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Maeve Jun 2014
...
Everyone seems to forget how you almost drowned me
It was an accident they tell me
Ha. An accident.
An accident that you so sweetly asked me to come for a swim
You just wanted a friend.
I believed you, I did.
You made me feel that with you I could swim,
That this constant drowning was slowly ceasing.
I trusted you, I ******* trusted you to keep me above the water.
You wanted to drown together.
You pretended to drown yourself,
And then had the nerve to ask me for  help.
Suddenly this swim wasn't so fun anymore.
I tried to swim away,
While also trying not to sink, trying to breathe
And you pulled me under.
You held us both under the water,
Laughing on the inside while you told me it was all my fault.
it was always my fault
I managed to get an arm above the water; signal to someone on the beach.
They pulled you out of the water but you were angry.
You were so angry.
I'm still not quite sure why, though.
Was it because I didn't drown?
Because I wouldn't drown with you?
Because you wanted me to pay more attention to your drowning than my own?
Or because I could see that you were lying?
That your strange obsession had become so prevalent that you had to mimic my struggle, then manipulate me into staying there in the water with you; knowing eventually my body would get tired. I'd sink to the bottom and you'd cry because you lost your toy.
You're a parasite.
You feed off of the first weak prey you can find and you **** the energy out until there is nothing left.
The worst part about this?
You told everyone that I watched you drown, that I maybe even pushed you down further.
And they all were ready to call me a murderer.
Meanwhile I'm still in this water,
While everyone tells me that I should've been nicer to you.
That you're such a sweet guy, you would've never tried to drown me.
They don't know that you didn't just want a friend.
You wanted a puppet, a toy, someone to stalk, someone to manipulate.
They don't know you threatened to **** yourself when I begged you to let me go. They don't know you were lying just to get me to stay. To let you keep manipulating, keep invading.
I called it **** of the mind.
I begged you to leave, I asked you so nicely to let me be.
You're scaring me, please stop
Please. I used that word so much. So. Much.
But you kept coming closer and closer, acting so sweet while you did it. Convincing everyone that I'm the *****, that you just wanted a friend. That you were the one suffocating. Cutting off  my oxygen every time you hugged me. But they couldn't see that. They could only see the hug.
"What a nice boy," they'd tell me as I forced back tears, nodding my head in agreement.
I loved you, I did.
Until I realized your hand that held me was my own personal shackle, and to this day I am still restrained by its being.
This doesn't even explain the half of it, but just know I still hate you for all of it.
Everyone has left me here in this water, unknowing that I was, and I am still, not safe from you.
But I am still fully aware that you have every intention of coming back and pushing me under.
She drowned herself, You'll say now, with fake tears filled with resentment and successful revenge.
probably gonna delete this
Maeve Sep 2013
And I love the way he looks at me
As if I'm something beautifully fragile.
As if I'm as important as I want to be.

And I love the way he hugs me
The way his hands tug at my waist
And holds me as if he never wants me to leave.

And I love the way his voice cracks
When he talks quiet and sweet
When he shyly looks down when I look at him back

But my mind shuts down when I think,
When I try to figure out how I feel,
Things change so quickly, don't let me blink.

And I'm too afraid to let myself feel
Because people leave too soon
And I'm left with chaos in my mind and pain in my heart

So what do I do
Maeve Apr 2014
I've never been so afraid of you
Never so ultimately frightened
Like I was in that room.

Before you panic, before your face falls flat
Remember there's more to this poem,
More than the first line, yes I'll explain that.

I was unaware that someone so sweet, so gentle,
So innocent with those eyes and words so concerned,
Could hold so tight, while being so careful.

Arms with such a close grip and pressured lips,
Life had never felt scary, so new
But nothing has ever been so worth it.

