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Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2018
I haven't been "okay" in a very long time.
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2018
If only
There were a painkiller
For heartbreak
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2018
And it is in the quiet moments
When I feel the most alone
And a throbbing in my heart
Begs me to go home
Feeling very aone this week.
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2018
Sometimes apologies aren't about
Who's really at fault
Sometimes it's just about fixing relationships
Sometimes you just need to apologize even if it's not your fault, because the relationship is often more important than the argument.
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2018
I wish I could record for you
The noise inside my head
The screaming and the voices
Of the words I've never said
But when my finger hits record,
The red dot starts to flash
And all I hear is silence
When I try to play it back
I struggle with tinnitus, and a lot of the time, I dont even notice it is there. It is only when I think I finally get some blessed silence that I realize how loud it really is. It is high-pitched and low-pitched at the same time. It's like a constant ringing in my ears, I don't know how else to describe it but this: I don't remember the last time it was silent in my head. I don't know quiet anymore.
Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2018
I am a psychopath
Born of hatred
And loneliness
I am bred of sadness
Soaked in anxiety
Wrapped in a deep sadness
That no one knows
I am broken
Never to be whole

But I am on a high
Of gladness
A sweet glory inside
That answers to the call
Of a great survivor
And savior
It beckons me to a warm embrace
Whispering comfort
And smothering me in love

But then
I am alone
And lost on my own
And this frigid cold
Embraces my every action
I can't think
Can't speak
Can't feel
And God
What I would give
Just to feel something
That is not
This
This fragile existiance
That never seems to let me go
I am falling
Falling
Falling in the dark
And ******
I don't know if I will ever
Stop
Falling.
Marisa Lu Makil Oct 2018
It's dead in my soul
Deep beneath my skin
No longer beating
Breathing
Only spasming
From time to time

I don't want to cry anymore
I don't want to hurt you
I don't want attention
I want to scream
At the top of my lungs
Until my voice runs away
Until my vocal cords snap

I don't want to be a part of something
I want to tear myself apart

I may not want to die
But I don't want to live
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