if i          
i could 
i would
[teleports]
to you

nothing i do
is calming me down
like every time
i talk to you
you have an effect on me                                      
where i immediately feel so                  
much better                                                    
a ball of                                    
nervous energy                        
buzzing and shaking          
i'm waiting
waiting
waiting
always waiting
for you to be here
to simply talk to me
just that                                                
talking to me                                                
well you mostly singing
and me sitting
we don't exactly talk
we exist                    
together

i think, that                                      
is what calms me                                      
a sense that
maybe i'll be
whole again
maybe
*???

i'm ready to
bash my head
against a wall

i'm about to
cut my wrists
with a blade

i just want
my death to be
sooner rather
than later