Now I've run out of words to rhyme and phrases to abuse, but it all comes down to this.
There are people I've known much longer than I've known your sarcasm and wit.
But I've never felt as safe as I did with you.
Frightening, isn't it?
Who is this person I barely know,
Yet have every inch of their mind engraved in my own?
Perhaps there's a possibility I shouldn't have written this.
But maybe I shouldn't care.
Because as you so gracefully put it,
You're all gonna die anyway
So why not write what I must say
it probably doesn't make sense at all and it's probably weird but I couldn't stop thinking and yeah idk just if u don't get it just know it means i like u ok.
Maeve Jan 2014
Since I do not love myself
It is eminent that at least someone does
Because even with that,
My anchor is loosening
Maeve Jun 2015
they teach you to be happy
because you've lived all these years
because there is another to come
but I have to wonder
what makes them think I wanted to live in the first place?
Maeve Jul 2014
Travel he must
And travel he will
But never without the public expectation
That he was there to ****.

He took to the sky
With his dulled chocolate skin
Ah, the perfect scapegoat
The man in the turban

Typical and expected,
There is a bomb on this flight.
But not so expected, yet so typical,
The man who placed it here is white

With guilt and regret,
He watches the passengers go up in flames
Though he is glad that his country
will be given a different person to blame

A terrorist
When will they leave us alone?

I'm just curious
Does anyone even remember what country we've been told they're from?

That brown man did not bomb that plane
He did not come here with intentions to destroy
He is not the monster you are, and on this man your corruption is displayed.
Age twenty, to be exact. He was only just a ******* boy.

And you killed him, along with 149 others.
You then proceeded to tell more than 315 million people that it was a suicide bomb, a terrorist attack, all credits given to the Israeli.
Ha.
If you wanted to talk about a terrorist, you should've written an autobiography.

Nationalism
Nationalism
Nationalism
It is a nail that has been so drilled into your very being, it has ripped through the other side.
You are a robot, a political Frankenstein. None of these parts are yours, each brain cell has been donated by a false newscast or presidential speech.
"A foreign terrorist" - wait.
Perhaps the "foreign" isn't needed. Every mere speck of dust from the Eastern part of the world is considered a terrorist.
In fact, is anywhere even really part of the world if it is not in America?
Anyway,
"A terrorist has bombed our plane,"
they tell you.
Racial slurs are heard in every living room, coffee shop, and office.
Thank you for giving us another reason to hate any country besides our own.
Thank you for killing their families, and letting his family grieve not only for his death but also for the fact that the world hates the man he was not, for a lifestyle he did not live.

*Do you love our country now?
one of our government members bombed  a plane and blamed it on an israeli to increase nationalism. idk if any of it makes sense
Maeve Jan 2014
Well, you're beautiful, aren't you?
Something about you makes me want to stay
Perhaps it's the way the breeze feels when you radiate warmth
Or the way your soft, cold plushness feels against my skin.
Or the calmness you bring to me when everything seems to speed up.
My favorite gift from you,
The best thing you've given me is
Clear skies
Bright eyes
And hope.


I'm in love with the earth.
Maeve Apr 2014
Hold on
Hold on
Hold on
STOP

LOOSTEN YOUR GRIP
LOOSTEN YOUR GRIP
LOOSTEN YOUR GRIP
you're slipping

you're okay
you're okay
you're okay
YOURE FALLING SAVE YOURSELF YOU ******* IDIOT

HOLD ON
HOLD ON
HOLD ON
relax

you're holding on too hard
you're barely holding on
should you even be holding on at all

Tell me

*should I let go
clingy clingy clingy oh well
Maeve Oct 2013
And you'd be able to feel the sparks on my skin,
Heated skin, red with an uncontrollable ecstatic sensation.
A surreal-ness in the air so tangible,
you could allow it to embrace your whole body.
Almost otherworldly.
Something just different enough
To make your stomach tighten in a way that forces you to take deep breaths.
Simultaneously trying not to allow your smile to spread too far.
Constant nauseous, dizzy feeling. Constant.
Refreshing
A little in over your head, perhaps.
But never had such an abnormal, overcoming feeling existed.
The excitement spread quick like a disease,
How unbelievable, how untrue




But that's all gone now.
Fly
Maeve May 2014
Fly
They released the paper planes 
And watched curiously with the stopwatch to measure 
How long they flew 
How far they went 
Even the paper planes had more consciousness of where they were going 
I was lost 
I was stuck in the air 
A sky unfamiliar to me 
A mere few feet from the ground 
But unable to hit the surface 
Trailing along 
Wondering when the wind would stop 
The paper planes had landed
When would I?
Maeve Oct 2013
Please don't bring me back to that night
Please don't ever
Because when the back muscles become tight
And my head is surrounded by a familiar pressure

I break down, down, down,
Nobody can save me from this trap
He's back, the night's back, it's much worse than it sounds
I can't hide from it. I think the thin emotional strings fighting to hold me together just might snap.

