give me some kind of proof
that you were real
that we really happened
it feels so long ago
it was
it feels like you’re dead
you’ve died
you’re missing
i often wonder
where the **** did you go
then i remember
you’re gone
you might wonder why i grieved so hard
the last i had spoke to you
there was a chance you’d die
alone
in that dumb ******* car
in that dumb ******* park
alone
i didn’t want that
after the call
it had felt like you had died
that’s why i grieved so hard
seeing you now
feels like i’m seeing a ghost

are you?
give me some kind of proof
that you were real

you will not prevent me from growing;

you were beautiful at first,
you had so much potential,
i had so much hope,
english ivy,
until you started to suffocate my walls
but i was to blinded by the beauty of your green leaves
i let it get out of control

once you had been removed,
i finally noticed the cracks in my walls,
how battered i had been left

i am a garden
i need to grow
so im pulling out the vines and weeds,
setting new rules,
planting new seeds

If all he does is smile at you—
run,

Doesn't leaving me mean a little less if you left my life
But never loved to begin with?
You never loved to begin with
You never loved me

Alfredo sauce
chicken bean soup

i am not built to last
i am built to live
built for walking in the middle of the road
showered with streetlamp rays
built for dying on bathroom floors
i live for feeling skin to skin
i live for sleeping in while the world moves on without me
i am going to give a lifetimes worth of love
in about a fifth of the human lifespan
my impact on this world revolves around a ticking clock
i am merely a marker
a guardian angel

i trusted you
thought you were different
told you about everyone who’s
hurt me
but you’re right up there
standing ******* proudly with them

i bled out for you
spilled my ******* guts

If your seeing this,
*******
i miss you

you told me to bring you along
then i remembered it was only just a song-
listening to it now feels like
peppers in my eyes-
i wish when i saw you
i’d just go ******* blind
forever isn’t a life time but maybe more of a dream—
you left me a mess, when you left,
a mess i had to clean
you were a tornado dashing through
my mind
i’m tired of it this time

i wanna get better, it’s time to get better
i knew it was different,
when you fell i kept cheering
but when i messed up,
you walked away, you shut me out,
all **** day and you gave up
don’t rage at me for shooting yourself
you pulled the trigger, you had the ***
you said you were ******* done

i wanna get better, it’s time to get better
i’m tired of this *******
tornado weather
i’m drunk in the dark
alone, on the ground at a park
how the hell
did we get
a million miles apart

forever isn’t a life time, but more of a dream

Drive by my house and look me in the eyes
tell me that it was worth it
through all the lies, those burnt up ties, swallowed by flies, memories of me caressing your thighs oh i’m done with the lies no i’m done with the lies god i’m done with the lies all those lies all the time!


i knew it was different,
when i kept cheering
but
you walked away
and you closed your eyes

We both shattered stars, we crushed the moons to hearts
my minds racing, i don’t see you here
try listening for your heartbeat but there’s nothing to hear
you said it was gone, for thousands of years so why did i keep trying to find something under the rubble and wasting my time

sitting in the dark
shifting through the stars
wondering where you are,
it was bad from the start
maybe we’re destined to be apart

i told you in another life
forever isn’t a life time,
but more so, only a dream

please stop holding my hand
and give me a reason to go

i’d say show me a reason to stay
but that was my last hope

I know you can't see it
while the world is gray,
But hold my hand,
Don't let go
Everything, my love, will be okay,
We'll see better days,
The gray will fade,
I'm with you,
I'll lead you through the fog,
I've got you,
I'm here right by your side

can i ever be forgiven cause i killed that kid?
it was an accident
i swear it wasn’t meant for him

we both shattered the moons and stars,
i can’t see you anywhere
it was an apocalypse from the start,
i wish i could say i’ll meet you at mars
but the airs too polluted
from us driving our cars,
so maybe instead
in the future i’ll see you at walmart,
maybe at a few bars.

i know we’ll meet again one day
it’s written in the disfigured stars
but somehow despite the distance
you don’t feel that far

The Moon is beautiful
only when the mind is seeking
beauty and the heart is loving.
Stay wild, moon child.
The wisdom of the Moon
is greater than
the wisdom of the Earth
because the Moon sees the universe
better than the Earth can see it.
There is something haunting
in the light of the Moon.

