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Aug 2013 · 425
my strength is mostly gone
maybella snow Aug 2013
not saying i'm weak
                                                but
i really need
someone to hold me
together
because
                                m
                 a
                                                           y
                                           b
                                                                      e
                          l
                                                     l
      a

                                                                                                s
                                                                                                                                        n
                                                                                          o
                                                                                                                       w


i s   n o   l o n g e r
w     h     o     l     e                                                      a t   a l l
Aug 2013 · 1.7k
craving cuddles and kisses
maybella snow Aug 2013
i think, that this addiction
has the worst withdrawals
ever
        they leave you  feeling
        completely empty and
alone
         until you get
          the  next  hit
pain
         is a mental hurdle
          thats  too  high  to
jump
         so, alone and
         empty, you'll
remain
Aug 2013 · 328
~|h|e|l|p|~
maybella snow Aug 2013
:)                                |h|e|l|p|                                                                           why  cant  some  people
|h|e|l|p|                          read between  the lines?
|h|e|l|p|                                                              isn't it obnoxiously        
|h|e|l|p|                                                                                                          obvious  to you?
|h|e|l|p|                            some people ask
|h|e|l|p|                                                                                                                                in plain sight
|h|e|l|p|                                                     |h|e|l|p|                  
and  they don't receive  it
|h|e|l|p|                         maybe they are asking in
|h|e|l|p|                                                                                           the wrong place    
|h|e|l|p|                                                            but they're asking
|h|e|l|p|                                                                       some people just cant                                  
|h|e|l|p|                                                       read between
|h|e|l|p|                                                                                             the lines
|h|e|l|p|                                                
:)
making a point
Aug 2013 · 352
you're a drug; i'm addicted
maybella snow Aug 2013
5 words


*cant get enough of you
maybella snow Aug 2013
all my aches left me
i stopped hurting    
most bad thoughts  
were gone,                                          
to be replaced by                                          
simplicity                                          
and happiness                                          
and i think  
90% of it      
was because
of you                          
thanks.
thank-you
so much
x
Aug 2013 · 279
maybe it's easier
maybella snow Aug 2013
to be pushed down the steps to hell
than climb your way up  to  heaven
Aug 2013 · 267
i fall
maybella snow Aug 2013
for the                                      
broken                            
beaten              
depressed
         poets
                      every
                                 time
10 words including title
Aug 2013 · 342
how? how? how? how? how?
maybella snow Aug 2013
i can't look at pictures of you
       not yet, it hurts too much
yesterday went well
i didn't shake, cry,
break down
                                       today?
all of the above;
i began shaking, crying
                      silent tears
and i broke down
                                                    all because
                                                    i saw you
                                                    all your videos
please, stop hurting me
please, stop please stop
i can't handle this
Aug 2013 · 276
how can a heart get stuck?
maybella snow Aug 2013
because mine          
is definitely              
lodged in my throat
Aug 2013 · 2.2k
"tummy tickles"
maybella snow Aug 2013
you're the kind of person        
who gives me tummy tickles  
making me shy and uncertain
yet                                                            
so happy
i could walk
on stars
or play                          
in the                          
softest cloud                          
you give me
"tummy tickles"
every time
we talk      

hehe                  
*[blushing]
maybella snow Aug 2013
i made it through
one whole day                    
without crying                    
                           a whole day
without crying          
about the utter loss  
i feel, because you're
                   gone, forever, cold
i did it                                
                 now for tomorrow...
maybella snow Aug 2013
but the glorious feeling
          of having
                       no sustainable thoughts
                                    is amazing
everything
                                                             flitters
                          around

pay no attention to the
emotions you were feeling
        white fuzz
cloud
                             covers them with a veil
                nothing matters
Aug 2013 · 659
i really am trying, please
maybella snow Aug 2013
i'm trying so hard
to learn how        
to accept compliments
and actually believe it
i am trying
i really am
but no matter what                    
i just cant seem to grasp                    
why anyone would think                  
i have the ability to be pretty                  
i just
can't
maybella snow Aug 2013
stared through
                        smudged
                          smeared
they're forever
not looked at
instead looked through
                                  do they understand
                                  they're needed?
they keep in warmth
they keep out wind
they keep in cold
they let in wind
                                                they have a purpose:
                                     to be not looked at
                                     instead looked
                                     through
Aug 2013 · 366
i wonder
maybella snow Aug 2013
is it warmer
or is it colder
1
2
3
4
5
6
                          feet
                                down?
maybella snow Aug 2013
the moon                      
personally
i like it more    
in the middle of the day                                  
where it seems to protest                                    
rebel against being the usual                                  
only light at night
no, instead                                                  
it becomes a pale disc                                            
calm in the blue sky                  
basking in sunlight                    
and viewing the world
in a brighter light
than it can create personally                                          

