You made me feel special
Like I was worth something
To you I was not just pretty
But perfect

I thought it would mean something
I thought what we had was special

I was wrong

You told me all the right things
You held me close as we danced
You knew exactly what to do
You took care of me

But when it was all said and done
I wasn't all that special
I wasn't pretty or perfect
I wasn't anything special

It meant nothing to you
I meant nothing to you
We had nothing

You made me feel cheap
*****, used.
I didn't matter
In the next room, totally forgotten

Out of sight out of mind

It was my fault,
Just as much as it was yours
I will own it
I will move past it

I will pick up my broken pieces
And keep moving forward

No matter what,
I refuse, to let you make me feel worthless
I refuse to let this break me.

I don't need you
To make me feel special
But for that one night,
I wanted to be something special to you.

What do you see
When you look inside me?
What do you see
When you look in my eyes?
Can you see
The scared little girl
I was growing up?
Can you see
All my insecurities?
Can you see
All my secrets?
What do you see
When you look at me?
What do you see
When I stand all alone?
Is it a girl
So lost and afraid
She can't look you in the eye
and ask for help?
Is it a woman
Strong and confident
In who she is
And what she wants?
What do you see?
What do you see?
A strange mix of both?
Neither?
What do you see
When I finally,
Look you in the eye?
Can you see
All my broken pieces?
All the scars?
All the things
I've tried to hide?
Can you see it all?
Or
Is that just
What I see
When I finally
Manage to look at me?

Unrequited love
Broken friendship
Absent father

Trying to get though them as best you can

A broken heart
A battered soul
A shattered mind

Can't get through them
They've happened one too many times.

You walk by,
        as if I am
        unimportant and
        nonexistant.
You walk by,
        like I never mattered
        like I was never special to you
        like I mean nothing.
You walk by,
        seeming oblivious
        to my tear filled gaze
        full of sorrow.
You walk by,
        like we never happened
        like my whole world was never
        turned upside down.
You walk by,
        and just keep walking.
Just as I turn away,
        you turn back and
        this time you watch
        as I just keep walking.

I wanted fireworks
I wanted something magical to happen
I wanted
I don’t know what I wanted
Whatever it was, I didn’t get it

Instead, I got the awkward meeting of our lips
The hesitant movement of hands
The feeling of something not quite right
I tried so hard
Forcing things to happen

It wasn’t meant to be,
But we tried anyway

We both tried
Knowing it would be nothing more than that one time
Was it worth it?
Should it have happened?
Should I have let it happen?

Six months later you bring it up again
Asking what I thought about it
Did I have fun?
Was it good?

I was honest
I told you what I felt
I told you
But you didn’t say what you  thought.

Whatever it was I was expecting,
I didn’t get it
No fireworks
No magic
Not even a spark

A few kisses
Not much more
It wasn’t right
It wasn’t what you wanted
It wasn't what I thought it would be

But now I know
I won’t regret it
It’s what I wanted at the time but,
I think our time ran out before it even started.

Maybe you didn’t mean it the way I took it
Maybe it came out wrong
Maybe you didn’t realize how that would sound
Maybe you didn’t....
and maybe I’m just delusional
Maybe I’m just making excuses for you again
Maybe I just don’t want to believe it
Maybe this is just wishful thinking
You knew what you were saying
You knew how it would sound
You knew how I would take it
You knew....
and you did it anyway
You’ll never change
Neither will I
I’ll just keeping making excuses for you
But maybe...
Maybe this time I won’t
Maybe this time I’ll fight back
Maybe this time I won’t just stand there and take it
Maybe this time....
Maybe just maybe
You never know
Because I just can’t stand it anymore
Maybe this time I’ll be the one to just get up and go
Maybe this time I’ll be who I want to be, not who you think I am
Maybe this time I’ll be who I want to see in the mirror, not what you want to see
You’re unbelieavable
You ruin everything
You should just go
Maybe I’ll finally tell you these things
Maybe I’ll finally tell you how I feel
Maybe I’ll finally tell you what’s on my mind
The only hope for me is to get over you
To make you just another memory
Maybe just maybe

Headphones in
Music blaring
Deaf to the world
Trying to forget
Trying to remember
Not quite able to do either
Thinking to much
Missing someone you barely know
Trying to remember
Trying to forget
Not quite able to do either
Lost in a daydream
Fantasizing about what could be
Wishing and hoping for more
Trying to be content
Not quite there
Headphones in
Music blaring
Deaf to the world
Missing someone you barely know
Trying to remember
Trying to forget
Not quite able to do either
Turn the music up
Close your eyes
Think of what could be
Wishing and hoping for more
Missing someone you barely know
Trying to remember
Trying to forget
Fantasizing about what could be
Lost in a daydream
A gorgeous smile
A heart-clenching laugh
Brief moments shared
Shameless flirting
Harmless innuendos
A handsome face
A great smile
Full of compliments
Headphones in
Music blaring
Deaf to the world
Missing someone you barely know
Fantasizing about what could have been
Lost in a daydream
Trying to remember
Trying not to forget
Smiling the whole time