There is nowhere where
I am in your arms again
I'm left without you

The days
Used to drag
And all I wanted
Was for the day
To come
But now
The days pass too fast
And I dread
The future that
Lies ahead

I know I'm not
The full package
I know I'm not
As beautiful
As some other girl
Drawing eyes
Pulling people
Transfixed
To her perfect life

I know that
She might have everything
I know that
She might have the eyes of a goddess
The skin of an Egyptian queen
And hair spun from silk
But I swear to you
I may not draw eyes
But you will draw mine
You may not feel pulled to me
But I will pull you in
I might not be transfixing
But I will always love you
My life may not be perfect
But I will be perfectly
Entirely
Yours

I just want someone
Anyone
Who will kiss me deeply
Love me passionately
And who will spend the rest
Of his life
Letting me do the same.

I may not be ideal
But I will love you
Kiss you
Hold you
And all you have to do
Is love me in return.

I am made
Of sea **** and
Salt
I have sea foam
In my veins
I feel the ebb
And the pull
Of the moon
With every beat
Of my heart
The waves
Press against my lungs
And I was born
For the salty sea air
I know its natural scent
More than I know
How to speak
I was taught
Each sense
By the ocean
I don't know land
I don't know how to
Stride
On the ground
The way I walk
On the water
I am a tsunami
Trapped in a pool
And I can hear the waves calling me home

You've pushed me
Right to the edge
You took whatever was good in me
And you tore it from my chest
And threw it to the ground
It's been a long time coming,
But finally you've done it

And I know I'm
Messed up
I know I'm
Strange in the head
But you've treated me
Like dirt
And now
Messed up as I am
All I want to do
Is **** myself
To make you sorry

I am so sick
Of my pain
My exhaustion
My self
Not being valid
Because you
Are "in more pain"
"More tired"
More everything
Than I am

I can still hurt
Even if you hurt
Even if you hurt more
I am still valid

.

I hate this
The hating myself
And loving you
Even though
It should be
The other way around

You hurt me
You put your hands where
No one else's
Had ever
Made a mark
My angel of darkness

But my mind
My mind keeps twisting
This into a
Fairytale
Of some sick
Hansel and Gretel tale

Were I am
The villain and you
You are the sweet
Innocent
Son who is
Just trying
To find a way through this

Whatever it is

So I love
I give my all to
You and  your games
Even though
Your warm hands
Are all over my own

Your skin and
Sweet scent of cologne
Have left bruises
All over
My life now
And they won't go away

So please, please
Someone help me to
Get rid of these
Marks and these
Footprints that
Are left in my memories

You are a ghost
And God help me,
I can't make you leave

He does not need us to be mighty warriors
To fight His battle
For He Himself is the mighty one
The battle is already fought
And we are but helpless sheep
Awaiting our shepherd's loving hand
No, He needs not the strong
He needs not the heroes
But it is the lowly
The weak
The poverty-stricken
Yes, these are the ones
He calls
He asks
In all His love
For all His sacrifice
To simply follow Him

It was green
It was misty
My skin was cold
The road was twisty

Fog came up
And rain came down
And through the woods
Not a sound

Stuck in the rain,
My clothes worn thin
Goosebumps fled
Across my skin

Silence, peace
Like two old friends
They finally came
To me again

With each breath
That crossed my lips
And wind along
My fingertips

I seemed to lose
Myself some more
Upon that wet
And grassy floor

Then I awoke
In sun again
And said goodbye
To long lost friends

I said goodbye
To mist and Moore
And all the things
I thought so pure

I then turned back
To sinful strife
Hello again
To my old life

I know it's coming
The golden days
But right now
It is stormy
And my oh my I can't wait
For the open road
The trees rushing by
The wind in my hair
And peace at last

There is nothing
So hard
So wounding
So frustrating
As realizing
That the pain
Will always be
There
It will never
Go away

There is nothing harder
Than coming
To know
That you will always
Be
Broken
You will always
Hurt
And the only
Thing you have
To look forward to
Are the small
Moments of sleep
That may come
When the exhaustion
Defeats
The pain

Am I going crazy
Or is there something here
A great expanse of silence
Or new words
That tumble to
My ears

Is this such a mystery
That somehow won't unfold
Yet while I'm passing life by
It's passing
Me
As we
Grow old

All I know is home is
Wherever you might be
So come along
And take my hand
We'll sail
Across the sea

I know wherever you are
Is where I call my home
So wherever you may be
You are the
Missing half to
My soul

