Sometimes I feel
like good things
are hardest to find.
I think that’s truest for

                                                love
Wh­o knows why
love is so hard to
find, at least, for
me. The thing

                                                 is
other people seem
to find it easily.
I question what
I must do to find

                                                  a
lo­ver. Will I ever
find someone to
love this fractured
body and mind?
That’s why I’ve

                                                 hidden
myself, my true
identity, inside folds
of consciousness
and fear, inside the

                                                 thing
called anxiety,
that keeps me
from truly pursuing
that ever evasive
Love.

my brain
and all its
noise sounds
just like

                               thunderstorms
It’s dark
and cold
just like it
feels when a

                                cloud
covers the sun.
I try to turn on
the light, my
happiness, but

                                 my
mind is out
of batteries,
and can’t
power the light.
Dark is easy,
at least, that’s
what my

                                 thoughts
say to me.
Darkness
takes no
effort at all

these days
darkness is
the only thing
in my head
sometimes

                                        I’ll
try to be a
positive force,
but it doesn’t
really work well.
If there was
a good way, I’d

                                         gladly
take a quick
exit. If I got
to come back.
I’ve always
said that I’d

                                          welcome
a chance to
fake death,
because I’ve
always wondered

                                          the
things people
would say.
Dead is dead,
unfortunately,
and there’s no
way out of that

                                           abyss.

I don’t pretend
to fully understand
the things inside your head.

                                                       I only
wish I could have
tried a little bit
harder. You left,
and now all I

                                                       want
is to get you
back from the
abyss, but the
end is the end.
I can’t find a way

                                                       to
cope with the
sudden emptiness
in my heart, which
was already
struggling hard to

                                                       hold
itself together.
When you were
alive, that was
easier, but now
you’re gone and
I simply miss

                                                       you

People who do
horrible things
go to prison, get
put in cells,

                                        I’m
just wondering
what I did to
get put in the
cage that is
my mind,

                                        trapped
in an endless
cycle, a washing
machine of pain
and hurt tumbling

                                        inside
my head. I
don’t believe
that I’ve done
anything wrong, but

                                        my
prison suggests
otherwise, and
so do the voices
residing inside my

                                        head

I told myself
that I’d never
do this. Least
of all to

                                         you
but I did it.
It may be
stupid and
selfish as they
say, but they

                                        couldn’t
understand quite
how it feels to
be me. This
tangled mess that
can’t quite seem to

                                        hold
itself together.
I ended that
tangled mess, and
I’m sorry. I truly
hope you’ll forgive

                                         me
for what I’ve
chosen to do, to
you and others
I love. I’m sorry
that you won’t
be able to bring me

                                          back.

all my life
I’d been seeking
solace and peace,
I finally found it in

                                             you
You were my first.
One day, we were
talking, and I finally
asked you out. That
was the first chance
I had where I

                                             could
see what love
could do to me.
We’d hold hands
and kiss, and
I believed that
I could finally

                                             have
peace. The peace
my brain had
insisted I could
never had. Anxiety

                                             told
me that peace was
not possible. But,
when you came, it
was possible. Until
you decided to let

                                             me
go. After leaving me,
you chose death.