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maybella snow Mar 2014
I starved myself
for 45 hours
am I skinny yet?
I covered myself
with cuts so
people would look
deeper than
my skin and
see the real me
am I pretty yet?
sorry it's been so long
403 · Oct 2013
asylum seeking
maybella snow Oct 2013
open that box
you call a heart
and let me
reside
maybella snow Sep 2013
roses are beautiful
though people choose
to ignore the thorns

everything has a beautiful
and harmful side                
it only matters
if you cant see
past the ugly,                                        
hurtful side                              
to see the beauty of it
402 · Aug 2013
covering wounds
maybella snow Aug 2013
i just don't think
that makeup            
is covering          
the bruises                        
or cuts                        
as i wish it
would
maybella snow Jul 2013
10 words
*dying is the easy way out, live for me instead
maybella snow Jul 2013
15 words
*the drops that hit my face felt warmer than my skin; i'm colder than winter
399 · Jul 2013
"i'm in love with you"
maybella snow Jul 2013
5 words
and i can't claim this to be original
it's hardly my own
399 · Aug 2013
you silly girls
maybella snow Aug 2013
stop posting
                pictures/
  videos of
yourself
mostly naked
           or simply
just naked
         how do you
expect anyone
           to respect you?
if you don't
                respect yourself
enough to
keep your
clothes on
in front of
the camera
398 · Jun 2013
his girl / her boy
maybella snow Jun 2013
his girl lays in bed unproductive yet thinking   /      her boy sits at his desk head held
his girl holds her heart, only a little distant      /      her boy knows this he doesn't care
his girl is scared for him, worried for him      /        her boy is falling, fast further away
his girl knows there's nothing she can do    /      her boy doesn't know what to do now
his girl loves him with most of her heart  /     her boy loves her with more of his heart
his girl needs him to hold her tightly     /  her boy needs to hold her safely in his arms
his girl, only wants love from him       /     her boy only ever wants to love her forever
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
                 they are only
                                                                                               one entire
                                            world apart
                                                                                   //
                                                                                         they're both in pain
    no matter what
___________________­_____
maybella snow Jul 2013
i read at the end of books
      acknowledgments
                           and in most of them
there's a thankyou
         directed at their "loving" "supportive" family
how they made their love for writing
    and helped them every way possible
                                                        ­                 i have a cat
                                                                ­         but he doesn't help
                                                            ­             support? i guess so
                but no, my parents and family
    they ridicule me for my writing
   it'll never be worth my effort and time

                            i'm scared that one day
        what their trying to say
             will finally get through to me
                                      i'll realize that my writing isn't worth anything
                                                        ­               it's not worth effort
i don't want that day to come
and no you're not going to be
in my acknowledgments,
my cat might
you wont
397 · Jun 2013
live evil
maybella snow Jun 2013
l                                                                          l

li                                                                        il

liv                                                                   vil

live                                                               evil
                              live evil

   is it possible to live without being evil?
maybella snow Jul 2013
10 words
*******, you're hurting me, and you make it
my fault, always my fault
****
you

i'm done
396 · Aug 2013
tired/exhausted/worn-out
maybella snow Aug 2013
=                                          
some of the things
i feel right now
i have no effort
to live
maybella snow Jul 2013
i am tired              
but its too early to sleep
i am awake          
but my mind isn't          

                                   this isn't a poem
                                                            it's confused thoughts
                                and mild musings

i need human contact
i think thats what it i's
i think thats what i need
                                                            yeah
idek don't ask its really stupid
396 · Jul 2013
be mine, because i'm yours
maybella snow Jul 2013
5 words


i'm falling apart here
will you catch me?
will you see this
pathetic excuse
for a 5 word poem?
maybella snow Jul 2013
gravity                        
reminds me that i'll never
fly                                                            
but its a constant      
and it'll never set out to hurt me            
it means  
that i can put my feet down          
and walk                  
at any time  
because gravity              
holds me there                                    
a never ending embrace        
forever reliable                    
so maybe i can't fly                                                
i'll walk
held in gravity's embrace

*~a beautiful nothing, my something~
maybella snow Sep 2013
and i don't
even know you
very well
but i'm so
worried
about you
i hope,
you're okay
don't hurt
yourself
please
393 · Oct 2013
fly me a kite
maybella snow Oct 2013
tie my heart
get your lies and secure them
make sure they hold it
because my heart
is sure to fly
393 · Oct 2013
what an ugly beauty
maybella snow Oct 2013
grab my heart and tug on it
pull it into the ocean            
no better than the average siren
rip it apart and devour it
tender, young and ******
not like you haven't eaten
other girls hearts before..
392 · Jul 2013
morning darkness
maybella snow Jul 2013
i don't look forward to
        the morning sun
              it only reminds me
     that it's now
                                                   d a r k
               where you are
391 · Sep 2013
going insane woah yeah
maybella snow Sep 2013
i'm seeing things
right                                                                                                            there
              in the corner of my eye
    i'm hearing things
in the timbre of your voice
                yet i have no idea
                         what you're saying
          i think i'm crazy
                    no need to tell me
             but i swear
                                                   i felt you here
                                         just a presence, but yours
it's
         most likely
             just my head
                     playing tricks
                           being weird
                                 hurting me
                                     imagining it
         and its hurting
                   me so much
390 · Oct 2013
"i'm a mess"
maybella snow Oct 2013
empty my insides
into a jar                              
and study                              
what's wrong with me

