Exquisite torments,
Her body, voice, my leaving—
Freedom above all.

You're so brave.
You say all of the things to me
that I've always wished I could say to you.
Somehow your kisses mean more than mine ever could
they're holding the remnants of your honeyed words.
And every time I see you I want to tell you the truth
I want to say it when we're leaving the train station, walking down the block, grabbing coffee, kissing by our elementary school.
And every time I see you, you steal my words away
So I'll make jokes, talk fast, run away, dart around all of the things I've ever wanted to do.
I can't imagine why you keep me around, always choking at the last moment
"I love, being with you"
"I love, the way your breath feels on my skin"
"I love, how you manage to hold me, even when I'm walking away"
And I do love all of those things. All of these moments with you,
moments that will be gone before they've begun.

And, my dear, my one, my only, my sun, my sweetie, my all
Those moments with you are what make it at once
so easy and so hard
to love you this much.

Savages

The sting of your words concentrated
at my left temple,
As cold as a barrel
awaiting the blow.
These wounds have torn me apart.
So many hands have
Snatched away my substance until
all I am reduced to is bone.
Savages,
cave dwellers,
ready to run like a cannibal
With my heart
in your hands.

How can I go on aiming my arrows in midair?
Hitting nothing,
going nowhere,
relentless but hopeless.

My identity is formed in your merciless hands
and ignorant eyes
which see beyond the petty and toxic names
you throw at me.

Didn’t I coax your wounds?
Wasn’t I there?
Didn’t I let you lay your head on my lap,
and tickled your back?
But now I realize you eat your two helpings
of manipulation and a vindictive
Side, cleaning the plate.
And with your belly full
you are fully aware
of how to trap me.

Why did I even tell you my past?
Expose my vulnerabilities?
I wanted to share so much,
I knew it would last.
But if trust is thrown around
like a grenade in the summer wind,
It will blow in my direction.
Annihilate trust for good, rip apart my soul.

You are uncivilized
While I am civilized
You are unpolished and ferocious
While I am polished and kind.
You are a savage
And I am an angel.
And one day you will be reduced to the filth
you walk on
While I will ascend to the sky
you will never see…

Kena SunGoddess Dawn 2010

I wish you would take me and make me your own
and I wish you and I could run away together
to our own tiny, unknown paradise
a land to call our own and a love to call perfect
me and you, two teenage **** ups with
nothing left but each other
you and me, though young and foolish,
perfect for each other
but our love was always under the weather
we were never going to be perfect
'cause you were never going to be in love
with a shy sad girl who you little acknowledge
but I love you with all of my heart
and I really hope you see that
you blank me out like I am nothing because
that's the honest truth
I really am a nobody to you
but I love you
and that's all that counts
and I hope when you're alone
and you have no one else to think about
I cross your mind
from time to time
and I hope you smile slightly

Each night I think I might write again,
and sometimes I even try,
but words never seem to want to come when forced,
and if forced they are often a lie.
I write when my mind forces me,
pushes me until the thoughts become words,
and feel that I will go mad if not written,
so that it must somehow be heard.
This is my quiet voice,
the one that I don’t often use,
it tells people the secrets of my true thoughts,
without the masks or the color hues.
My inner voice has many thoughts,
so many that writing them down makes my hands sore,
but write on and on I must,
or I feel insanity will unleash its evil core.
Mayhap I have already gone mad,
my hands not fast enough to save me,
maybe I only type these poems silently,
asking for a small grasp of insanity.
-NMY 20130613.014312

A silence with you
Is not
a silence

But a moment rich
with peace