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martin Dec 2013
His outburst left her flattered alright
They still kind of get along
She still calls by quite often at night
Even after he told her his feelings were strong

She had to say your chow mein's very nice
And you've not done anything wrong
But for me you will never be Mr Right
I'm terribly sorry Mr Wong
martin Apr 2013
There she goes, my old flame
Her kids have grown, all left home
She still looks the same

Is it fanciful to claim
After all this time
In her heart a tiny part remains
That is forever mine?
martin Feb 2013
My old man's a dustman
He's in the pub today
He'd be there all the bloomin' time
If he had his way

My old man's a dustman
He don't give it's all take
He plays his banjo late at night
And keeps us all awake

My old man's a dustman
He loves his missus so
He wouldn't swap her for the world
I think she'd swap him though

My old man's a dustman
He once met the Queen
He kept his hands behind his back
'Cos they weren't very clean

My old man's a dustman
He's really quite a card
Friday night he'll take you on
If you think you're 'ard

My old man's a dustman
He knows my Auntie Jean
Every time she sees him
She does a little scream

My old man's a dustman
Making no mistake
When he finally pops his clogs
There'll be quite a wake
Pastiche, Lonnie Donegan's, My old man's a dustman.
martin Jul 2013
"Aren't you going to write something today martin?"
-No shut up-
"You really ought to you know."
-Why? I don't have to write something every day. Anyway, who are you?-
"I'm your muse."
-Well it's your job then. Come on, 'a'muse me ha ha.  I'm waiting. Cough up or shut up.-

"Don't you think you're being slightly unreasonable? As your muse I can give you an idea but you have to run with it. I don't present it as a fait accompli do I?   So now, how about a limerick?"
-Go on then-
"What do you mean go on then? What's on your mind today?  The sea, the stars, the sky, outer space?"
-Just you at the moment muse.  Ok, just listen to this then leave me alone.-

                   My useless excuse for a muse
                   Is hardly the one I would choose
                   He isn't much cop
                   He argues a lot
                   And when asked to perform will refuse

"Mmm...not your best but...I knew there was something in there waiting to come out. Just needed a little **** didn't it?
-Mess off muse, or I'll give you a little ****.-
"Bye, see you tomorrow. Perhaps you'll be in a better mood."
-*******-
martin Oct 2015
bless my sole
I'm in kneed
of a toe
it's all gone to waist
****
everyone nose
eye don't look
back
only a head
any more ?
martin Jun 2012
.
  She stood there naked,
still slightly embarrassed,
     without make-up.
martin Mar 2013
Driving west we reached an inn
A group of friends around a table
Laughing, joking, talking
About the usual things

As local, native as can be
But their language
Incomprehensible to me

Not similar or remotely related
To the sounds that come from my mouth

They speak my language too
But theirs by choice
It lives and thrives across the whole of this lovely country of theirs
Wales

History comes alive
My eyes are open wide
To diversity
Reminding me
Ours is a land of immigrants
Always has been
Other ancient native languages still spoken in the British Isles include Irish Gaelic, Scottish Gaelic and even Cornish, which I have seen here on hp once.  But Welsh is by far the biggest and most thriving I would say.
martin Nov 2015
He was a German soldier fighting in the war
Then as a P.O.W. he could fight no more
In an English garden
He worked and spent his days
Planting bulbs, trimming hedges
Learning English ways

Then to his homeland he went back
But in mischief didn't lack
For in the Spring the daffs he sowed
Spelled out Heil ******!
All in pretty rows
Cheeky beggar,
I wonder if he planted a ******* in snowdrops too.
At least he showed a bit of flair :)
True story from World War II

                         __
                   |__|__
                     __|   |
martin Jul 2016
-Necessities to agree-

-Something for you-

-And something-

for me!
martin Feb 2016
days they just go
weeks fly by
months...
turn to years
a life of counting
god I hate maths
subject to probable deletion
martin Jan 2012
Happy New Year
Be of good cheer
Let's raise a glass to happy times
And a whole new year of writing rhymes

If your glass is nearly empty
Fill it up,we've still got plenty
If your glass is never full
You drink too quick, silly fool
cheers
martin Mar 2018
Next time I go to the ocean
I will see you there
Your voice will calm the restless waves
The wind will play with your hair

The sand will accept our footprints
Our steps will be in time
Our gaze will scan the horizon
Your hand will be in mine