you literally lead me on
and had the audacity to tell me to move on

maybe it was easy for you
but i’m still heartbroken
wrapping my head around
our entire year together down the drain

i dont want to think of you when it rains
don’t ruin that for me too

the sunset is beautiful,
isn’t it?

i wish there wasn’t bad blood
i’m tired
i can’t help but to miss you
and what we used to be
i know that it’s selfish of me
i’ve tried so hard to force the thoughts out
but once i’m alone
my heart breaks all over again
i’m content where i’m standing
but i’m still hung up on
what if’s

This is one for the standing trees
Staying put so that life can breathe, but
When we take more than what we need,
it isn’t fair

We are here we are alive
On this earth,
Made to do more than survive
It’s our turn

i realized i am loved
and im being selfish
being selfish comes in so many different forms
im tired of dwelling
there’s light behind these black out curtains
today i realized that all i have to do is push the curtains aside and let in the warmth and light
no more sobbing in a cold black out box
there’s so much more to life

Ain't nobody gon' tie your shoe
Nobody gon' abide by your rule

see i knew it was different
when you fell and i kept cheering
but when i fell,
you kept walking
you turned around and averted your eyes
but when you fell i helped you up
despite the painful screams i still tried
but when i was hurting
you went inside
you went to hide

i knew we weren’t the same
when a pen dropped and you’d run
but i’d go find the sound
and pick the pen up

you left a mess
and i cleaned up

i’m not on a high horse
i’m simply better
than you, at least
because i learn
because i try
because i’m not afraid of the unknown
and i push away my pride
you’re a pig
i’ll say it, i admit
you’re the worse thing that ever happened to me
but thank you,
cause i learned from it

And as the sun went down
We ended up on the ground
I heard the train shake the windows
You screamed over the sound
And as we own this night
I put your body to the test with mine
This love was out of control
3, 2, 1, where did it go?

If I were you, I'd put that away
See, you're just wasted and thinking about the past again
Darling, you'll be okay
And he said
"If you were me, you'd do the same
'Cause I can't take anymore
I'll draw the shades and close the door
Everything's not alright and I would rather"

This love was out of control
Tell me, where did it go?

Nobody can mute me, but I never said nobody can't shoot me

if you feel like I do right now
Don't say you're on the run to the other side
My love
You say you wanna try
But you never do
Sugar, there's a reason why we lose
Baby come on
You say you wanna try but you never do

we were weak
all of us were fragile
that’s why we broke
no strong foundation
only pretend
if killing yourself would have made me happy
i wouldn’t have phoned a friend

baby, you will find someone
the right one, someday
but for now, take this time as a gift

i hate hearing past memories
from your old peers
of you and your buddies
wronging the ones who
simply wanted love
because you thought it was fun
you all make me sick
knowing what you’ve all done
was hurting them fun?
ridiculous,
you’re a hypocrite
it’s sad
to see you trying to get with a little kid
stay away from him
you, them
y’all are bad people
he deserves better
she deserved better

maybe you were right
we were hardly friends to begin with
i don’t know you
i never did
to think i was dancing with a poser
a fake with a mask
for an entire year

i hope you’re better know
but you’ll never be forgiven
for what you did

even when i’m close to you
you feel so far away
and even when you’re in my arms
you can’t promise that you’ll stay
so i’m sorry for the “heartache”
but i’ll have to let you go
my fragile heart can’t handle this
that’s all i need to know
maybe you were trying
more than i thought
maybe we can try again
but gods i truly hope not

i felt so helpless
he grabbed me and i went still
i left
i didn’t leave
but something in my mind did
i left
i couldn’t move
i could have but i didn’t
i felt trapped
i didn’t move
why didn’t i move

i wish my mind would wonder
away from the thought of
your soft thighs,
lips pressed against mine,
i want every bit of your time,
i want to remind you
of the first time
you felt my tongue against you,
if only you had read all the stories i wrote on your skin with my lips

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly
I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because when I think of you
I don't feel so alone

as long as you rest in my arms
i’ve got you
rest
close your eyes
listen to the wind
the howling skies
just a bad day
tomorrow is new
we’ve made it this far, right?

i’ve got you

you can change what you do
        you can’t change what you want

Its okay to not feel okay
Its okay to want a little space
I promise throughout those days
I'll be waiting for you

A lump in my throat
Glueing closed my tear ducts
Don't cry don't cry
You have no valid reason
Oh you're stressed?
**** it up life is stressful

hey,
im getting better

cant pretend that i was perfect,
leavin you in fear