My parents made a life together
A marriage built to last
They kissed and loved and raised us
And taught us to live vast

I met you, they didn't approve
I thought that you could change
I guess I should have listened
*** you changed in different ways

At first we made each other laugh
And I felt right at home
But when I needed you the most
I found myself alone

I was always there for you
You said I made you safe
I quickly fell in love with you
Turns out I made mistakes

My past, you used against me
My future was a threat
The present was all I lived for
I took what I could get

The strongest thing I ever did
Was leaving you at last
Before I even realized,
Six long months had passed

I still think of you sometimes
Try my hardest not to call
But I know if I see you again
Right into love I'll fall

I guess I'm doing better now,
Sometimes I forget, but
It's so hard not to remember
All of my weak regrets

I wanted everything for us
I guess we moved too fast
I thought we could have a future
Turns out all we have is past

I dream of chilly dawns
When blue night meets gray springtime
The bite of a new season
Hazy
Like wine on my lips
A breathless newness
Where everything inhales
Holding it inside before the
Exhale
Of a new day
The deep breath before the plunge
A still silence
Not quite silver glass
Nor a golden daylight
But a nether in between
The empty
That comes from
Awaiting new things

You never really loved me
But I've got blood on my hands
And you always did love the color red.