Life
As a child of God
Will never be easy
Or simple

There
Will be dark nights when
It seems that the sun
Will never shine again

There
Will be hours of
Bitter weeping where
You wonder

If
You could ever
Make it out alive
And intact

Clouds
Will close in and
Lightning will strike and
Rain will fall

Pain
Like an arrow
Will shoot hard and fast
Into your chest

You
Will wonder if
God was ever at
Your side

But
When the clouds pass
And at long last the
Rain drips away

Then
A brighter morn
Will spread it's wings
Against the stormy sky

And
Gently push the
Shivering rain
Away

And
The rainbow of
God's greatest promise
Will fall again

It
Is then, dearest angel
That you will forget
It was ever night

Warmth
Like the arms of
A great beloved
Will enfold you

Gates
Of pearl will open
To greet you
Survivor

And
Daring knight
Of the prince
Bidding you enter

And oh
How your heart
Will leap into
Forgetfulness

Of
All the darkness
And the shrowd
Of older days

And
Run into the arms
Of a Savior
Who would never
Leave you helpless

It is so sad to me
That we pray
And weep
And beg
For understanding
For wisdom
For peace
And to see His face
But we don't understand
That in order
To see God,
You must first get to heaven
And to get to heaven
You have to die
Pain always comes
Before the storm
A thorn always hurts the most
When it is pulled out
God gives His greatest blessings
And most wonderful lessons
After long nights
Of tears
And prayer

I am sick
Of being lonely
And without a soul friend
I am tired
Of being exhausted
From the lack
Of companionship
I've no one to turn to
And I'm tired
Of being broken
And alone
And drained
And helpless
And I don't know
How much longer
I can last

My only hope
Is that one day
He will come
And wipe my tears
Away

It is so sad to me
How much is
Left unsaid
By the broken
And the scared
And the scarred.
How many thoughts
Are left to be
Just the whisps
Of a painful memory
Of what it was like
To be what you said you are:
Fine

I am but a jar of clay
And You are the Potter
I am but a breath of dust
You are a well of water

You are an ocean of hope
Upon which my life sways
I am but a helpless sheep
You lead me day by day

You are Prophet, Priest and King
Your word to me is sweet
Your love is an eternal spring
Beside which we will meet

And though You are a precious King
And I was made Your daughter
May my soul never forget,
I'm clay, and You are potter

I miss the
Innocent love I used to bear
For my life
And it's virility

Alas, a new emotion
Has taken it's place
One I'm not sure
I can live with

But ah, how the days must
Go on in waves
Each
A more bitter cold
Than the last

I know it hurts
I know that every day it hurts
And that you want it to end
I know that the burden on your heart is
Welling up in your chest
Threatening to explode
I know that
Sometimes you think
About what it would be like
To just slip away
And out of this life
But I promise you
I swear
On everything
Good
In this world
It will get better
You will heal
One day
Things will get better
One day you won't feel
Like there is
A knife
In your back
Panic won't swell from your throat
It will be
Good
Someday
You just have to decide
To get through
One
Day
Just one
And then
One more
And before you know it
You will be
In bed
Next to the love
Of your life
The sun
Will rise
On a beautiful day
With peace on the breeze
And you will be better
You will get better
You will be happy

It brings
A cold
Hardness
To my chest
Knowing
That if I
Were to not try to speak
To you
For an entire week,
We would never
Speak
At all

Dear Lord in heaven

Thank you for the skies you've made
So bright and blue and sunny
Thank you for the rainy days
When winds of power sweep o'r me

Thank you for the good times, God,
And thank you for the bad
To understand your happiness
I must Contemplate sad

I ask you for your mercy
To keep me humble, low
But when you do as I have asked
I take it as a blow

You always have been with me
I know you'll never leave
And day by day you teach me
Your blessings to receive

I never could repay you
All the grace that I've been given
You died me for me and now I see
In return I give you sin

So before I ask a favor
I'll thank you one more time
For always granting mercy
When I commit a crime

And now at last we come
One portion I request
To bring me to your Haven
And Grant me eternal rest

The only thing I want
Is not upon this world
But dancing in the wind above
Between the clouds unfurled

I already know your answer
And surely I'll know more
When you grant me freedom
Upon the golden shore

A time will come when days are dark
Your lantern will not light a spark
The devil, then, will leave his mark
And night will sweep toward us

The darkness will blot out the light
And every hour will be as night
All of mankind will be a'fright
When the devil comes a'callin

But there is hope inside this tale
The sun will wipe away the vale
And then all wickedness will fail
We'll hear a brighter story

The Lord will come in chariots bright
He'll banish blackness, greet the light
His righteousness-oh what a sight
When He will come again

Like a warrior He will come
Into His loving arms we run
His brilliance is like the sun
He'll banish fear and sadness

The devil He will send away
In all His glorious bright array
We'll go to heaven where we'll stay
And live with Him forever

And when all things are said and done
And when the dark o'r takes the sun
upon the golden streets we'll run
And live with Him in glory

So take hope then, He's coming soon
To have the sun, wait out the moon
He sings a sweeter, richer tune
Hallelujah what a King

I keep hearing
Everyone say
"Drop people
Who bring negativity
Into your life"
And that's all well and good

