you told me
our daughter
(because you always wanted
kids) would be
named after me
and she would
be beautiful
"just like her mother"
and i imagined
you grinning
like the proudest man
as you held her
before kissing me
and reminding me
you loved me
with all your heart
forever
i imagined the
pregnancy
(i never was the dolly type
and was never clucky before)
but you'd hold me
and kiss my belly
each night
and tell me
you'd love me
forever
instead
sadness caught you
in it's clutches
soon followed
by suicide
and you told me
you'd love me
forever
I noticed tears
were falling
half way through
writing this
I miss him
so much