I think I wanted to prove you could be loved and you're worth that love
I think you wanted to prove no one ever loved and no one could love you enough
Now I wonder
Did I love you or am I just a sore loser?

I read of love I don't know,
Or thought I wouldnt
But when I read it
I still think of you
I compare everything to you
You're the only one that still strikes an emotion in me
Like these fictitious realities
You're just a vague memory
But sometimes all I see
You never had to be alone
But you gave me no choice but to go
It's been almost a year
And almost every day I think of you as if you're still here
In my life
But you're still just in my mind
Maybe you always only were
I think we both know you weren't actually there for me at all
Somehow part of me still doesn't mind
Hoping to see you atleast one last time
You're not the forgettable kind

Surprisingly that's the most difficult thing about you
Even after all you put me through
I find myself waiting

Somethings I wish I could forget. If I can't go back in time and stop it from happening I should atleast find a way...
To stop myself from remembering.
I never told anyone of this pain.

I was simply a kid who didn't know. I didn't know the rules of world. Or understand the monsters in it. Cause and effect were not something my mind fully grasped.

But I'm starting to understand all to well how one thing can spawn another. Incident to incident.  The events I didn't see and how they led to me. Taking shelter in the young empty slots of my mind. All the things I'd one day have to remember.

Now I wonder. Who else knows what it's like. To have an innocent know about it too. All it would take is confession and my fears and secrets could be on the ears of everyone.

That someone has the ability to shatter my world. My walls would crumble. Such a delicate web of events in my past... And unlucky for me I wasn't the spider. Just the fly the spider didn't notice was stuck too.

This probably won't make much sense. And I can't make it clear you see, because then I can't take it back. And I intend to have it burried in my grave. If I can stay sane enough to keep quiet.

Does it matter if you miss me
Should it
It would be nice if you did
Id be angry if you didnt
But if we are honest
You dont so much as remember me

I knew before I knew

I knew I had to know

I have to know you

Its so true

I don’t know you but

Oh I have to

yeah I want to have you



Do you remember

You were right beside me

I didn’t see you

But now I need to

Because I felt you



Summer holds no warmth

Winter is just a ***** white

There’s nothing pure without you

I don’t know happy

Without you next to me


I knew before I knew

I knew I had to know

I have to know you

I never saw a smile like that

I never knew truth

Until I felt you



It wasn’t physical no

Human hands don’t touch feathers

What if you never flew again

My existence is basic sin



But how i want to know you

To know how you were

Right beside me

Smiling

I want to know

How I see you

How I see you now

How did I ever notice anything else



Spring is just a month

In between the moments before

You’re away from me



Do you remember that fall

You were next to me

How did you not see

My eyes on you

I just wanted to know you

No

I wanted you



I wanted to know

Know your dreams

And everything

You think about

In between

The seconds you give me



And knowing what I know

Wondering what I don’t

It taunts me

Keeps me up late

Keeps me awake

I know I need to know

I have to

Are you awake

Wanting too?