*a beautiful nothing,
my something
Aug 2013 · 390
a white room in the dark
maybella snow Aug 2013
punch
punch kick
punch kick slam
                                                            the walls are just far enough apart
                                                            that i can't touch them with my arms
                                                            stretched as much as they can
i fling myself at the wall
i know they're white
i've seen them
                             so bright
i had to squint
                                                     but now
                                                i know there's a light
            i can see my hands
                      in front of my face
but it only makes the room
       a dull grey
                                          not the white it once was
               fingernails claw at the walls
                         trying to discover where
                                                          where that faint light
   is coming from
                                    i can't located it
          where's it coming from?
and why isn't it as bright
as before?                                              (..when you were here..)
                     i scream and kick
      bash walls, crash around the
once a comfortable space
                    which had now began to close in
           maybe it was just the low light
but i can't breathe
                                                    it's getting smaller
              i fight harder
where is the light?!
                        where is it?!

punch
punch kick
punch kick slam
punch kick slam fall
                               fall
                               fall
punch.
maybella snow Aug 2013
i want someone to love me back  
i want to be the only one they see
in a massive crowed                      
but                                                    
you're the only person
who saw me                  
and as sweet as it was
        as happy as i was
you're gone  
       forever
   ..love x
i still love you
Aug 2013 · 558
receiving three hours sleep
maybella snow Aug 2013
i woke, with no hope                    
instead: determination
to get through the day,
where i                     almost fell back down
but i didn't,                                        
instead with help      
of a former poet's      
skill of writing            
about mourning        
and moving on          
"forgetting"                  
where i realized        
it's okay, if i try          
to forget your death  
and if i do                  
Remember you          
not to be sad              
it's alright if                
forgetting you            
helps me through      
the day, so i tried      
and i have almost      
made it, five more    
hours till midnight    
then, i have made it  
through one day        
without crying          
because of your loss
sorry love,                                                                    
i'm not forgetting your love                                                                    
i'm forgetting you                                                                              
or trying to                                                                                                                    
to save myself                                          
sorry                                          
i love you                        
but in the end
you're dead
i'm not
not yet
"Remember" Christina Rossetti.
maybella snow Aug 2013
how many people bleed
           from self harm
                    and hate?
how much blood falls
          until people
               know the
                    cause?
how many people
       have to die
     until society
           realizes?
                                                 something horrible has gone wrong
                                                 there shouldn't be people bleeding
                                                 blood shouldn't fall from self harm
                                                 people shouldn't die because of it
                                                 how doesn't the world see that this;
                                                 judging people, who don't care at all
                                                 are effecting everyone, even those
                                                 who might not die, bleed, self harm
                                                 it effects the people who know the
                                                 people who are bleeding their lives
                                                 away, it effects people everywhere
                                                 somewhere something went wrong
                                                 so wrong that the effects are death
                                                 blood, hurt, everywhere, mental
                                                 illness, perfection kills people
                                                 just the idea that there is such thing
                                                 as "perfection" is killing people
                                                 there is no such thing as perfection
                                                 it's not possible, so why, why, why
                                                 are people in pain, dying, dead
                                                 because o
f it? it's not right, no
                                                 it's society, and it's ways, it's
                                                 killer ways
Aug 2013 · 442
i can't help being fragile
maybella snow Aug 2013
please be nice                                            
i know i cry too easily          
i know i crack at silly things
but everything hurts  
and nothing takes the pain away                      
it crushes me down  
it weighs so much  
its a constant torment        
and it never eases off
it just gains momentum                              
and i fall      
faster
and faster
and faster
down  and                              
d                    
o              
w        
n  
please catch me                                        
and be gentle                            
sorry for asking for this                                                
i'm not usually this fragile                                                
but the pressure
caused by this
ordeal (death)                
is forcing        
my glass cage            
to crack                    
and crumble      
please                                                      
be nice?                                            
i'm hurting                                                                            
please be nice
and hold me        
keep me together
please
keep all the pieces
that crack and fall
away                                                                                              
don't loose the                              
puzzle pieces that                        
create my whole                          
because i'm not usually
this        b R ok E    N                                                  
i ask a favor  
be my glue?  
hold me safe?
..please?..
Aug 2013 · 502
"i'm sorry for your loss"
maybella snow Aug 2013
it broke my heart
that he died
he's gone
my love
is gone
but please                    
i'm trying to cope                  
and that means                  
although people might
dissagree with my methods
but i'm trying really hard
not to think                          
about the emptiness
that was filled by him
it's cold
and i find myself shaking
but please                
let me try and forget
it's not that i don't like people
saying this                                    
if they really are sorry      
about my loss        
it just hurts
more every time
maybella snow Aug 2013
\/                       \/  
/      \                   /      \  
|/             \             /            \|  
/|                  \ _ /                 |\  
|                    /  \                 |  
\|                                            |/  
|\                                        /|  
\                              /  
\                   /  
\          /  
\ /  
/\  