And when we are tired we will turn for home
The light will fade at the end of the day
We'll leave our footprints on the beach
And the tide will wash them away
martin Mar 2017
She rolled her brand new electric car.
Well she was aiming to turn over a new leaf.
How did they come up with the name?
'We have to get it across that this is a green car. Who's got a good name for it? Come on guys, what's green?'
'A leaf.'
'Brilliant, brilliant, the Nissan leaf!'
martin Jan 2012
Line up two by two
Nice and tidy, all of you
This is Noah's hay queue.
martin Oct 2014
No conversation
Scrolling finger up and down
A world of his phone
martin Jun 2012
My metaphor is better for the bin
My simile just says silly me
A joke, lost in translation
Wood, hidden by the trees

So I talk to the wind
Panning truths which dry to sand,
                     falling ashen.

Look to the cloud's lining
                     filing away like smoke

Out of time, out of sorts
Caught in a vortex
Time ganging up
Clogging, fogging

Come back mojo
What's going on?
martin Jan 2015
When there is nothing left to say
Pleas, half-formed unspoken fade
No last chances on a plate
No dying breath to resuscitate
All our jokers, aces played

Reluctant still to move away
Familiarity urges us to stay
Use the door, close the gate
When there is nothing left to say

The mirage that was yesterday
Crumbles into dust today
No more fire in the grate
All burnt out so why wait
The path untrodden leads the way
When there is nothing left to say
martin Mar 2015
He told me his name was Cyril
And he  lived alone on the Wirral
He never let on
But I heard from his mum
He's really a secret squirrel
The Wirral peninsular is in NW England and one of our best loved poets lives there  :)
martin Jun 2013
Panic rising in his chest
Control slipping away
Too many demands on his time
His children raising hell
Eating themselves out of house and home
Tearing lumps out of each other

How could he teach them a sense of responsibility,
Manners, morals
Who could he turn to for help, advice...
There was no one

This was not the way he'd planned it
This was not the way he'd meant it to be
God sighed
He put his head in his hands and wept
It was not easy being a single parent
martin Oct 2015
a ***** is a *****
rotavator is a palindrome
and my newt is very small
martin Feb 2014
For many years we have stood side by side
Unthinkable to contemplate your loss
If you should leave, bereft we would abide
And both of us must count the heavy cost
We have not always been the best of friends
I know you feel our union was forced
But all those ****** battles had to end
Since then do our achievements count for nought?
The whole is better than the sum of parts
Oh Caledonia, it's up to you
Is our historic partnership to last
Or do we have to bid a friend adieu
  By voting, not by battle you decide
  Remain, or by the claymore sever ties
Later this year the people of Scotland will vote in a referendum to decide whether or not they wish to remain part of the United Kingdom.
The claymore is a traditional Scottish sword.
My first attempt at a sonnet.
martin Jan 2013
Out of two hundred men who went over the top
Only a handful came back
Jim survived, he made it home
Lucky Jim for that

He stood and watched me for a minute
As I struggled to master my task
'You'll get the hang on it'
Was his gruff but engaging remark

'Once you get over eighty,
Anything can happen you know
This time next year
I might not be here
Anytime I could go'

Within the twelve month he passed away
How right he proved to be
And since that time now and then
His words come back to me
martin Apr 2016
He was cruel
was old man Venn

He'd tie two cats' tails together tight
Hang them on the washing line
Stand there laughing
Watch them fight

Different folk, different times
different days back then
But he was cruel
Was old man Venn
martin Aug 2012
Races run
Medals won
Now before you go back across the sea
May I ask if you'll take some time
And come with me...

Let me say what's on my mind,
I find it hard to be too subtle
The sight of all that muscle
Turns my head I find...

I'm really thinking legacy
Specifically from  you  and me
I'm so glad we have connected
Could we perhaps play catch-up on the bits neglected...

We could take it nice and slow
Pop some corks, lights down low
Then dive into the midnight pool
Stir some genes around

Hell really, what's a girl to do
When her ideal partner's found?