But everyone
Brings some kind
Of negativity into
Your life
And following
That rule
Will only make you
Lonely
And alone

And at the end of the day
True friendship
Is about
Forgiveness
And second chances
And ****** if I'm not going to give
All the love
Forgiveness
And second chances
I can

Because in reality
The only people that matter
Are the ones who do the same
To you

Just because I hate the city
Doesn't mean I want
A
Silent
Life
I long for the powerful armored ocean
To pound at
My feet
Entreating me
Begging me
Enter
I dream
Of the quiet
Misty green
Mountains
Majestic
In their solitude
And mighty
In their sustaining of
Life
I hope for
The soft, strong
Air of sailing
To beat against my face
Threatening
To lift me
Into it's blue embrace
My heart beats
For the pines
Green
And great in beauty
I don't want a quiet life
I want a wild life

When you asked me what was wrong
I told you I was tired
I am tired
I'm tired of always
Being
The broken one

Have you ever wondered if this is a dream?
If maybe all of this chaos
Is nothing but a dim shadow
Between
Us and eternity?
Or maybe if you're going insane, and Every conversation you have
Every decision you make
Is all based on the charade
That is mental instability?
Often I wonder if others are
Going crazy
Or if I am the insane one, spending
My day's going back and forth
Across a spinning ball in space
And if maybe
Just maybe
Others wear the mask
So as not to betray
My insanity

And at night
When the demons come a-calling
And the devil comes a-screaming
In my ear,
There is nowhere to turn
But the arms of a Savior
Who's loving arms
Are always near

Often times it may seem like you have had so much mercy from the throne of Grace that it seems He must soon run out of it to give- Not so. His love is an eternal wellspring; it can never dry up from all our sin-no, His is an everlasting love.

In times of trouble
Echo still
These long-loved words of
Jesus' will

In times of darkness
And betrayal
God's glorious words
Make this trail

When  thundering waves
My ship shakes
These loving words
Will steady make

When hope is lost and
I give up
These glorious words have
Filled my cup

And when my heart now
Pierced with knife
"I'm the resurrection
And the life"

There will always be a darker sin
But there will always be a deeper love

Maybe it was all too soon
Maybe we loved too hard

Maybe you were all the sun
But I was only stars

Maybe we, two, fell too fast-
We held hands for too long

We were never meant to last
We both sang different songs

I could never be your type
And you'll never be mine

We both know we've made mistakes
In our long lost past

We were never meant to love
Were never meant to last

Maybe one day someday soon
We'll meet in some cafe

Our eyes will meet, as before
And we will smile and wave

Your hand will drop to your side
And with a tight-lipped grin

You'll walk down your own **** road
And you will love again

But this time I'll leave you alone
To love another heart

For now, we'll pass-unlikely friends
And we will be apart

I feel the hurting deep within
A punishment for all my sin
I'm in pain and I cannot win
Oh God, may you be glorified

He touches me where others won't
And sends to me these harmful stones
And tells me this is what He wrote
"I, God must be glorified"

He tests me with bitter remorse
In order to play out His course
To my lowest I am forced
So He will be glorified

For one day I know He will come
And show to me His holy son
And to His loving arms I run
For He will be glorified

So I'll gladly fill a smaller space
Alone within a harder place
And go where I can't see His face
If only God be glorified

I don't deserve your loving hand
I don't deserve your soft commands
I don't deserve your perfect plan
No, nor the way you love me

I don't deserve this "string of luck"
That from your strengthened stores you pluck
I don't deserve this chord you've struck
In all the ways you love me

I don't deserve eternal life
With no more tears and no more strife
You've spared me from the devils knife
With all the ways you love me

I used the be a wandering one
But then you came and gave your son
All my battles you have won
Yes, I know you love me

You love me when I disobey
And from your golden path I stray
But still you are my strength and stay
Lord, I'm so glad you love me

Without you my soul would be lost
And I would be hung on that cross
For words I am at such a loss
Lord, I need you to love me.

All you ask is my love, too
And Jesus I know this is true
I would be worthless without you
I love the way you love me

I used to believe
In happy endings
I used to believe
That everything would work out
That one day
I would find someone
I used to live
Like I was waiting for the greatest
Moment
Ever
I used to have faith
In humanity
In good
And in myself

But I guess it's been too long
Now a sunny day is just weather
A smiling stranger
Is just another person
Beautiful things are just
Creations

I used to believe that I would meet
The man of my dreams
But now I know
That I already have
And now I know
That he will never be mine

I've always thought
Of someone saying
"I miss you"
As
"You are missing
From my life"
And I think that's
Pretty
****
Beautiful

I complain all
Winter of the cold
But the truth is
When I've been hurt
And I feel betrayed
And my heart has been
Ripped
From my chest
There is nothing more comforting
Than hot tears
On freezing cheeks
My breath visible on the air
And the soft sound
Of my boots in the snow
As I travel down the sidewalk of a well-lit street
At night