maybe this symbol means
nothing to you now
but it meant enough
for you to carve it
into your skin
with my initials
without my knowing
Aug 2013 · 334
tell me lies
maybella snow Aug 2013
tell me it's                    
all going          
to be
         okay
even though
we both                
know it                            
wont be,                
tell me
           lies
Aug 2013 · 592
i'm so clumsy
maybella snow Aug 2013
i hope i trip on the street,
fall face first into a puddle
and drown
i hope i lean too far out a window
loose my balance while closing it
and fall
maybe i'll die by mistake                    
i'm just so clumsy            
it just might happen
maybella snow Aug 2013
10 words


*everyone effects someone's life, i don't wanna mess anyone up
Aug 2013 · 1.1k
[self destruction]
maybella snow Aug 2013
queue wrecking ball
              [building falls]
queue clean up crew
                    [swept up]
                 [taken away]
nothing remains
                                               *(i wish)
Aug 2013 · 328
less alone with a storm
maybella snow Aug 2013
thunder encompasses my body
lightning shows my deformed being
                          broken and cold
the storm holds me
cold as it may be
                   it continues to hold me safe
                                                                                   while some people are frightened
                                                                               the power of the storm
                                                                                                has no meaning to me
                                                                                        it can't lie to anything
                                                                                        it can't break me more than i am
                                                                       so i let it overwhelm me
                                                                                                           and i finally feel okay
Aug 2013 · 1.4k
an affair with storms
maybella snow Aug 2013
caressing my face              
soft droplets                        
of ice cold water          
combines with the              
heated tears that fell                                                  
from my eyes                                                            
replacing my heartbeat
with regular claps          
of thunder      
lightning finds a way                                              
to brighten up a sun-less                                                            
sky of heavy clouds                                                    
the wind finds ways          
to surround me                        
flicking my hair                
around my face                            
clouds cover me  
thunder replaces my heart  
lightning brightens my eyes
eyes that once fell hot tears  
now ice water                        
covers my entire form
as the wind takes me away
with its touch
Aug 2013 · 611
i like angry music
maybella snow Aug 2013
there's something about
listening to angry music    
the way the artist expresses it    
and the fact that they had the amount
of passion to express such an angry song
makes me feel as though, everyone gets angry
so it's okay if i like their angry music
to express my anger by singing it
Aug 2013 · 285
sometimes i try
maybella snow Aug 2013
yeah i know i seem like a mean person sometimes
  but i swear, thats only when/
                                                     if someone hurts me
and i don't really know you
   yet i'm worried about you
                                  sometimes this is my downfall
           because i care about people
that will leave and not care about me
                            but i just cant help it
                                   i try to keep a                                                                  distance
but it never really works
        i.get.too.close.anyway
                                                              please don't hurt me
                                                                            i get hurt too easily
                                          through my fake thick skin
                                                                                  i hurt more often than not
maybella snow Aug 2013
10 words


