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Divine Minds Transcend

Released from the chains that bound me
increased the flames that live and breathe
There is a world that found me
lost inside a lucid dream
The truth is hidden in the spinning ether
woven in the mystery of DMT

No more fear
confusion
chaos
or death
I promise you
transcendence is next

I was once lost in confusion
bound in a body I did not own
I was once the enemy
stuck in a world far from home
A dreamless reality
a nightmare I did not believe
Until one day my mind was blown
I fell into the cosmos
and watched my ego disintegrate
shattered into a million pieces
My outer shell peeled off perfectly

I arrived at a place I can not describe
I saw them standing over me
I could not hide
and then it happened
I was profoundly changed
during my journey in hyperspace

Oceans of light prevail
emotions and fear recede
as the spirit world sets sail
Our burning love endures
in the spinning ether
woven in the mystery of DMT

Embrace the truth
compassion
and peace
I promise you
transcendence is next
© JDMaraccini 2013
The kind of treatment I need can no longer come from a bottle.
I need to wander around the city late at night.
I need to spend all day drinking coffee and looking around a second hand book store.
I need to exchange life stories with a stranger, and then never see them again.
I need some space for the time in my head to justify itself.
I need to tour an art museum.
I need to go to the beach and sit in one spot all day.
I need to go 24 hours without any form of human contact.
I need to sing, and cry, and scream loudly in my car, speeding down the highway.
I need to go to the movie theater for a triple feature all by myself.
And lastly I need to get a big bottle of gin,
And a bigger bottle of pills,
And have a nice big meal with the two,
And take a nice long nap.
Because the kind of treatment I need,
DOESN'T EVEN ******* EXIST.
Sorry about that.
I don't even think there was a trigger this time.
I think it just became a very big relapse
Very very quickly.
Or it is just a big delayed reaction of
Of a certain act of
Valor.
Now I cry through the bulimic tag every night
Like the stupidest ***** this side of the city.
And I fix my breathing with my beautiful ******* razors,
Inside my friend's bathrooms.
I'd rather feel empty,
You have to spend less money on alcohol that way.
A certain act of valor.
Not that I can blame the poor baby,
It was my own fault.
Masochistic you could say.
I don't want to die,
I just want to stop suffering.
Actually,
I just want to suffer.
Actually,
I just want to suffer until I make everything perfect.
Until I'm someone's prize possession.
Suka.
There's more than one way to turn two bodies
Into one.
Instead,
**** my soul till it's raw.
Fill me to the brim with your broken ego.
I'll dance my catastrophic tongue along your weak spot,
Your achilles heel.
Which, of course,
Is me breaking your ego.
I'll let you penetrate me with a silent stare,
Oh god,
Yes there.
Dive into my insecurities,
Call my bluff,
Put me on a pedestal,
Rigged to collapse into ruins.
I like when you push me.
Don't break me,
Ecstasy comes when I break myself,
Smash myself into over analyzed bits and sociopathic pieces.
Faster.
Harder.
Make it harder for me to figure you out,
Give me a challenge.
**** yes,
I love a challenge.
Reading an open book is easy,
Picking up a locked journel off an abandoned bookshelf,
Now that pushes me over the edge.
Let's change into a more comfortable position,
Where you ramble an incoherent childhood stories,
And I retort loudly in my native language,
And you storm off because no one is right,
And no one is wrong.
And you get off on the point that there is no point.
Just build it up.
More.
****.
****.
More.
Touch my mind.
Don't touch my heart,
No stop.
Yes there.
A little more.



Dzięki.
You would think that the breathing would come easier by now.
If you thought that,
You are just so wrong.
Just so ******* wrong.
I'm stuck writing a song
That was only meant to be heard by the deaf,
And the lyrics read by the blind,
Sung by the mute.
They said it will be just fine.
But if words
Could come
Easier
Then life would lose
A bit
Of the fear factor.
But there's no way to describe how it feels
When you realize you parents are actually people,
And the only reason that you're ****** up is yourself,
And it's nobody else's problem.
You can write out the emotion behind
Losing all that you've confided in,
When you lose your other half,
And it wasn't your fault
And you can't stop them all.
You can't fix what you didn't break,
You can only take the fall.
I'm always too hot or too cold,
It's not because I'm getting old.
I've just been overcompensating for the heat that's down here
In the hell I put myself in.
We're all our own Satan.
Today Collin disappeared.
He was not around when I woke up,
He was not around when I got back from picking up my car,
He was not around when I got home from running errands.
I would have called the police,
If there was any such thing as a Casper Alert.
Oh, what a horrid thing to lose a little ghost boy.
Who can help you?
He finally came back at dinner time,
Only because I had made mac n cheese.
He had gone to the park all ******* day long.
Collin is only four,
This is unacceptable.
He had me running ragged.
He is not allowed to go out for three weeks now.
And he is not leaving my sight for those three weeks.
Especially since we are moving Monday.
I have to pack his ghost clothes,
And his little translucent ghost toys.
Dear god, Collin,
You scared me.
Other stories about Collin can be found in the collection "Son", which you can find if you look in the notes down below.
I never saw the shadow of a tree,
And thought it was a person.
This is quite a letdown to me.
The closest I got was thinking
That my boot was actually my cat.
I wish I could find away to tell myself I'm beautiful.
I didn't know it then,
But I did self harming before I knew what it was.
Back when I was six or seven.
I started bruising myself when my house got loud
With swearing and yelling and
The occasional smack across the face,
And the loud drunken verbal lashings.
I'd sit behind my door,
And hold myself really tight
And pinch my rib cage all over.
Till I couldn't stand it.
It was a nice distraction.
My fishy seems to have swam away,
Which is very odd because he lived in a bowl
In the suburbs.
How did this happen?
Here fishy fishy.
I don't want to have to get a new one.
This fishy came pretrained,
And could already do tricks,
The other fishies bore me.
Where's the flattery?
Here fishy fishy.
My little ghost baby Collin and I moved the other day.
We were in the car for about five hours.
Unfortunately he did not sleep.
He was going through boxes and singing loud songs.
He was excited though.
I had been sick,
I still am.
Collin had a stuffy nose last night.
I made him stay in bed all day,
And eat some ghost soup.
I did not start unpacking one thing until today.
All the basics are put away.
We don't have much.
We have a lot of spoons though.
Collin is making me read him this right now.
He wants me to tell you all that he likes spoons.
Silly silly baby.
Other stories about Collin can be found in the collection "Son", which you can find if you look in the notes down below.
Collin has developed a new love for salads.
I could not be more pleased.
He does have to cover them in cheese,
But ghosts can't really become obese...
So I will take what I can get.
There is another ghost boy in our building.
His name is Jordan,
He is five and he has lived here for two years.
They play together when I'm busy.
Jordan is very tough,
So I have been teaching Collin to hold his own.
No one will push my baby around.
He's too special for that.
Other stories about Collin can be found in the collection "Son", which you can find if you look in the notes down below.
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