Save me, don't leave me alone
Tangle my hands in my hair and kick
Don't come near me I scream, please no
The mere memory is enough to make me sick

Please I beg let me be
Let me forget you and what you've done
Let me blind myself from those eyes of yours, those eyes I never again want to see
Remove the tape from my mouth; the cover over my eyes; please let me finally see the sun
Maeve Jan 2015
I suppose it's true
All this ******* is nothing new
You still seem to be blind to everything you put me through
Running around like a mental asylum patient, begging for an answer-what to do
I don't want to leave so soon
But my hatred for myself is growing in a way that I can't stop-that I can't help because you're making it so
And I can't breathe because all your oxygen from then til now has been coming from me
And I can't walk because suddenly the steps feel so heavy and the weight is too much while you live with scarce thoughts
Of me.
And I know that's not how it's supposed to be and you say you love
me but maybe that's just a way to keep your pleasure arriving while tomorrow I'll be
Crying.
You say you'll protect me from all hurt, you'll shield me from all pain, you'll make sure I am loved through and through
But this is where this question arises that I've pretended I didn't need to ask
Who, my love, is going to protect me
From you?
read at a faster pace bc idk that's how I heard it in my head
He
Maeve Jan 2015
He
Never has it been so easy
To say I love you.
To mean it, truly mean it.
It's almost enough to make me believe in Heaven,
The feeling of your body wrapped around mine
Or your lips on my neck.
You've given me courage to try new things
But also to refuse to abide by rules which I do not approve of.
You've become the only one who has ever made me feel safe,
Or made me laugh that hard.
I'd say this is a tacky poem
But you'd just mock me in a voice that sounds nothing like me, by the way.
Someday we'll have all the things we've wished for.
But honestly,
I already have everything I want here with you.
i love you
Him
Maeve Mar 2014
Him
Now I have a new mission
He just needs someone to fix him
He's been using the temporary release
But it'll only be so long before the temporary cure will cease
Sometimes I may have to cover the gun he's pointing at me
But he'll throw it away as soon as he sees
You're not crazy, my dear
You're innocent and sweet, and it shows with each tear
I'll be here for you, I won't leave like the others
Just lay with me here under the covers
Close your eyes and find something calming in what I say
I'll do whatever I can to make it okay
Maeve Sep 2013
I think I'm afraid of you.
I think I must be.
Afraid of how I don't feel unsafe
when you say things that used to make me cringe
Afraid of how I in fact smile when you say those things.
Afraid of how I've never been afraid of you.
I guess what I'm trying to say;
Or what I've already said,
Is that I'm afraid of scary you're not,
Of how scary this isn't,
And how scared I'm not.
Maybe I've just never felt this comfortable before.
Maeve Aug 2015
And I love you with every inch of my being
Though it sounds cliche
It couldn't be more true.

When you left, I shattered.
Clenching my teeth and tightening my bones
To keep from falling apart

There was so much happiness
So much I should've appreciated
So much I loved but never knew

Now we just might be an unrepairable vase
Left in pieces on the ground
Too broken to put the pieces back together

But I love you.
I love you so much my heart feels as if it is being consistently beaten with a hammer
I love you so much I am crawling out of my skin waiting for you to come back

And if I weren't afraid of looking so desperate
I'd beg you to give it another chance
We could be greater than we were
We could love stronger than before.
Maeve Feb 2014
just hold my hand
let me feel safe for a moment

wrap your arms around me tight
allow me to relax for the night

don't let go of me
strangely enough, it'll show me what it's like to be free

quiet my fears as we sit and hide
be the one to **** the monster inside

you don't have to stay if you do not want
i simply need even the slightest bit of temporary love,
to just as temporarily silence the anxieties that taunt

keep me calm
please
Maeve Jan 2014
With the ****,
The ****** of mind,
Deprived of the only thing that could fill
The dark void that is one of a kind