*how could you go die on me? i love you
maybella snow Aug 2013
i had a dream
that you were here
holding me safe
in this dream
i wanted to talk to you
so i was simply going to open
my eyes, and talk to you
i woke                                                             ­                         
i opened my eyes                                                             ­      
and instead of you holding me                                            
the reality of your absence                                                     
weig­hed down                                                             ­           
because i was awake                                                            ­  
and you slept                                                            ­              
six feet down                                                             ­             
never to wake again                                                            ­  
this is why i don't sleep
because i'll wake up alone
the nightmares of your death
used to keep me awake
now the dreams of your life
makes me not want to sleep
because i want to sleep forever
six feet down
held safe in your arms
never to wake again
Aug 2013 · 389
take a stab in the dark
maybella snow Aug 2013
i've been stumbling around            
reaching out in all directions
and i can't find you                            
you're not there
there's nothing there
no one there
i miss you                      
please                  
someone
hold me
maybella snow Aug 2013
i'm sick of being the girl
who's invisible behind glass walls
                 you saw something in me
- or maybe you lied about that too -
               but the look
that i was something
that i had a worth to you
             - though that was a lie also -
made me feel like i did have something
that might be desirable
made me feel like it was okay
maybe someone could love me
even if i don't love myself
but then again
                                         it was all lies
                                         so i really am nothing
Aug 2013 · 477
lie to me sweetly
maybella snow Aug 2013
hold me tightly                                        
and dream about someone else                                                                            
whisper sweet nothings to me                                                  
picturing another face                                  
you can lie to me,                      
be unfaithful        
but hold me at night                                                                    
and make me feel alright                                                              
i'll fall for you
but its okay                    
if you never fall for me
i'm nothing to fall for anyway                          
but please                                                                                        
just make me feel                                                                    
as though                                                                              
maybe there's a reason                                                                                  
for me to live                                                                          
tell me sweet lies        
whisper fake affection
dream of another        
but hold                        
*me
Aug 2013 · 275
will the lies ever end?
maybella snow Aug 2013
5 words


*will i know the truth?
Aug 2013 · 263
[blood falls/drips]
maybella snow Aug 2013
how much          
until there's            
no more      
left?

how much        
until i die?
Aug 2013 · 402
tired/exhausted/worn-out
maybella snow Aug 2013
=                                          
some of the things
i feel right now
i have no effort
to live
Aug 2013 · 381
aching everywhere
maybella snow Aug 2013
everything hurts
           my backbone is constantly struggling to keep me upright
        my head is always hanging
     my heart
                         well that's broken. shattered is a better word actually
           my everything
                  everything is being subtle
more than everything hurts
                                         but i cant think of a word
                                            that describes it
better than everything
                                         because my
                    everything
hurts
          aches
           ­        everywhere
                                                                ­      and sometimes i think
                                                           ­      that maybe
                                                           ­                 a hug could help
                                                            ­                                 why can't anyone tell
                                                      i just
                                                                ­   need
                                                          ­                              to be held safe
                                                            ­                 because i feel broken
                                                          ­     please
                                                          ­                         hold me together
Aug 2013 · 409
i just feel so sad
maybella snow Aug 2013
i've no effort                                            
i just want to sleep                                                
but the world    
or everything    
and everything
disagrees,                                
protests                              
and it seems
only tears                                                    
or just crying                                                          
tires me out                                                  
exhausts me                                              
just enough                                                          
for me to fall
into a subconscious
sleep or
maybe sleep
- might be
sleep -
but it's just                              
not     e n o u g h                                
to sustain me                        
and it has
resulted in
self formed                                                            
sadness                                                                      
that unfortunately                                                
results in blood                                                
all    t o o    much                                                                
i'm too sad
i cry myself
to half — maybe
— sleep
maybella snow Aug 2013
10 words


*i cry myself to exhaustion, but i don't sleep well
any ideas on how to get a good night sleep? tried mostly everything. sigh.
maybella snow Aug 2013
5 words



sorry poetry isn't a result of this
Aug 2013 · 448
the world is heavy
maybella snow Aug 2013
where are you?
                you were always there to help
      you lifted it when i was weak
     i lifted it when you were weak
now you're gone
             and i need your help
  the world is too heavy
                    to lift off of me this time
      and you're not here to help
            i'm wondering how you're coping
  with me not there to help you
       probably better than me
                     this time, it's too heavy
   i can't lift it off now
Aug 2013 · 296
oh how times change
maybella snow Aug 2013
they always do
they always will
there's no holding the past
it's gone too quick
memories are all just
that, memories
Aug 2013 · 575
sigh and i still love you
maybella snow Aug 2013
i'm fighting an internal war
and it seems          
love                                 is winning
though i don't want it to
hate its forcing its way without progress
let me hate you please
you hurt me                            
please
let me hate you
it'll be easier
for both of us
please                                
please                                
please                                
i just
want
to
hate
you
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