Marisa Lu Makil

Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2018

We are flawed
We always have been
From the beginning
We lived in sin
Nothing we
Have done on this Earth
Can be credited
To our own will
And so we
Soulless wanderers
Continue in our
Own weaknessess
We betray
To death
The one being
Who cared
About our eternity
We spat in His face
And killed Him
In our sin
And by His grace
And He still
Saved us
This world is dark
It is war-ridden
And gut-wrenchingly
Sick
At it's best
This is not
Where we belong
We die
And fade
With each passing day
Illness
Wreaks havoc
Every day
And our sole hope
Is that one day
There will be rest
Worry not, oh wanderer
For He is coming
And quickly
To bring us Home
To the golden streets
And Gates of pearl
To the family we never knew
But always felt
And to the Eden
That our savior
Always wanted
For us
Despite
Our downfalls

"He wants then to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand, and if only the will to walk is really there, He is pleased even with their stumbles"

Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2018

Younger Days

You ask me who I'm missing
And I don't know how to say
That the one who I'm remembering
Is the me from younger days

I thought for a time that I missed the ones I used to be friends with, but I don't. I miss the person who I used to be-the one who laughed louder, and had more friends, and who prayed more often. I miss the person who was happy, and who spent her days in the sun, reading books in the sunshine, laughing with her loved ones, hair blowing in the wind, windows down, music up, I miss that girl. And ****** I don't know how to get her back.

Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2018

Almost Lover

There is nowhere where
I am in your arms again
I'm left without you

To a long lost lover who I may never see again. It has been years. You were my first love, certainly not my last, but you will always be my first love.

Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2018

Untitled 45

The days
Used to drag
And all I wanted
Was for the day
To come
But now
The days pass too fast
And I dread
The future that
Lies ahead

I think my depression is coming back.

Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2018

Ideal

I know I'm not
The full package
I know I'm not
As beautiful
As some other girl
Drawing eyes
Pulling people
Transfixed
To her perfect life

I know that
She might have everything
I know that
She might have the eyes of a goddess
The skin of an Egyptian queen
And hair spun from silk
But I swear to you
I may not draw eyes
But you will draw mine
You may not feel pulled to me
But I will pull you in
I might not be transfixing
But I will always love you
My life may not be perfect
But I will be perfectly
Entirely
Yours

I just want someone
Anyone
Who will kiss me deeply
Love me passionately
And who will spend the rest
Of his life
Letting me do the same.

I may not be ideal
But I will love you
Kiss you
Hold you
And all you have to do
Is love me in return.

I honestly feel really alone right now. I'm moving 250 mi away from my family to be my best friend, and I see no indication that she even wants me to be there. I guess I'm panicking a lot because part of me wonders if it was the right decision. Outside of her, I have no real friends. No one knows me very well, they don't understand how badly I want affection, or how lonely I am. I am 20 years old, I've never had a love interest, and even though I know these emotions will pass, it hurts right now.

Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2018

Untitled 44

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But words can break
My heart

I had a really long, exhausting day. It ended well, but I can't sleep, and I don't expect I will tonight #insomniac

Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2018

Creation Day 2

I am made
Of sea **** and
Salt
I have sea foam
In my veins
I feel the ebb
And the pull
Of the moon
With every beat
Of my heart
The waves
Press against my lungs
And I was born
For the salty sea air
I know its natural scent
More than I know
How to speak
I was taught
Each sense
By the ocean
I don't know land
I don't know how to
Stride
On the ground
The way I walk
On the water
I am a tsunami
Trapped in a pool
And I can hear the waves calling me home