Slayed your soul,
******* your thoughts
On you she took such a toll
Break free, before you are stripped by the lot

Who is this newborn
This person I do not know
The careful heart, shattered and torn
Where is it now, where did it go

And I hope someday
You'll be revived,
You'll find your way,
And know that you don't have to let yourself die just to feel alive
Maeve Sep 2013
Let me cry because I hate myself.
Let me die when I am no longer feeling alive.
Watch the tears dry like paint on a wall
But you won't have to wait too long until they again begin to fall.
Let me ***** my sleeves with the mascara that will run.
Let me double over in regret for all the things that I have done.
Watch me mime the silent screams
And realize people are never as sane as they seem.
Let me shake until my body shuts down.
Let me sleep until I do not wake.
Don't be too kind,
But absolutely do not console me by saying *it's all in your mind
Maeve Sep 2013
With swollen eyes,
Blurred visions fade to black.
Thoughts feel heavy
As the head tilts back.
The small pocket between collar and arm.
How good it can feel.
A safe haven of comfort
Where no problems are real.
Expand and relax.
Breathing measures time like a clock.
Hours pass as chests rise and fall,
Tick tock, tick tock.
Maeve Jan 2015
I don't want to write another poem about how much I love you
I'm not the cliché girl,
The wanna-be tortured poet
Who's in love with her boyfriend slightly less than she's in love with her complicated relationship.
Because I've realized over these past few days,
what I've forgotten these past few weeks.
Though this is obvious to many,
and to me, some odd months ago,
love isn't simple
Or obvious
But it is there.

You will forget what made you fall in love in the first place.
You will want to give up because the tears become rocks that crumble out of your eyes that have become too tired to stay open any longer.
Because the ache in your body doesn''t leave on those nights neither of you can figure out what to say or how to fix it,
Because that ache seems to reach its peak at 3am.
Because you never truly go to sleep those nights.

You will lose track of the path you were on.
You will go crazy from all the painful thoughts that circle your brain looking for a release because nothing makes your bones hurt more than the overbearing want for someone you already have.
Because you have him but tonight he's gone.
Because he needs you but tonight you're too stubborn to see it.
Because tonight you feel so disconnected.

And tomorrow, you will breathe.
You will take long breaths, somehow allowing to let a smile escape with that breath because after the chaos from the night before, you realize you've never felt so alive.
Because the first time you met, or kissed, or made a promise to each other you were left just as breathless as you are now, from merely remembering those tiny things.
Because the first time he said I love you, your body couldn't decide whether to relax or shake and you were too paralyzed to say anything back.
Because now you both say it so much, it probably should have lost its meaning.

But it didn't.
Because every time he says it feels like the first time.
Because being in love with him isn't easy at all, but loving him could never be any easier.
Me
Maeve Oct 2013
Me
How naive it was of me
To think that you could ever
Ever
Hate me as much as I do.
Impossible
You could never.
Nobody could,
Not a single human being
Could ever feel the gut-wrenching,
Horrid,
Tear-jerking hatred for me
That I feel.
Nobody could ever want to get rid of me
As much as I do.
Nobody could ever think I'm as worthless
As I know I am.
And nobody could ever
Ever love me
Like I wish they could.
Pointless.
Irrelevant.
Trash.
And just who could love that.
I hate me.
I HATE ME.
And as the sobs drown out the anger,
the burns replace the skin,
And the pain covers my heart,
I bury my face in my hands
And cry some more.
What's the point of staying
In the middle of this internal war?
Maeve Oct 2014
Baby you're a cliché
In every shape and form.
Stealing and lying
Living so close to the edge you're about to fall off

I know I said I love the danger
Much like I love you
But there comes a time where it becomes more of a suicide
Than a seeking for adrenaline

I don't want to believe you've sought out your own ruin
They all tell me it ends here for you
But you still have time.
You still have time.

Become that beautiful boy
The one I know your biggest influence would've wanted you to be
The one you're truly meant to be
We're losing you, love.