I have this ticking bio clock
So will you fire me off the starting block?
This is what we could do-
Make olympic champion 2032
A panda said to his mate
Should we procreate?
She said relax my dear
Perhaps next year
You'll only get into a state
martin Jul 2012
As a young girl she was grumpy
All the boys thought she was dumpy
Then she got fit -
Here's the best bit -
Now she runs for her country!
martin Jun 2015
On Bosworth field the die was cast
As banners flapped and arrows flew
The King of England breathed his last
A new one crowned before the day was through

Spewing lead the canons roared
Armour glinting in the light
When Henry's banner Richard saw
He led his men into the fight

The standard bearer he cut down
Then ten feet from his foe it's said
His horse got mired in boggy ground
So failed the charge that he had led

As Henry's men surrounded him
Richard stood his ground and said
I shall not flee, I'll die a King
England's crown upon my head

For the House of York the cause had failed
His skull was smashed, the deed was done
The House of Lancaster prevailed
On Bosworth field the war was lost and won
The battle of Bosworth Field, 1485, was the decisive battle ending the English Civil War, known as the War of the Roses, fought between the houses of Lancaster and York. It was the end of Richard III's reign, the last of the Plantagenets, and the beginning of the Tudor period with Henry VII.

Richard's body was slung over a horse and taken to Leicester where it was put on public display before being buried in an unmarked grave. Only recently in 2012 was the body re-discovered, under a large letter R written on the ground, under a car park. His remains have been re-interred in Leicester cathedral.


-An extract from the poem Bosworth Fielde-
The form and content indicate that it was written within living memory of the battle, probably by an eye-witness;

“Heere is thy horsse att thy hand readye;
another day thou may thy worshipp win,
& ffor to raigne with royaltye,
to weare the crowne, and be our King.”

he said, “giue me my battell axe to my hand,
sett the crowne of England on my head soe hye!
ffor by him that shope both sea and Land,
King of England this day I will dye!
martin May 2012
.                          Light a joss stick for Chisato
                     Last seen in her best kimono
             She did what she was told to do
          Lined up in the playground
       Follow us across the bridge
     The grown-ups said.
   Bad move
The wave...
Okawa elementary school, Japan, 11th March 2011.
martin May 2017
I sip at my beer in gentle fright
At the local community open-mike night
Never done this thing before
How it would go I wasn't too sure

My turn came soon, I think is this wise?
My casual air a thin disguise
Get close to the mike, speak slow and clear
They won't understand if they can't hear

I reel off the poems
They laugh and they clap
So in a month's time
Perhaps I'll go back...
last night

Tell us about your open-mike experiences.
martin Oct 2012
One last walk up the lane
One last wander round the meadow
One last photograph

One last hug
We're so sorry
But we couldn't bear to see you suffer
We have had to say goodbye to our beloved Dusty dog. Very suddenly he felt unwell, and we were told he had late stage cancer on the spleen and heart.  I am going to take a break from hp for a little while.
martin Jul 2015
A family of farmers near there be
That treateth all folk kindily
Who follow by the chapel creed
And gladly lend a hand to those in need
Three brothers are they in truth
No longer in the prime of youth
Though the father is still alive
And longer may he live and thrive

On the corner with his wife there be
A farmer now retired comfortably
Often when he sees folks walk
He stops his car to have a talk
Common sense he has in good measure
And to hear him always is a pleasure

Another farmer too lives off the layne
With his wife, the same again
They have two cottages they rent out
As well as sundry acres round about
Which bring them rent into their hand
And so they live off the fat of the land

A woman lives half way down our layne
Her husband died which was a shame
She must have shed many tears
For he was only sixty-five in years
But she does not live alone
Her daughter lives with her at home
She keeps her house as would a saint
No cracks in walls or flaking paint
Like a wooden ship of old
It faces out on fields that gently fold
Also she has her parents there
In a barn converted with great care

And then we have a bungalow I say
Where the father works on the farm all day
He drives a tractor he calls his own
And they have two boys now fully grown

There is a little cottage at the end
Where the owners like to spend
A day or two to come to stay
For they are vets and work away

Then there is us here as well
But for sure truth to tell
You know me well enough I fear
So I'll not describe myself just here
martin Mar 2012
Canvas ***** in summer wind
violin bow rise and fall
lanterns hang and gently swing
squeeze box play and caller call

A minute snatched with everyone
cars strung out along the lane
all our chums are having fun
we avoid the summer rain

I read a poem thanking you
for being such a wicked wife
unexpectedly you sing a song
a song I will remember
all my life

Clover glows on midnight lawn
night sounds comfort all around
in the misty refreshing gloaming
dance with me
sing with me
let me swing you round and round

