maybella snow

maybella snow Aug 2013

i wrote in sharpie over the scars on my legs:

love isn't
forever
death is -

- sometimes
i want to
die -

maybella snow Aug 2013

neither yes
nor no
a hope
it could be either
or nothing.
maybe,
maybe
this word
only means
something
to my
hopeless mind
maybe i'll be okay
maybe i'll finally give in
maybe you love me
enough to comment
a "maybe yes"
...maybe not

in response to Kestrel, Poetic Challenge

maybella snow Aug 2013

only three slightly poetic words came to my mind today

i miss you
x x x x x

maybella snow Aug 2013

your fault

you died
i tried to
i wish i did
dying is easier
than this pain
of living

maybella snow Aug 2013

i'm trying to get you out of my head

crushing my head
between my hands
to squish my thoughts
of you, i'm trying
to get you out, get out
out
out
out
out
out
out
out
out
out
o u t
o u t
get out
get out
get out
of my head
get the **** out
get out
get out
get out **get out
get out
out out out ou tou tou tout out otu toutou tout tou otu tou get out GET OUT GET OUT
******* GET OUT OF MY FUCING HEAD
****
GET
OUT
I CANT
HANDLE THIS
GET
THE
****
OUT
OF
MY
HEAD

maybella snow Aug 2013

i don't want to be here

here: living with you
here: living at all
here: in this body
here: in this head
here:
alive

maybella snow Aug 2013

my apologies:

for being weak and needy
for needing you to hold me
for running because i'm scared
for never saying anything right
for always pestering you
for not trying hard enough
for not being good enough
for not believing your complements
for feeling down most of the time
for being effected by your moods
for letting your moods effect me
for not being impressive enough
for not being old or matured enough
for apologizing so many times
for writing a bad excuses for a poem
for living

forgive me
for living
please
                                       i don't want to live
                                           but i'm not dead
                                                     forgive me
for not dying
when i tried to