"because i hate myself"
"how can you hate yourself so much though?!"
"i just do"
i know its difficult to understand
but i thought this through
and i've figured a way to describe what its like
i hope maybe you'll understand
a little maybe.
imagine you're angry with someone
they've maybe broken something special to you
or forgotten to do something and it ended in disaster
well, you're angry with them, so frustrated and angry
and you have built up rage, muscles tense and you know
you cant hurt them, because thats bad, and you'll feel worse
but the person you're angry with
is you.
its like there's two of me
the me that is a body
just simple and does what its told
then there's my head
my mind
my mind gets frustrated with my body
so very angry
my mind punishes my body
for not being perfect enough
for not doing something perfect
for forgetting or not doing it good enough
imagine that
over every
tiny* little thing
of course i hurt myself
its how i learn
to be perfect
i'm working on it
but i'm still angry
with my body
for not performing
good enough