Quietly we close the gate
soon will come the tipping point
to very early from very late
gone or sleeping every guest
lordly drunk we seek our rest
martin Jun 2015
When the glass runs out of sand
Gently guide me through the night
Sit by me and hold my hand
Be my comfort and my light

Gently guide me through the night
Let us chase the shadows down
Be my comfort and my light
Let me see you smile not frown

Let us chase the shadows down
Though I see your eyes do weep
Let me see you smile not frown
Until such time as we may sleep

Though I see your eyes do weep
Sit by me and hold my hand
Until such time as we may sleep
When the glass runs out of sand
martin Nov 2016
I come on me bike tonight,
Blast bor,
That wind were agin me the whole blinkin way
I wholey hoop that change afore I goo hoom agin.
martin Nov 2015
raindrops running down
little rivulets of tears
only pretend pain
martin Jun 2015
Concealed amid the Summer green
As stars await their turn to shine
The thrush sings thrice his song unseen
And we would like to hold back time

As stars await their turn to shine
We want his song to never stop
And we would like to hold back time
As another cork we pop

We want his song to never stop
We hope for shooting stars up high
As another cork we pop
Watch nature's fireworks in the sky

We hope for shooting stars up high
The thrush sings thrice his song unseen
Watch nature's fireworks in the sky
Concealed amid the Summer green
A pantoum poem consists of 4 or more stanzas.
Each stanza has an ABAB rhyme pattern.
The 2nd and 4th line of each stanza is re-used as the 1st and 3rd line of the next stanza.
The pattern goes on for as long as you like until the last stanza, where the 2nd line and 4th line are re-cycled from the first stanza. The first line of the poem becomes the last line, and the 3rd line of the poem is repeated as the 2nd line of the last stanza.
martin Jul 2018
You said to me the other day
There's only me and you
But babe I need to tell you
I'm only passing thru

You say I saved you from yourself
And perhaps it's true
But remember when I say
I'm only passing thru

It's gonna hit you 'cos you see
You'll need somebody new
You're gonna come to realise
I'm only passing thru

Passing thru, passing thru,
What I say is true
Babe did I tell you
I'm only passing thru
martin Jun 2014
Hole in the roof
Bit of a panic
Wouldn't be good
Snow in the attic
So I fixed it right away
Sent a bill
He didn't pay

Ok I got it in the end
Some time later hello friend
Need some work done
Will you quote

That I won't I fairly bristled
This time 'friend'
You can whistle
martin Nov 2012
I was born into flame
The son of parent stars
But stars burn out
And have to die
Leaving me,
The Dieing Embers
Of a dynasty
That used to rule the sky

I joined this site so as a poet
I could shine and grow
I call myself the Common Raven
But really I'm a crow

Mums and dads stroll past our pond
Hand in hand with little ones
They bring their dogs, some are old
Some are little pups
My parents they are mallards,
Nothing rare as such
So I was consequently
Inevitably raised by ducks

In heaven swearing is allowed
I didn't know, did you?
But someone went a bit too far
And turned the air quite blue
He was celestially expelled
It was the only thing to do
And now is known as
Angel of Profanity
To the likes of me and you
martin Mar 2012
Begun in haste and desperation
Very soon we parted

You told your friends what a ***
I told mine I had won

It was the perfect parting to a union
We never should have started
martin Feb 2013
She sees him once or twice a week
For services bought and sold
She keeps it all a bit hush-hush
Her friends she hasn't told

He makes her knees go wobbly weak
Her heartbeat gets so fast
She feels her body overheat
He makes her pant  and gasp

They say she's looking good these days
They all are wondering why-
Why the jaunty spring in the step-
Why the sparkling eyes

Then one night with all her friends
She said I'll tell you a thing-
This is Wil, my personal trainer
And this my diamond ring
martin Feb 2013
There was a pirate who came from afar
Who sank his ship for a h'penny o' tar
He had a scar on his cheek,
Gold in his teeth
And like Prabhu, a thing for the noir

There was a vicar from Kent
Who gave up religion for lent
He enjoyed a spree
Of being un-holy
Nobody knows where he went

For the tourists to impress
She wore traditional dress
She liked the grass skirt
And the flowery shirt
But the coconut bra caused distress

One of the tourists she knew
Was really enjoying the view
He bought her a drink
Tickled her pink
And said may I remove it for you?

