I know you've been hurt many times before.
So now your brain is wired to see the
opposite *** or potential crushes as a threat.
A threat to your self confidence.
A threat to your inner peace.
A threat to your just fully healed heart.
But there comes a time where you have to let
your walls down just a little bit.
There are good people out there.
You have to let them in.
Maybe you won't feel so bitter and cold
if you'd just let some sunshine in.
It's a scary thing to do, of course.
To bare a vulnerable part of yourself to
someone after being stabbed before.
But past injuries should not hold you back.
Don't you know diamonds are made under
great pressure?
All these hardships will shape you into a gem.

-m.b

I remember being on my first longest flight. We took the midnight flight and I remember dozing off many times. Whenever I awake I would look out the window and see the dark sky, peppered with grey clouds, illuminated by my old friend Luna. She was next to me the whole night; a brightly glowing orb, floating for God knows how many years since her birth. At times when I wake up and feel restless that we were still flying, I'd look up to Luna and she would be there. Shining patiently and wisely. It filled me with a sense of warm serenity. Her beams of light bounced after each passing cloud, chasing my flight and I felt so at peace. That at my first long journey, I was accompanied by an old, loving friend. When everyone was asleep, I had silent conversations with Luna about my thoughts; my fears and expectations. She listened patiently until I felt content.

I felt a twinge of sadness when I woke up the next time, the dark night has transformed into a brightly lit sky. This time it was Helios in Luna's place. I've never really been close with him so I wasn't exactly sure how to feel or react. But it was the first time I met him up close, thousands of feet in the air. I never knew how beautiful it is to see Helios starting the day by waking everyone up from slumber. Helios, a brightly glowing lava spreading rays from clouds to mountains. I've always been the one thinking about days ending, I never bothered about days starting. Helios grew stronger and illuminated our journey with his jovial rays. Where Luna was silent, calming and patient, Helios was loud, energetic and eager. I am blessed that I was accompanied by the two powerful beings. My fears turned into excitement and I no longer grew afraid of long journeys. Not when I have them.

-m.b

Being with you was like being in a movie.
The summer romantic comedy, roller-coaster
of a plot that went on for a full year;
accompanied by beautiful soundtracks.
A roller-coaster because at one point it
dropped heavily into a tragedy.
There were so many soundtracks it felt
like a musical.
When I think back, I could only remember
night car rides, laughter, nerves and a lot
of music playing.
Ever since the "movie" ended, I've been
sitting alone. The stillness of a post credit
scene that never came.
So when I listen to the songs again,
it's like re-watching the movie all over
again. Your favourite old movie,
Re-living the good and bad parts;
especially knowing when your heart is going to break.

-m.b

I wonder what her voice was like
and if it was that he fell in love with.
I wonder if he still misses laying
his head on her shoulder or tummy
when he starts to feel ******.
I wonder if my hands are warm enough
to ease away his anxiety
and I wonder if I'll ever be enough
to take his mind off her.
And will I ever be enough to be with him?

I wonder if she'll ever stop running
through his head when he isn't sober.
That my love could start burning
so bright, his life could start over.
Could I offer an opportunity he wants?
Could I make him fall in love again?
Why am I hurting so much, wanting
to be the one he turns his attention to?
I'm feeling things I thought I buried already
but he keeps digging into me. I'm reviving.

-m.b

Time and time again,
I chose you.
And every single time,
you looked away;
never choosing me.

Yet I still paint you in white,
place you on the highest tier.
Look at you with adoration;
with rose coloured glasses.

I still wait for the day
you open your eyes
to look at me.
With open arms,
realising I was right.

The voice saying I'm wrong
are immediately hushed
and pushed to the farthest wall.
You don't know anything at all.
Silly, silly me.

-m.b