You've given up on the rest
Maybe all the blame put on you before his departure
Was what made you start taking on the actual crimes
But I can't stand to see you behind those cruel taunting bars

I can still see that innocent, sad boy in you
The pure, loving one you've told me I bring out
I'll kiss it all better, every second of every day
Until I can get that boy back

I know you're not okay
But neither are we
So let me fix you
Or at least let me try
Maeve Oct 2013
I'm not particularly fond of the yearning
This craving for what made the black hole
Shrink; disappear into itself.
For what made the glassy eyes
And the whispers filled with  cries
Dry and silence.
For what made a once quivering lip
Come to a halt, and a crying girl smile.
No, I do not long for the person that did this.
Not for the one that emitted the happiness.
I
Simply,
Solely wish for the happiness itself.
The ecstatic racing in my body-
It almost made me sick.
All the fear, the sadness, the panic
Dissolved; replaced by this person's power.
I just want the feelings back.
With that said,
This poem is in slight code
Because I refuse to give you the satisfaction
Of telling you what you think you know.
Maeve Oct 2013
He says he's numb to the world
And though he wishes it were true
While he allows the thoughts in his mind to quarrel
I'm sorry my dear, but the world is numb to you.

Every word he hears pinches a nerve
And every lost love he has passes by
But the world watches as if this is something he must learn
As if he hasn't had enough reasons to cry

I'm sorry, love,
I'm sorry things happen like this
And though I see you smile some,
I know it doesn't change all the things I just wish I could fix
For you Ry
Maeve Sep 2013
There was a girl who cared too much.
She loved and she loved
But all she got back was her torn heart in her hand,
Crushed, crushed, crushed.

She'd throw her last penny in the wishing well
In hopes that life would be better
For a girl from a faraway land,
Living through hell.

She'd let the Prince break her heart,
Smash it to pieces time and time again,
Just so he could realize that there was a different princess,
With whom a relationship should start.

Though all of this may sound quite depressing,
She is always filled with joy at the thought
That someone is finally getting what they desire,
Yes, she considers this personality trait a blessing.

Give, give, give, giving girl.
Do what makes you happy, give your love to the world.
Take, take, take, Take until she can no longer live.
Do what you do best, world; and take advantage of the fact that she'll always forgive.

One last thing before I go.
A story about the girl's murderer,
A heartless friend who ended her life in youth.
You mustn't let the nursery rhyme fool you, so here's the honest truth.

She sat happily on the wall, when all of the sudden she felt a hard shell.
Humpty Dumpty had pushed her off, with all intentions of letting her fall.
She grasped for him to save her, her last words being as caring as she-
I hope he doesn't feel guilty, I know this happened accidentally! -
But don't worry, karma delivered its share. as Humpty Dumpty lost his balanced
And fell off the wall as well.
Maeve Mar 2015
it was the kind of love that made your body shake
it was the kind of love that made proclaiming its existence every day and night inevitable
it was the kind of love that could truly and honestly bring tears to your eyes when thinking about how strong it was
it was the kind of love that broke you down, piece by piece
the kind that ripped you apart but sewed you back together by morning
the kind that made an inch of distancec from each other feel heart-achingly far

it is the kind of love that still keeps me awake at night
clinging to my blankets
dampening my pillows with tears
wishing that our kind of love could have somehow been right
Maeve Jan 2014
The television blares, it blinks, it shakes
A cup falls out of the cabinet, it flies, it jumps
They shatter.
Someone's banging on the door, they scream, they holler
She's laughing in your ear, a witch-like cackle
Ha-ha-ha That's all she's says, that's all she does
You keep your head facing forward, don't dare to look around
It's all madness, the footsteps on the ground
Who's creeping down the stairs, you didn't have guests
Who opened the window, who made such a mess?
The laughing
The constant laughing like chimes, it intensifies
Cold sweat, warm tears,
Your body is paralyzed in face of your greatest fears
Do it! Punch a wall, kick a desk!
But sweetie, there is no time for rest.
We must go, we must hurry!
They're almost here!
Who? You feel dizzy. Not another surprise please, I beg you, not another.
The room starts spinning, the ceiling circles you like a volchar.
The small man, with the elf-like features, he's tugging your arm
He's pulling you, as she laughs with such insanity your stomach churns.
Who are these people, what is this hell
A piercing scream is released into the air,
You believe it was your own, but with all the creatures yelling in your ear, you can't be certain.
The noises crank up, the objects fly off the walls
The TV changes from loud channel to channel, from voices to white noise
This is the worst, this is the peak
But suddenly it all stops with a screech.
The tv is in its place, normal channel, normal news
All the items are in their spot, all organized, all unused
There is no laughing. There is no man. There are no footsteps. There is no pulling hand.
But it was all there. You know it was.
Silence. Eery silence.
Now you're left in the confusion of your own mind.
But perhaps you've been there the whole time.
Maeve Jul 2014
Sometimes I wish for someone to tell me that I'm okay
Or at least that I would be,
On a different day.

