Marisa Lu Makil

Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2022

He wanted to tell her
That she looked lovely
Perfect
That her eyes in the evening sun
Looked like a Hazel paradise
That he didn't deserve her
He didn't deserve her
And that last truth
That he longed to whisper
Into her ear
Kept the words back
And his heart locked up
And all he said was
"You look fine"

Someone told me that other people find you 20% more attractive than you find yourself. I don't know if I believe that's true, but I guess I'll still holding onto the hope that someone will look at me and not hold in the words he wants to say out loud.

Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2022

Coliseum

Ashes to Ashes
Dust to Dust
How
Long
Until
These
Trials
Are
Over?

It's been a long day, full of good friends and good memories. Why do I still feel this way?

Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2022

Exerpt from Lonely

...so I tell myself that I'm just tired, I didn't sleep well last night.
I nod a few times trying to convince myself of that lie
Because I know that I really slept fine last night
I just feel lonely and I don't know how to cope.

Something I wrote from my heart and mind. Dealing with a lot right now, I didn't have the energy to think of anything to go before this, hence the elipses start. Lonely...tired...dejected...tired...

Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2022

Time to Sleep (pt 2/2)

I'm in bed
Barely awake
My nose is cold, but everything else is warm
And soft
I listen to the lonely melody of this song
And all becomes clear.
I do not fear the final closing of my eyes
For I know what I will see behind my long worn eyelids
A multitude of green fields
And a bleeding sunrise
Kissing the hills behind
And the smile of eternity brushing across my skin.

Sometimes when I'm barely awake, I will write stuff in the notes on my phone and go back to sleep and forget about it until I find it the next day or a couple days later. This is what I found this morning. Soft fall vibes here, and I'm warm under the covers. 🥰

Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2022

Taking Me Home (pt 1/2)

I listen to the lonely melody of this song
And all becomes clear.
I do not fear the final closing of my eyes
For I know what I will see behind my long worn eyelids
A multitude of green fields
And a bleeding sunrise
Kissing the hills behind
And the smile of eternity brushing across my skin
A brilliance that nothing on this side
Could touch

Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2022

Eve

She didn't believe in beauty
Though she has all the grace of a burning sunrise
But when she looked in the mirror
All she saw was the gray dust after a desert storm
But then someone told her he loved her
And suddenly she noticed
She noticed the way her eyes caught the sun
On a summer evening
She noticed the way her hips and body curved when she lay down on her side
She noticed the subtle highlights and graceful natural loose curls on her head
And she saw for the first time how beautiful she really was
And sometimes when I look in the mirror
I can still see her smiling
With those emerald eyes
And I remember my own beauty

I'm working on taking more pictures of myself that make me feel beautiful. I've always had body image issues, and I think that I'm finally working through them, and it only took 24 years. 😂 Remember that the girl or boy you see in the mirror isn't always you. It's only you if you find him/her beautiful. I thought I'd name this poem after the mother of mankind. I can only imagine how lovely she was, and for a sweet time, she knew she was beautiful.

Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2022

Miss Me?

We used to be much closer
Friends, just you and me
We'd hug and laugh, not knowing
That soon you'd choose to leave

I miss the laugh you had
The one not filled with spite
I miss when we'd play Jenga
Now all we do is fight

You borrowed drinks of hellfire
Before you even knew
You had changed your eyes to anger
Hazel looked so good on you

Now they flash red with fury
Whenever I dare speak
Dear sister, I am trying
To turn the other cheek

But both cheeks now are ragged
Torn, you've struck them both
In waters of your good graces
I'm fighting just to float

People ask if I miss you
I don't know what to say
I miss you oh so badly
But not the "you" this way

I miss the forest fairy
Who used to hold my hand
She wanted my approval
Now she's slipped away like sand

I don't know what to do now
How do I get her back?
Your skin is turning ashen
Your eyes are turning black

I miss my baby sister
I want her home again
But not when you're sinister
I dearly miss my friend

I fear that I have lost you
I cannot reach you now
You've fallen far too deep
Now both of us will drown.

I miss my baby sister. 2 years ago she was a completely different person. She was happy and always laughing, she was perfectly happy to help in any way, now she doesn't even thank me when I do things for ger in hopes of winning her back. She's become closer with some friends who are influencing her in a bad way, and now she's just angry, especially at me, she turns everything into an argument, she doesn't eat hardly anything, it's like she's wasting away right in front of me. I prayed for a baby sister for 5 years when I was a kid. We've had our rough patches, but we've always made up. I still remember the day she was born, going to see her and my mom in the hospital with my grandma. I'm clinging desperately to hope that the same sweet baby sister I prayed for is in there somewhere, and that when she's ready, she will come out, and we can go back. I've always wanted a sister to be best friends with. Now I wonder if she even loves me anymore.