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maybella snow Oct 2013
telling you.
asking for help.
pushing you away.
maybella snow Oct 2013
and i think that's a good thing
because i don't want anyone
to know what this pain is
so i know you don't
understand and i
am glad of that
accept it
maybella snow Oct 2013
when your body spasms
           you force back screams
the pain is inside
smashing your hand
          into your head
to make thoughts stop
to focus the pain
somewhere else
               clawing at skin
trying to stop that pain
                   internal pain
                       that echoes your head
          and radiates down your spine
     its an addiction
    to change internal pain
into external
                             so i can sleep at night
                                       dream (nightmare) free
maybella snow Oct 2013
nothing poetic
or gracefull
about it
maybella snow Oct 2013
i'm more ****** up than I thought
this ******* urge to cut won't leave me
alone, I'm lying in bed shuddering
twitching and spasming  
night one, and I know
I'm not strong enough
to last, it hurts
maybella snow Oct 2013
why are there people who believe its "poetic" to self harm
it frightens me that there are teenagers who are doing this
to themselves, they're self harming because they think it
is "darkly beautiful" or "sadly romantic" there is nothing
beautiful about the scars covering my skin there is nothing
romantic about being terrified someone, anyone, might see
them, these lines of weakness, that i've placed there myself
it's an addiction, a sick way i clean my head, because
the thoughts jumble up, thoughts of; missing, emptiness,
time, space, names, locations, people, dates, stories, sadness
wrongness, hurt, longing, hate, self loathing, destructiveness
i am no where near proud i fell this deep into a hole this dark
i'm scared of being close to people, i shut myself away,
starving myself to reach "perfection"
because maybe if i am skinny enough to be considered "perfect"
then people wont care, wont notice the pink and purple lines
covering my form. no. there is nothing poetic about sadness
nothing. so stop convincing yourself you want to be a sad
lonely, scared, self destructive "poet"
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