my head
   forever on repeat

                                          o v e r    a n d    o v e r

i smile at our little jokes
                       said not too long ago
i'm joyful
      i am
            
                but i need to know
     where and how
                     you are
396 · Aug 2013
[head banging]
maybella snow Aug 2013
i think it's a little different
when it's against a wall
maybella snow Oct 2013
and i think that's a good thing
because i don't want anyone
to know what this pain is
so i know you don't
understand and i
am glad of that
accept it
maybella snow Jun 2013
i'm sorry mum, mom, mother, ma, mommy

                    that i'm not like you
i'm sorry
                    that i'm not perfect
i'm sorry
                    that i forget things sometimes
i'm sorry
                    that i have a different social life
i'm sorry    
                   that i'm not what you expected me to be
i'm sorry
                   that you want more than i can give
i'm sorry
                   that i'm creative in different ways
i'm sorry

i'm sorry

i'm sorry
                  that i say i'm sorry so much
i'm sorry



sorry
394 · Oct 2013
≥:≤
maybella snow Oct 2013
give me wings
so i can fly though the day
without dark thoughts
dragging me down
maybella snow Aug 2013
i hide me from myself
i don't like me for who i am
393 · Jul 2013
aka now
maybella snow Jul 2013
i know, this saddens me
          but i know
that i will never know                    
everything you do
                  everywhere you go
everyone you're with                            
                                            i have
reason not to trust you                                      
                   but
                                          i also have every reason to trust you

and so i do                                                                  
i trust you with your life                                                          
i trust you with mine                                                                
                                          just as
                                             you trust me with your life
                                      you trust me with mine

in these ways    
its hard not to think        
              that we can't make it
through the roughest times                                      

                                                                                                                                    aka now
*i trust you
393 · Aug 2013
yeah don
maybella snow Aug 2013
sitting uncomfortably in my skin
you tell me i'm not alone in how
i seem to be feeling, with every-
thing  thats going on. i don't   kn-
ow  about  that,  i  feel  alone, so
alone that all i want is him,  back
you tell me never to talk  to  him
because he hurt me,  but he  ma-
de me feel  so  special and loved
no  one  else  has  made  me  feel
that  way,  yet  you  tell  me you'
ll  forever  hate  me  if  i  start  a
conversation  with  him,     only
because  he  hurt  me,  but what
if  he  wants  me  back?  he loves
me,    he  never  stopped  loving
me,    why  wouldn't  i  want  to
talk  to  the  love  of  my life? it's
in  my  nature,  soul, heart, body
to  be  with  someone  who  just
so   happens   to   love  me   with
their everything, as i love   them,
with my  everything  its just  not
fair,    that    you're   allowed   to
complain  about  how  that   guy
you  like  has  ruined  your   life,
because    of   whatever   he  did,
yet i'm  not  allowed to cry once,
or  talk  to my  love   because  of
your views on our   relationship,
how  is  that  fair?  you're  upset-
ing me so much, i bet you didn't
know    that    though    did   you?
393 · Sep 2013
this isn't a poem it's shit
maybella snow Sep 2013
i need you
right now
here
cradled in my arms
or you holding me
i don't know
i don't care
but i know
i need you
you understand
mostly
maybella snow Jul 2013
i want to upload
your sweet poems on here
the ones you gave me
because people only see
what you put up on your page
and yes thats you
but it's not the you i see
it's the harsh side of you
i would put your poems on            
the nicer, loving ones                      
but half of me                                    
is selfish and doesn't want anyone
to see this side                                  
to see my side of you                      

...it's mine..
and i'll protect you
like a dragon with its treasure
maybella snow Jul 2013
its impossible not to think
          that we wont make it through
    everything
                              because we started off
               in the tough stuff
it only made us stronger
                     made us love each other more
      made us more determined to stay
i love you x
          thankyou for saying it back to me

       yeah we're still in the tough stuff
but we're already moving through it
390 · Jul 2013
a little inside... joke?
maybella snow Jul 2013
at home we have                        
i guess you could call it a joke
involving a plastic spider                      
about the size of my palm                      
this spider
a red-back i believe
is placed somewhere
on top of a door                                        
so it'll fall on the next person                  
who opens it                                              
and the whole thing
is a bit of a competition
of who can not be scared
when it falls unexpectedly
onto them, then put it somewhere
where it'll fall on someone else