drill into my skull
to thoughts                                
and find                                
their dark hiding places

rid me of badness      
cleanse me of      
darkness      

****    
me
maybella snow Sep 2013
and your hands are shaking  
because of the blood loss    
maybe this             \ \      
         is a mistake         \ \    
         but it's done now      
along with the      /
cuts and         /  
scars          /    
its                
permanent
388 · Jul 2013
~you (caused my smile)
maybella snow Jul 2013
i have a small list of everything that has made
    me smile, while thinking about you
~your orange blanket
~that half drunken bottle of coke
~your rock collection
~apple sauce in a container
~creaky floor boards
~the jacket you love
~you
~all of you
~your smile
~your frown
~you

those are some
        a small number
of things
that made me
                            smile
thinking about
         you

x
387 · Nov 2013
wishes dont come true
maybella snow Nov 2013
wishing on a star                                        
is useless because                                      
by the time you                                          
see their light                                            
they're dead                                              
they've burnt out                                      
   dont wish on me
its too late already
maybella snow Jun 2013
i'm freaking out                    
shaking                            
     crying                
not breathing                                                          
                                    no one sees this
                                                             they cant see me
dying
                                                          they don't know
                           i'm struggling

that i'm on the                                      
                                                                        edge
                                                                               :
                                                                             :
                                                                           :
                                                                         :
                                                                       :

                                                                                                                    of insanity                      
and am about to                                                              
        f
a
l      
l              

f              
a        
s
    t
                                                                hold me up
                                                                       grab me
                                                                i'm about to
                                                                           jump
                              
involuntarily                                                                  
no                                                                                                    
my mind is  p . u . s . h . i . n . g  me                               over that edge

no one can see it                                                                                                        
through my fake smile and laugh                                                

                                                                but i can't stop myself
                                  from hiding this
i can't

mind control at work                                                                  
i can't escape                                                                                                  
i ' m
f a l l i n g
. . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . . . . .
        . . . . . .
            . . . .
                . .
                 .
      d o w n

c    a    t    c    h        m    e
maybella snow Sep 2013
just hold me
tonight when
blades come out
from their special
hiding places
to let loose
the pain
hold me in the                          
light of morning                      
when scabs have formed        
tears have dried                      
and the emptiness                  
has leaked into                        
my mind                                  
this isn't killing me
slowly,                            
half of my issues
are self provoked
by my twisted mind
as it fights                              
the light of others
don't let me burn you out
with my empty darkness

please
it's okay
if you
leave
386 · Aug 2013
i'm locking down everything
maybella snow Aug 2013
no more letting people know my pain
no more showing weakness                  
no more people will see my tears        
no more anything                                    
i think it's time
for me to stop  
writing poetry
for everyone    
to see                
sorry
386 · Aug 2013
i hurt everywhere
maybella snow Aug 2013
not in a single place
but the general everywhere

call me crazy              
insane              
******              
but i swear
maybe sometimes
you're here
maybella snow Oct 2013
you're older than me
you know its not okay
why'd you let me get attached
then just leave
when you know i'm in pain
why
385 · Aug 2013
a white room in the dark
maybella snow Aug 2013
punch
punch kick
punch kick slam
                                                            the walls are just far enough apart
                                                            that i can't touch them with my arms
                                                            stretched as much as they can
i fling myself at the wall
i know they're white
i've seen them
                             so bright
i had to squint
                                                     but now
                                                i know there's a light
            i can see my hands
                      in front of my face
but it only makes the room
       a dull grey
                                          not the white it once was
               fingernails claw at the walls
                         trying to discover where
                                                          where that faint light
   is coming from
                                    i can't located it
          where's it coming from?
and why isn't it as bright
as before?                                              (..when you were here..)
                     i scream and kick
      bash walls, crash around the
once a comfortable space
                    which had now began to close in
           maybe it was just the low light
but i can't breathe
                                                    it's getting smaller
              i fight harder
where is the light?!
                        where is it?!

