And I love you with every inch of my being
Though it sounds cliche
It couldn't be more true.

When you left, I shattered.
Clenching my teeth and tightening my bones
To keep from falling apart

There was so much happiness
So much I should've appreciated
So much I loved but never knew

Now we just might be an unrepairable vase
Left in pieces on the ground
Too broken to put the pieces back together

But I love you.
I love you so much my heart feels as if it is being consistently beaten with a hammer
I love you so much I am crawling out of my skin waiting for you to come back

And if I weren't afraid of looking so desperate
I'd beg you to give it another chance
We could be greater than we were
We could love stronger than before.

they teach you to be happy
because you've lived all these years
because there is another to come
but I have to wonder
what makes them think I wanted to live in the first place?

I think the worst part about it is the horrible physical pain. Your body crunches and folds into itself and you want to scream out- just like if you had broken a bone or something. But that's the thing. There's no casts or bandages to put on it- no relief, no immediate treatment. You can't go to the hospital and have them fix you. You can sit in the back of the car and let someone drive you around for hours-scream all you want, cry all you want. But the truth is you're going nowhere and neither is this pain. Nothing numbs it. Nobody can make it go away, especially not you. So keep screaming. It doesn't get better.

it was the kind of love that made your body shake
it was the kind of love that made proclaiming its existence every day and night inevitable
it was the kind of love that could truly and honestly bring tears to your eyes when thinking about how strong it was
it was the kind of love that broke you down, piece by piece
the kind that ripped you apart but sewed you back together by morning
the kind that made an inch of distancec from each other feel heart-achingly far

it is the kind of love that still keeps me awake at night
clinging to my blankets
dampening my pillows with tears
wishing that our kind of love could have somehow been right

I suppose it's true
All this ******* is nothing new
You still seem to be blind to everything you put me through
Running around like a mental asylum patient, begging for an answer-what to do
I don't want to leave so soon
But my hatred for myself is growing in a way that I can't stop-that I can't help because you're making it so
And I can't breathe because all your oxygen from then til now has been coming from me
And I can't walk because suddenly the steps feel so heavy and the weight is too much while you live with scarce thoughts
Of me.
And I know that's not how it's supposed to be and you say you love
me but maybe that's just a way to keep your pleasure arriving while tomorrow I'll be
Crying.
You say you'll protect me from all hurt, you'll shield me from all pain, you'll make sure I am loved through and through
But this is where this question arises that I've pretended I didn't need to ask
Who, my love, is going to protect me
From you?

but above all that,
i do wish to say
that hurting you was never part of the plan,
in fact there wasn't ever a plan at all
sometimes things just happen
and i'm sorry for that

I don't want to write another poem about how much I love you
I'm not the cliché girl,
The wanna-be tortured poet
Who's in love with her boyfriend slightly less than she's in love with her complicated relationship.
Because I've realized over these past few days,
what I've forgotten these past few weeks.
Though this is obvious to many,
and to me, some odd months ago,
love isn't simple
Or obvious
But it is there.

You will forget what made you fall in love in the first place.
You will want to give up because the tears become rocks that crumble out of your eyes that have become too tired to stay open any longer.
Because the ache in your body doesn''t leave on those nights neither of you can figure out what to say or how to fix it,
Because that ache seems to reach its peak at 3am.
Because you never truly go to sleep those nights.

You will lose track of the path you were on.
You will go crazy from all the painful thoughts that circle your brain looking for a release because nothing makes your bones hurt more than the overbearing want for someone you already have.
Because you have him but tonight he's gone.
Because he needs you but tonight you're too stubborn to see it.
Because tonight you feel so disconnected.

And tomorrow, you will breathe.
You will take long breaths, somehow allowing to let a smile escape with that breath because after the chaos from the night before, you realize you've never felt so alive.
Because the first time you met, or kissed, or made a promise to each other you were left just as breathless as you are now, from merely remembering those tiny things.
Because the first time he said I love you, your body couldn't decide whether to relax or shake and you were too paralyzed to say anything back.
Because now you both say it so much, it probably should have lost its meaning.

But it didn't.
Because every time he says it feels like the first time.
Because being in love with him isn't easy at all, but loving him could never be any easier.