right now                                                          
i believe its perched                                        
on the shower head                                                                    
i didn't put it there                                
i spotted it out of                                    
the corner of my eye                              
i hope i don't
forget it's there
when it topples onto me
maybella snow Jul 2013
meeting you                                  
a boy with nothing to live for
anymore, despair, loathing          
i fell for a broken boy
not broken in the way of crushed
but shattered                      
i found your heart
yes, there is one there      
you just seemed to have forgotten
how to use it
but don't worry          
because i think
you've remembered now
390 · Jul 2013
two months, twenty days
maybella snow Jul 2013
i'd cope better
if i was
dead
maybella snow Jul 2013
body                    
mind      
soul  
skin                  
heart                        
bones    

the list could go on
but you already know
all of what you own
because i own that
about you
389 · Aug 2013
you still doubt?
maybella snow Aug 2013
you doubt his love for me?                                                                
you didn't read the poems
you didn't hear the pain in his voice
you didn't see his tears because he had to go
you didn't know about the amount of times he threatened people
(because they had made me cry)                              you didn't see the change in him
you didn't see how he was to begin, how he improved impressively
you didn't count the times he told me he loved me
you didn't hear the happiness in his laughter
you didn't see the adoring smiles
you didn't see/know/hear
any of this
you doubt my love for him?                                                                
you have no idea
how much i love him
you have no right
to pose this opinion on me
387 · Aug 2013
i'm okay with feeling empty
maybella snow Aug 2013
5 words


*i've been filled, and emptied
386 · Jul 2013
is life fake?
maybella snow Jul 2013
it's hard to know            
what's real                      
in a world so fake
it thinks it's real
fake seems to be the new "real"
if this makes sense to anyone I'd be surprised, it doesn't really make sense to me
386 · Sep 2013
going? going? going? gone
maybella snow Sep 2013
i'm so jumpy
every creak makes me
flinch away            
a comforting
hand?                          
on my back
i've gone insane
but baby
hold me tight
i know you're here          
yes                                
i am                          
insane                  
but i don't      
even care  
anymore
386 · Jul 2013
hyperthermia's setting in
maybella snow Jul 2013
my heart it cold
my skin is frosted
my eyes are ice
my mind is frost burnt

your love is my fire
                   defrost me
                      warm me up
i'm too cold
i'll die soon
385 · Jul 2013
~connected~ through ~pain~
maybella snow Jul 2013
sometimes i think                              
that we                                                      
                               really are
~connected~                                                
                                                because when you tell me
                                      you caused yourself harm

and if i think back            
i remember a                            
                       slashing pain
over my skin    
                                                                                where i hadn't
                                                                                                          done anything

so really                                                    

you're hurting
both of us.

                                                             please stop.

. .
maybella snow Jun 2013
don't                  please            
don't                      
do anything                              
to get my            
attention                
chance is    
you already had it                          
,',',',',
maybella snow Aug 2013
but i don't think i deserve it
so i'll continue saying
"i'm sorry"
because i really am
but instead of forgiveness
i'd accept a knife in my back
because i am
so so so
sorry
don't forgive me
383 · Aug 2013
innocent love
maybella snow Aug 2013
in had a childlike innocence
      i loved you
                    the first thirteen years of my life
  yeah, i did love you mum
            now my innocence
      and free love
                                        has run out, it's gone now
you want my love?
    it's your turn to earn it
                          i'm not giving it to you
          unconditionally
383 · Jul 2013
no return ticket
maybella snow Jul 2013
there's really something
                            quite...
    refreshing
                         about being on a
                  balcony high enough
                                    up
                          that no one
            can see you
                considering
            the
      thought
                                                                       of flying
                                                                                                         far away
       with no
return ticket
383 · Jun 2013
"i love you... goodbye"
maybella snow Jun 2013
you said you love me
you said goodbye

i heard you've fallen further
down that depressing black hole

you never told me
never considered me

i know you're hurt
i know you're not okay

call me selfish but,
i wanted to help you

be your little life raft
now i don't know

you're gone from my view
i cant save you anymore

you need to talk to me
i hope you will finally see

i need to know you're alive
is there any saving you?
maybella snow Aug 2013
20 words


*i sleep; i dream of being held safe by you.
i wake; always alone and craving your warmth and safety.
382 · Jul 2013
you hate you hate you hate
maybella snow Jul 2013
you hate when my eyes glaze over                      
when i wear my blank expression            
you hate when i'm about to cry                            
when i show my weakness                        
you hate when i yell back                                    
you hate when i don't respond                            

what do you want?              
to make my life hell?            

well congratulations
you've succeeded there
382 · Aug 2013
i wonder
maybella snow Aug 2013
is it warmer
or is it colder
1
2
3
4
5
6
                          feet
                                down?
382 · Aug 2013
i'm done//sigh
maybella snow Aug 2013
****//everything hurts//cant breathe//****//help//crying//ugh//no//i love you//ugh
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