The limerick man was on top
He was writing such a lot
The barrel he dredged
He lost his edge
And didn't know when to stop
martin Aug 2012
Over the years I've had a few tries
But it's not been a great success
Enthusiastic but lacking technique
Finishing up a bit of a mess

Now Brendon's out there, plying his trade
He's only twenty three
Done it at college, passed his grades
So he can do it properly

Earning the money, stashing away
To buy a place of his own
Sure he'll get there, for as they say
Where there's a will there will be a way

His girl is local, she does people's hair
He says in her head there's nothing but air
Calls her the missus, she's only eighteen
Like an old married couple to some they seem

She rides with him in his scruffy old van
She'd prefer a comfortable car
She wants to leave home as soon as she can
So likes to see him work hard

As the day ticks away we mardle
He knows an old flame of mine
I say yes, I know her quite well
But not seen her now for some time...

The grand design moves forward
We've had a laugh and a chat
All paid up, thanks for your help
In a month or so he'll be back
Not much of a contribution, but as you see I've been busy!
Mardle means chat, tell stories.

I met a young woman from Thirsk
And thought she was nice at first
But her teeth were all black
She answered me back
And she did nothing but curse
martin Oct 2014
Scientists tell us
Before the BIG BANG!
There was no time

Plus ça change...
martin Apr 2012
Poems that make you stare into space
poems that show you another place
passion poems, cherry red, inspiration bouncy bed
poems not to recite to your mother
poems to whisper to your lover

Poems that soar like a bird on the wing
poems that crash before they begin
poems in bars, poems with stars
poems you want to put in a vase                                                  
                 and water

Poems that need a lot of deciphering
poems you see a bit of your life in
poems written by a maniac
for the benefit of an insomniac

Poems with windows to the soul
poems like footballers scoring a goal
poems to savour, make you want more
poems for everyone, poems galore

Poems brief, poems long
poems that seem to go on and on
like this one
martin Dec 2011
The 3 toed sloth
Rhymes with goth
Or is it oath

Moves slowly

Sometimes algae grows on his head
Joni Mitchell didn't mean him when she said

Wild things run fast
3 toed sloth, he'd come last

Once a week he climbs down from his tree
And that's to have a poo and ***

Now sloths get amorous
But *** is tricky up a tree
He moves too quick, he's not used to it
And hits the ground involuntarily

Randy broke his arm
Kind people fixed it with titanium

He resumes his slothful days
But now he's more careful with his loving ways
Randy lives in Costa Rica near to the world's only sloth sanctuary.
martin Feb 2013
He catches rats for a living
The fine young, jolly young man
Says if you can't get rid of them
Call me, because I can

I'll trap 'em, drown 'em, poison 'em,
Hit 'em on the head
Failing that I'll fire some shot;
Fill 'em up with lead

Bedbugs, fleas, ants, pigeons in the loft
Squirrels being troublesome
Tell me, I'll stop the lot

Then he handed me a business card
Said this is me as well
So if you fancy tasty burgers
Just give me a bell
All the world's a stage the actor said
And every man must play his part
Then he rather ruined it
By letting out a little ****
martin Sep 2015
do you hear the cries out there
         some will drown
in darkness
it was leave or die
so pay the man the fare

no air
dead in a container
for a refugee
there is no fair

country torn apart
cities razed
if it were us instead
how would we fare
martin Sep 2012
If religion did not exist then man would invent it.

Religion did not exist so what happened, man invented it.
martin Nov 2018
When the sun comes rising up
On a brand new day

When shooting stars score the sky
And quickly fade away

When lark ascends in the fields
Flying high and free

When robin sings his little song...
Spare a thought for me


When the oak in springtime rain
Wakens from the dead

When the sun behind the wood
Glows a winter red

When starlings race and fall to roost
Then chatter in the cover

Think of me even if...
Your hand is in another
martin Dec 2011
I'm Ridgey the rabbit shooter, that's who I am
I'll shoot your rabbits bang bang bang!
So if there's a problem give me a call
I'll shoot your rabbits but I'll not get 'em all
I'll tell you a story and keep you amused
But if you upset me no bounds what I'll do.

So if you're passing by one day
Be sure to stop and give us a wave
I'm usually here, lurking about
So if I see you I'll give you a shout
I'm Ridgey the rabbit shooter make no mistake
My talk is plain and my aim is straight.
Wrote this for a customer of mine in 2009, who sadly died recently. The family asked to read it at his funeral.
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