Heart stopped
Wish it would
Mind trapped
Wish I could
Escape
From my head

Eyes swell
From the tears
Feels like
It's been years
That I've
Felt this fear

Waves crash
Over me
Whiplash
I can't scream
Drowning
In a dream

Fog, mist
In my head
Can't get
Out of bed
Wrists they're
Turning red

Losing
Hope for me
Getting
Lost at sea
Lost in-
Side of me

Broken
In my soul
Feels like
Broken bones
Slipping
Can't let go

Hiding
In myself
Can't trust
Someone else
Anger
Like a pulse

Curled up
Bottom side
A pit
Deep inside
Wish that
I would die

We never had a song
We gazed at each other
Until one of us looked away
We'd smile
Or make funny faces
And he would stick out his tongue at me
But we never had a song
He made me blush when we touched
Gave me butterflies
When he wrapped his arms around me
But we never had a song
He replaced all my scars
With his fingertips
He made me feel... safe
But we never had a song
I would watch him when he didn't see
And wondered what his skin felt like
But we never had a song
He made me wish for silly things
Like making coffee together
Or playing card games late at night
But we never had a song
And at the end
When all we did was fight
When we opened up old wounds
And you used my past against me
It took up all my mind,
And all I could think
Was that we'd never have a song.

*******
For making me feel
Like everyone
Who says they love me
Is lying to my face
*******
For making me
Paranoid
About people leaving
And *******
Because even though it's been
8 years
8 **** years
I still feel
Like I'm not good enough
To make people want to stay
*******
And thank you
Because if you hadn't left
I would have fallen in love with you
And gotten hurt all over again.

He wasn't particularly handsome
No lovely dark hair
Or green eyes
The world didn't stop to stare at him
But I did.
He wasn't confident
Or proud,
He didn't spend his days
Being recognized or
Fauned over by the masses,
He didn't even love himself
But I did.
I can't say
That we were meant for each other,
Or the stars aligned
To bring us together,
But there was a
Hope
Of "maybe" between us
And no one else could understand it,
But we did.