you threw me
across the room
and yelled at me
immediately pain
was felt on my back
and sides of my waist
you picked me up
and threw me again
my head hit the gray wall
i put my hand to the back
of my head
after a few minutes
i withdrew my hand
it was covered in rich red blood
i had a sickening feeling
in my stomach
and i felt like throwing up
why do you have to be
so mean to me, Mom
especially when i love you
and you treat me terribly?
what did i do wrong?

I need to stop thinking in fantasy
and stop with the books
they provide an escape
to a different reality
where everything is better and good
but it's only for a short time

Then..
I come back to my own reality
and cannot face it

The problems,
my dreams, which will never come true
they just become snow
and stay there forever
and it starts to get cold
and hurtful

I cannot keep living in fantasy
it starts to hurt
but fantasy is the only true
escape,

*its the only highway
that starts where ever you want
and goes where ever you want

the smile
that i daily try
to plaster on my face
isn't genuine
it's done out of pain
i force myself
to appear to others
like everything's okay
even when it's not

i have been feeling depressed
these last few days
i don't know what to do
because i'm drowning in sorrow
my days of happiness are forever gone
i don't know what to do
the light has vanished
from my slanted eyes
i'm sinking further into depression
i can feel it nearly choking me
i have a sickening feeling
in the pit of my stomach
i am feeling so very depressed
these days and i can't take it no more
i'm literally trapped inside of depression
and i cannot find my way out again
help me someone help me please
i don't know what to do
i'm drowning in depression
and heartache
help me
or will this be
my final goodbye?