I fell in love with the dark of the mountains
And the lights in the October sky.

I'm a bit fragmented
Warded up
With layers
Of
Stay-aways
A whisper of
"Don't get too close"
I'm a little too-easily broken
None too strong
All I need
Is a little warmth
And maybe I'll begin to grow
If only
I could trust
That someone else
Will handle me gently
If only this shell
Weren't made of glass
I might not shatter
Under the weight
Of all the "maybes"
Dripping into my ears
But every atom
Has a breaking point
You simply need to know
From what height
It must be dropped

I'm laying in bed and as I drift off to sleep
A slow
Soft tune
That speaks of dreaming
Drifts into my ears
Suddenly
It is summer
I'm curled up in a field of soft green grass
Tears on my cheeks
Shuddering breaths
Hollowly echoing
From my lungs
Everyone who hurt me
Is on a slow March
Towards me
Reaching their hands
To grab me
Touch me
Bruise me
The sky turns dark and the rain comes
Angry clouds hang above me in a far more furious sky
Fear and dread
Like bullets
Leap into my skin
I hold myself
And let my tearful existence
Mimic the water falling upon my clammy skin
A deep sorrow
Horrible anxious fear
Is all that I am
I wonder if ever I will escape
The creeping hands
That reach tendrils around me
Threatening to pull me into the muddy ground
My clothes cling to my skin like frost to a tree
In a flash of lightening
Every sound stops
The rain continues to hit my face
Like shards of ice
Every drop reminding me of my pain
The wind stills howls
But all I can hear are soft footsteps
The kind music returns to my ears and I take my arms away from my head only to see
A man
Strideing toward me
Weaving his way through the painful
Reminders of my past
As he passes each person,
He simply touches their shoulders
Gently and mightily
And they vanish
In a puff of fog
Like summer mornings
Each disappears
He finally reaches me
I see His face
Never have I seen anything so lovely
An affectionate smile
Works it's way onto His face
He says nothing,
Only reaches His hand out to me
I've never trusted
With more conviction
Slowly at first, I reach for His hand,
And the moment our fingers touch
All the violent storm
Comes to a stop
A sweet melody
Of birdsong
And tender music returns as He pulls me to my feet
He does not ask me to come to Him
Nor does He hold out His arms in expectation
No, He looks into my eyes
With a tenderness nothing short of miraculous
And wraps His arms around me
And all the wretched fear is gone
I open my eyes
I am again in my bed
And though the man is no longer seen at the fluttering open of my eyelids
I can still feel His kind loyalty
On my skin
Tears dry on my face
And I wonder...
I know
Everything is going to be alright.

We've all strayed a little
Too far
From the road
And we can't find
A way back
So let's drink
Raise a toast
And hope
We can find a better way

I'm just...
               Lonely
And I want to die
But the fireworks
And the music
And all these joyful people
Can't make that go away.