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Marisa Lu Makil Jan 2022
All things must end
Good and bad
We don't always get happy endings
But if we're lucky,
And very, very blessed,
We might keep getting happy beginnings.
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2021
Oh and what a relief
To wake up
And find the monsters in my head
Were nothing but a nightmare
Locked
And seared
On the backs of my waking eyelids
I've been having some horrible nightmares lately. I don't know why. A few days ago, I had to sit up and remind myself where I was, that my neighbor was downstairs and no one has my key. I turned the lights on before going back to bed. My brother says I should get help and find a counselor who is able to help me. For some reason, typing up my nightmare when I wake makes me feel better. I have a whole file full of them.
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2021
I write for you here on this side
It just seems right somehow
I'll write about your funny smile
And happy, wrinkled brow

You always wore your funny socks
You passed in happy ones
Now 'neath the ground they lay with you
On golden roads they run

You carried me when I was born
Down bright hospital halls
But still for me, you left too soon
The voice of heaven called

As years went by, you helped me walk
Lovingly watched me grow
We had a soft, unspoken ​love
That only grandpa's know

I wish that I had spoken it
One last and final time
So on the chance that you can see,
I'll say it with this rhyme

​I loved you then, I miss you now
I wish that I had known
Without a chance to say goodbye
Up to the clouds you'd flown.

I wish I could have said goodbye
My heart regrets it now
"I love you, miss you, and goodbye"
It doesn't matter now.

I've never had to deal with death
This was a first for me
I wish to God it wasn't you
Now you will never see.

I know that I'll see you someday
I wish it would be soon
If it meant I could bring you back,
I would give you the moon

But sighs and cries and tears of grief
Could never bring you back
I trust you are in Jesus' arms
Your death was right on track

I cannot see the happiness
Through bitter, mourning eyes
But I know I will see you soon
Under celestial skies

So I won't say goodbye to you
Goodbye is for so long
I'll just say "I will see you soon
When I join Heavenly throngs"
This is for my pawpaw who passed on October 25, 2021. He didn't die from old age, or an old wound, while the whole world was panicking about people dying from Covid, my sweet grandpa died from pancreatic cancer. What a joke. But I know where he is now, there's no cancer, no ****** aches or pains, no loss of hearing, he feels and is better than he has ever been. I just wish I had gotten to say goodbye. Since he was in the hospital, we weren't allowed to be with him But like a small blessing from the Lord, when he passed, he thought we were with him, his family around him, loving him while he passed from this world to the next. I wish I could hug him just once more. I'll see you soon, pawpaw. Wait for me at the east gate. I'll meet you there.
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2021
You said you had no offer;
No option but to leave
I would have offered you everything
And in the end, that was my downfall.
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2021
I dreamed one night
So long ago
Of oceans far away
I set a'sail
And found myself
In harsh and gloomy day

The fog rolled in
The water crashed
But he was by my side
A sweetest love
I'd never known
Drifting o'er the tide

He held my hand
Throughout the storm
And as we braved the sea,
I felt his life-light
Seep to mine,
He gave it willingly

A stranger here
Upon these tides
I knew not left or right
And many days
Had cruelly passed
Since we had seen the light

Oh wicked wind
Oh tumult'uous sea
Oh cold and dark embrace
Oh how we dreamed
Of sunshine lands
Far away from this place

I wished and hoped
For better days
The deluge drew me in
But still we dreamed
Of sunny skies
And sweet, warm summer wind

The waters crash
The sea it sprays
So angry at our laughter
And woke me then
To the bitter truth:
There are no happy afters.
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2021
I'm not
Grand
Or rich
I don't live in a mansion,
just a tiny apartment.
I'm not poor
Or broke,
I don't worry about finances
I don't eat out every night,
But I budget.
I have money enough
That I don't have to worry about not being able to pay bills,
So I am content.
But I am not happy.
Money can't bring you happiness. Because at the end of the day,
I'm sitting in my house
All alone
Save my plants,
And I'm wishing
I had someone to come home to.
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2021
It wasn't a Forbidden Love or a flaming Romance; the years passed by and we
Didn't even see it at first. It was just
A muttering and musing of music,
But when we finally opened our eyes,
It was a burning wreck
Of pain and Circumstance.
Neither of us knew it was there
Until it was
And we wondered how for so long
We'd missed this soft watercolor sunset
But between the gray dawn or fiery twilight,
Still we chose the former.
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