"I'm sorry, forgive me"
"I'll never raise my hand at you
I swear"
"I love you"

These bruises on my face that
I tried to conceal are finally
Wearing me
Not all the make-up in the
World can beautify the tallies
Of your anger that adorn my
Skin

Your heart beats anger
And it courses through your veins
Pulps of blood I tried
To hide with layers of clothes
Have finally stained
And I can't lie anymore

You call this love?
Is love the purple bruises
Plastered across my pale skin
That have been left behind
By the velvety hands I used
To yearn for?

You love me
It's okay
I should not be afraid
You were just blowing
Off steam
You love me

I've been swimming in this
Pool of denial long enough
To know that I can't really
Swim, I'm drowning
And my feet are firmly
Fixed on the ground

I am afraid of
The monsters lurking
Behind the iris of your pupil
The demons that lurk
Behind your shadows

I haven't seen my mother
In a few months
I'm scared she'll see behind
The facade I put on
She'll tell me
"Baby, you need to leave"
And I don't want to leave
He doesn't want me to leave

My head has been banged
Across the kitchen walls
More than it has been raised
These walls have been repainted
Repainted, and repainted
My scalp has been snatched
More times that I've cared to
Admit

I'm ashamed to say
I've traded parts of me
For shambles of trust,
A lot of bruises,
Rough ***,
Infatuation,
And called it love

maybe wherever you are
there is greener grass
and brighter skies
that compliment your crooked smile
and tired eyes
and i'd like to think
that you are every star in the sky
but not even the sun
could compare to your light
that everyone could see
only when it was too late
talking to the angels
seems more romantic
knowing that I could be talking to you

I hate
Every inch
Of this *******
Skin
That I live
In

And that's why
If you talk to me
Late into the horrible,
Terrifying
Nights

My face will be
Streamed with
Black lines

As my cheeks
Are as red
As the liquid
Dripping from my
Innocent wrists.

-e.w.

I'm having one of those
Days,
Weeks,
Months,
Years.

Because nothing
Seems to help
Anymore

Because nothing
Seems to make me
Happy

Because like I've said
A million times
And I'll say it
A million more

I am in this
Pit of depression
Where I am stuck
Without a ladder,
Rope,
Or even a hand
To bring me back
To the
Surface.

-e.w.

I hate  
When people
Make these rude
Comments like
"Anxiety isn't a big
deal. Just be
calm."
Or,
"Depression isn't real,
You just need to be
happy."
Or,
"Mental illness' are just
excuses for lazy
people."

Because these people
Don't understand
How terrible
Anxiety can be
And how it can leave you
Paralyzed.

Or how monstrous
Depression can be
And how
The demons will visit
Late into the
Night
Or even say hello
When the sun
Is still in the
Sky

Or how
Any mental illness
Can leave you
Shaking to the
Bone
Or crying
All the time
Or leaving you
Feeling like no one
Cares.

Because it's not just an
"Excuse."

-e.w.

you're not a saint
but keep beating that dead animal like you are
bring it back to life
put those strings on the limbs
make it dance
dance for your world
that you're still so desperate to impress
dance for your pride
dance for your ego
dance for yourself
that's all we ever were doing
spinning in circles around your sensitivities
spinning in circles around what i was doing wrong
i'm hearing a ringing in my head
echoes of your tantrums
when you couldn't respond
only cross your arms
and fall into yourself
where you danced in your self pity
danced in your despair
i'm not the composer of your songs
you're singing to yourself baby
and you have been all along

You complain about Jared Leto's speech because he didn't "thank a trans person" and instead delivered a timed and beautiful and empowering speech for his mother and for anyone else out there who was listening. It was an all inclusive speech and made many cry. Yet you complain because he didn't mention a trans individual. And I wonder, what all of you that are complaining have done for the trans community? Because if you truly want to help them, you should know that Jared Leto saying 'Hey Thanks' won't make their lives any easier. Instead of complaining about the things that aren't happening, get out there and do them. Make a difference in their lives. And then you can complain about **** that doesn't matter.