Because some days, I feel like I identify too much
With a shriveling flower
Too late to be saved, too bent and crushed

But nobody wants to tell me that
Maybe they don't care. I don't blame them.
I don't deserve to be saved. But that doesn't change the facts.

Maybe the reason most depressed people
Become killers of the monster that has now become themselves
Is because it already feels like death; dying.
Like holding onto the edge of a cliff that you know you're going to fall off of.
But there's your family, your friends, all the people you love, begging you not to let go.
Even though you know. You know
Eventually you'll slip, and they'll hate you for it.

Don't let me slip.
Don't stand there and beg, hold onto me.
*Please?
idk i might delete this dont look at me
Maeve Oct 2013
His arms
His lips
His hands
Venemous to the core
They stung as they touched me
But so excitingly painful.
I knew he'd left his mark
I knew the poison would spread
And the walls I built would slowly deteriorate
Break me down as he found his next victim
But he was a drug
An addiction
Something I couldn't escape.
The way my stomach jolted
When those fingers tugged at my hips
The way my body froze
When he kissed my lips
The way my skin heated up
When his arms wrapped around as he kisses my cheek
Maybe a sudden inervention was for the best
But I know tomorrow when he does it again
I'll be as weak as I've ever been
Maeve Apr 2014
Corrupt the innocence
Poison the sanitized
Intensify the danger
Dischevel the brain
Starve the greed
Feed the curiousity
**** the clock
Ignore the hours
Bury the body
Cover it with flowers
Forget never the philosophy
Of the need for power
Maeve Sep 2013
Why is it
That we define one's stupidity
By their examination grades?
By the amount of time it takes them to solve a math problem?
By the lack of confidence with which they speak?
Why is it
that we do not define one's intelligence
By their questions,
By the way they understand how we all function,
By the things they wish to learn?
Why is it
We judge one another by the scores of our school years,
As opposed to the million thoughts that cross our minds?
Have you ever met someone
Who is as smart as all of their professors combined,
But they can't seem to know a **** thing about the world?
The world itself.
No, not biology; geography; or astrology,
But the things that make us all people.
The things that cause us to feel;
To hurt;
To smile;
To cry.
The things that make us think,
Think about what should have turned out differently,
Or what shouldn't have.
The things that make us wonder,
Wonder about why none of us can seem to get a break.
Stupidity should be judged by how much you question,
and the things you question.
If you do not ask questions,
What do you really learn?
Maeve May 2014
There is no lullaby or mattress that could mold me into such a sleep that laying on another provides. The soft rise and fall of their chest, perfectly collaborating with your own. The loud yet slow heartbeat reminds us that though this sleep feels like heaven, we have never been more alive. When the cold breeze chills the skin, there is a warmer sun beating down against my back, your chest, my neck, your cheeks. And we lay in the silence contently thinking that nothing had been, or could ever be, so simple and soft. That moment we never left. Weeks, months, years go on; but we lay there in that moment forever still, never moving or breaking the steady pace of our breath and beating hearts.
Maeve May 2014
The devil has shaped your eyes
With that same fierceness that he used to create the anger that fills you inside.
The drunken sag of your eyelids as your brain tries to muster up a malicious plan
All the while your heart fighting you, whispering, trying to remind you the tranquility you possess when your feet hit the sand

But you're long gone now

Past the sound of the ocean and the breeze of the beach
All you comprehend now is the sound of your own scream.
Laugh. Laugh your condescending laugh that stings like salt in a cut.
The cut that you drew with your knife-like words, each time slicing and splitting the skin of my trust.