punch
punch kick
punch kick slam
punch kick slam fall
                               fall
                               fall
punch.
385 · Aug 2013
take a stab in the dark
maybella snow Aug 2013
i've been stumbling around            
reaching out in all directions
and i can't find you                            
you're not there
there's nothing there
no one there
i miss you                      
please                  
someone
hold me
385 · Jul 2013
dogs chase cats that run
maybella snow Jul 2013
10 words
*my heart escapes my body to be with your heart
maybella snow Jul 2013
its impossible not to think
          that we wont make it through
    everything
                              because we started off
               in the tough stuff
it only made us stronger
                     made us love each other more
      made us more determined to stay
i love you x
          thankyou for saying it back to me

       yeah we're still in the tough stuff
but we're already moving through it
384 · Nov 2013
maybe not so much
maybella snow Nov 2013
its beginning to work    
these locks are holding emotions in
no one knows my thoughts
               its working                    
              im glad                          
maybe i can save people now
maybe i can care                      
stop being selfish
*****
maybella snow Jun 2013
i'm sorry mum, mom, mother, ma, mommy

                    that i'm not like you
i'm sorry
                    that i'm not perfect
i'm sorry
                    that i forget things sometimes
i'm sorry
                    that i have a different social life
i'm sorry    
                   that i'm not what you expected me to be
i'm sorry
                   that you want more than i can give
i'm sorry
                   that i'm creative in different ways
i'm sorry

i'm sorry

i'm sorry
                  that i say i'm sorry so much
i'm sorry



sorry
381 · Aug 2013
don't take it personally
maybella snow Aug 2013
these are all just
my unedited thoughts
381 · Aug 2013
yeah don
maybella snow Aug 2013
sitting uncomfortably in my skin
you tell me i'm not alone in how
i seem to be feeling, with every-
thing  thats going on. i don't   kn-
ow  about  that,  i  feel  alone, so
alone that all i want is him,  back
you tell me never to talk  to  him
because he hurt me,  but he  ma-
de me feel  so  special and loved
no  one  else  has  made  me  feel
that  way,  yet  you  tell  me you'
ll  forever  hate  me  if  i  start  a
conversation  with  him,     only
because  he  hurt  me,  but what
if  he  wants  me  back?  he loves
me,    he  never  stopped  loving
me,    why  wouldn't  i  want  to
talk  to  the  love  of  my life? it's
in  my  nature,  soul, heart, body
to  be  with  someone  who  just
so   happens   to   love  me   with
their everything, as i love   them,
with my  everything  its just  not
fair,    that    you're   allowed   to
complain  about  how  that   guy
you  like  has  ruined  your   life,
because    of   whatever   he  did,
yet i'm  not  allowed to cry once,
or  talk  to my  love   because  of
your views on our   relationship,
how  is  that  fair?  you're  upset-
ing me so much, i bet you didn't
know    that    though    did   you?
maybella snow Jul 2013
i want to upload
your sweet poems on here
the ones you gave me
because people only see
what you put up on your page
and yes thats you
but it's not the you i see
it's the harsh side of you
i would put your poems on            
the nicer, loving ones                      
but half of me                                    
is selfish and doesn't want anyone
to see this side                                  
to see my side of you                      

...it's mine..
and i'll protect you
like a dragon with its treasure
381 · May 2013
stop this nothing
maybella snow May 2013
i want to crush my skull
to stop the nothingness                  
to feel something
even if its pain              
i need it
i need something  
to take my thoughts      
off nothingness                                
the pressure crushes
what's doing this?                  
make it stop
   give me something
pain killers if you will                    
just help

i need          

something                  

anything  

whatever  

just                    

help          

me

stop                

it

...
380 · Jul 2013
seasonal changes
maybella snow Jul 2013
run in the rain with me
dance in the leaves with me
    play in the snow with me
      lay in the grass with me*

  we'd be cute
in all seasons
                                ^_^
379 · Oct 2013
the friendly corner
maybella snow Oct 2013
pain everywhere
what to do with life
backed into a corner
stop feeling anything maybella
hold it all together
                 no one can know
                 no one
           because they all hurt
they’ll all backfire and hurt
they don’t care
and if they do
    it’ll be gone soon
don’t tell them
hide it
hold it in
you’ll be okay soon
its just a little pain
    it’ll be gone soon enough
hopefully
keep dreaming mayb
                 you’ll trip
                 you’ll fall
just, don’t bring anyone with you
       remember that
don’t let it happen
don’t let anyone care
because you’ll care about them
         and we’ll both get hurt
you’re in a corner
stay there
befriend the corner
it cant hurt you
we’ll be okay maybella
but we just have to hold it in
written a while ago but i guess it still applies
379 · Jul 2013
a while but not too long
maybella snow Jul 2013
it has been a while           tick tock
but it hasn't really been that long                      
not compared to other times            

for some reason            
i'm really worried about you            
i have a sinking feeling            
that something's wrong
maybe something happened            
i think something's wrong
i'm worried i know something's wrong
i just need to hear back from you            
i feel there's something wrong
i hope it's nothing too bad            
i wish i could be there            
i would know for sure then            
if something was wrong
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