I wonder what her voice was like
and if it was that he fell in love with.
I wonder if he still misses laying
his head on her shoulder or tummy
when he starts to feel ******.
I wonder if my hands are warm enough
to ease away his anxiety
and I wonder if I'll ever be enough
to take his mind off her.
And will I ever be enough to be with him?

I wonder if she'll ever stop running
through his head when he isn't sober.
That my love could start burning
so bright, his life could start over.
Could I offer an opportunity he wants?
Could I make him fall in love again?
Why am I hurting so much, wanting
to be the one he turns his attention to?
I'm feeling things I thought I buried already
but he keeps digging into me. I'm reviving.

-m.b

Time and time again,
I chose you.
And every single time,
you looked away;
never choosing me.

Yet I still paint you in white,
place you on the highest tier.
Look at you with adoration;
with rose coloured glasses.

I still wait for the day
you open your eyes
to look at me.
With open arms,
realising I was right.

The voice saying I'm wrong
are immediately hushed
and pushed to the farthest wall.
You don't know anything at all.
Silly, silly me.

-m.b

It's the low thrumming sound;
I could feel it within my spirit
whenever you're not around.
I didn't think I would get hit
by Eros just yet. I was doing so fine
on my own. Life is funny.

The rhythms come together
when we catch each other's waves.
This is so cliché but life just got better.
I feel like all the negativity paves
way and made room for your presence.
Counting my blessings, you're a godsend.

-m.b

There's this girl;
      who would cry alone.

No one to hear,
      no one to help.

Just as quickly as she starts
      to cry,

Her eyes dry up
      as if she never cried
  in the first place.

-m.b

We were in a car; you on the wheel,
me on the passenger seat.
The hood of the car gleamed, painted teal.
I kicked off my shoes, baring my pink feet.
Your jet black hair ruffled by the wind
and I sang loudly to a song you hate.
I burst out laughing every time you winced
then we drove until the night grew late.

We were in a car; you on the wheel,
me on the passenger seat.
We debated where do we go for a meal
until our throats grew parched from the heat.
Your sweat gleamed in the sunlight
and you laughed at my running make up.
We watched shooting stars at night
while scooping up cookies and cream from a tub.

We were in a car; you on the wheel,
me on the passenger seat.
You recited a poem about how you feel
every time our eyes and fingers meet.
You placed a hibiscus in my hair
and kissed many parts of my skin.
Telling me how you could not bear
to leave me. Through thick and thin.

We were in a car; you on the wheel,
me on the passenger seat.
We broke out in a peal
with each joke and pun you uttered.
I grew fond of your warm voice,
especially when you read out loud
from the thick book of poetry and prose;
going in circles, jammed roundabouts.

We were in a car; you on the wheel,
me on the passenger seat.
On August first, we made a deal.
That we'll stick with each other, won't cheat.
We did our handshake and giggled
when we kept messing up, then started over.
One hand on the wheel, you struggled
like a rookie flame thrower.

We were in a car; you on the wheel,
me on the passenger seat.
You parked by the roadside to kneel
and asked me to be yours on February 13th.
I laughed and I cried and you did the same
when I said "yes" almost immediately.
We cried a lot and you were never ashamed
of emotions. You always wear it beautifully.

We were in a car; you on the wheel,
me on the passenger seat.
Fresh bride and groom, I let out a squeal
of happiness for I love you with every heartbeat.
We drove around for our honeymoon,
picked up languages to dance in our mouths.
Wide awake at nighttime, sleeping in afternoons,
different adventures, different months/

We were in a car; with me on the wheel,
you on the passenger seat.
Went for a check-up when you felt ill.
We picked up a scattered magazine to read
as doctors and nurses bustled in and out.
We were assured that you will be fine
so we continued to drive and shouted
at your sickness to leave you alone.

We were in a car; me on the wheel,
your clothes on the passenger seat.
Try as you might, you couldn't seem to heal.
I couldn't take in all the deets.
All I remember was our deal and I had
to laugh at the irony. The only person
who cheated was life. Now you're dead
and I'm left, driving alone on this transition.

-m.b