And you are, you are long gone now.

You'd try to silence my words with a comment through your gritting teeth
Being just as strong as it is weak
But you don't feel that way, you think you've won.
So pat yourself on the back, say good job and relax.
It's not going to be my problem when the realization hits that you just spoke like the man you swore you'd never become

That's when it hits you
You're long gone now.
Maeve Jul 2014
My hand could be bound by yours all day
And I could duplicate the shaky pace of your rising and falling chest all night
But I can't seem to hold my ground.
Just when I think I can do this
When I think I'm the brave one
The walls I put up come crashing down.
I'm so scared.
So.
Scared.
This is too good to be true, isn't it?
Things aren't actually this perfect, are they?
I'm not allowed to be this happy.
This wasn't in the rule book for me,
Nobody told me this was going to happen.
Nobody told me I'd feel okay for once, safe for once.
And here I am, happier than I've ever known,
Yet I can't stop crying.
Someone tell me,
please,
that I won't **** up this time.
I'm starting to relax the tension in myself, the internal conflict, and I've never done that.
I'm afraid to be vulnerable; I'm afraid to be yours, I'm afraid to be happy.
I want it all to stay the same, but I want it all to go away
So I have no chance of ruining your day
i like you way too much
Maeve Sep 2013
He scrunches his eyelids.
Peers through the half-closed curtains,
Which cover those big eyes with a color that has yet to be named,
At the bright light of lovely advancement
That connects him to me.
He's sleep stubborn.
Refuses to cave.
Until those curtains close themselves,
Until only sporadically does the bright light seem to shine.
Lit up with my awake little talks,
While he tries his very best to hide his sleepy eyes.
But he can't.
I know it, I do.
Even from behind those distanced bright screens of ours,
I can feel those sleepy eyes closing.
And the countdown begins.
Until I receive the message that tells me what I already knew.
He's sleep stubborn.
And that's something he never wants to admit to.
Maeve Sep 2013
Long live thy somber sound,
and retreat back for one final round.
Reverse the clock,
and let the time pass as if it never stopped.
Watch me melt like the wax of a candle;
Like play-dough in your hands. Always on the brink of what I cannot handle.
So light the wick, but set me on fire.
I'll burn with these feelings, these hopes and desires.
Though I am unsure if my life's direction is down,
I am very certain that it is to home I am bound.
Maeve Jan 2014
I want something sweet
No, not like food
Not like gifts.
I want something sweet

Something that smells like summer
Rests like lake water
Warms my skin like midday sun
Frees me like a swing

Something that sounds like whispers
Talks like peace
Comforts me like home
Cheers me like Maine

Something that loves like a puppy
Fights like a lion
Finds me in the dark
But puts me into hiding

I want something sweet
Maybe a tad bit complicated.
Maybe it'll be short-lived.
But it's happiness.
*I want something sweet.
I was feeling so summer, carefree today and I've been craving that a lot lately so yeah
Maeve Jan 2014
Tell him he's loved
Tell the boy he's fine
Tell the boy for ever and always
Tell the boy he's on your mind

Tell him he's safe
Tell the boy he's okay
Tell the boy never to worry
Tell the boy that you won't be letting him go today

Tell him he's funny
Tell the boy he makes you laugh
Tell the boy despite his great sense of humor,
Tell the boy that his knock-knock jokes are crap

Tell him he's an idiot
Tell the boy you hate him
Tell the boy even with all that, he's the best
Tell the boy that with him, your life is the greatest its ever been

Tell him he's important
Tell the boy how much he means to you
Tell the boy you need him there
Tell the boy you'll need him for as long as the sky stays blue.

But most of all
Tell the boy he's loved.
Maeve Dec 2013
That day
That cold December day

The house was silent and the floorboards creeked
In the girl's ears rung no stumble, no sound
If only I had woken up, she thought if I only I didn't sleep
And it was her guilt that drowned her, the moment she walked in on what she wished she had never found

Mother rests peacefully in the other room
As the poor girl turns the corner with a shattering scream
She's paralyzed by her own screech, carrying on almost like a tune
Mother awakens with a jump, things are far worse than they seem

Poor little girl
She woke up too soon
And in return, discovered a man that fell asleep too fast

Poor little girl
Now defined by her tears alone
Poor little girl
Wakes up to find her father hanging from a rope
RIP. I'm so sorry.
Maeve Sep 2013
The real world* they say
Why is that world so real?
What makes it different?
The trees?
The water?
The air?
No, that's not what you mean.
The feelings.
Yes, that is what you mean.
I do not know of serious emotions
because I am young.
I am young and inexperienced.
Love?
I'm merely a child!
A child feeling love?
Preposterous.
I know nothing of the sort.
I may have loved my parents, my grandparents, my friends
But no. I do not understand love.
Stress?
I'm merely a child!
A child being stressed?
Unheard of.
I know nothing of the sort.
Sure, my sanity, my grades, my happiness may be
slipping through my fingers.
But no. I do not understand stress.
Depression?
I'm merely a child!
A child being clinically depressed?
Impossible.
I know nothing of the sort.
Maybe I am too sad to get out of bed some days,
maybe I am in love with hating myself.
But no. I do not understand depression.
These emotions.
These issues,
to say the least.
They all contribute to this real world of yours.
But that world is for adults.
That world is for those who are mature enough to understand.
That world is for the middle-aged man,
Drunk and jobless, throwing his life away for the liquor cabinet.
That world is for the overworked business woman,
Bothered by her children, the children just desperate for love.
That world is for those who live
That world is for those who *experience

That world is not for me.
Nor you.
Nor the child in the treatment center.
Because we are young.
Maeve Apr 2015
I think the worst part about it is the horrible physical pain. Your body crunches and folds into itself and you want to scream out- just like if you had broken a bone or something. But that's the thing. There's no casts or bandages to put on it- no relief, no immediate treatment. You can't go to the hospital and have them fix you. You can sit in the back of the car and let someone drive you around for hours-scream all you want, cry all you want. But the truth is you're going nowhere and neither is this pain. Nothing numbs it. Nobody can make it go away, especially not you. So keep screaming. It doesn't get better.
not a poem sorry
Maeve Sep 2013
The world is yours
I want for the sound of those words to ring in my eardrums.
Because in honesty,
When you are told this by someone of importance in your life,
They don't mean the true world, the one we all live in.
They mean their world.
They mean my world.
Our world, just ours.
Somewhere I can really be important in
Somewhere I can really matter
Somewhere I can feel safe
The world is yours*
To hate; to love
To live in
To be free
To feel a feeling that is so overwhelming charging with ecstasy
That your arms; your legs; your stomach;
every part of your body seems as if it has just been
shocked, revived, jolted.
Because the world is yours
Your world has finally become your own; you have become
so important in someone's life that...they gave it to you.
Maeve Jan 2014
To lay in the light sheets that cover what they must
To enjoy the light breeze that confuses love w lust
To trace patterns on my naked back
To run fingers around the muscles that I lack
To fall asleep on a rough Saturday night
To wake up on a rainy Sunday morning
To enjoy each other's company
Maeve Nov 2014
And the world is too loud
I'm struggling to hear my own thoughts now
Maybe it's not the first time in my life I've wanted a drink to down
Or a blunt and join the crowd
But that's not helpful to me
Though sometimes it feels as if blurry vision would help me see
And you ******* in my ear isn't exactly the way I want it to be
But I guess that's how things go
When I'm happy I want the world to know
And when my mind returns to its discheveled state I'd rather not have it show
We're all desperate for the love but every time it comes I forget how to say a word other than no
Maeve Jan 2014
The world is cruel
The world is mean
The world is filled
With people like me
Maeve Sep 2013
He loved his teacup.
A souvenir; one of a kind.
He treated it with such respect; for a minute it almost had peace of mind.

He loved his teacup.
He admired it every day.
Making sure it knew how special it was, with all the words he could say.

He loved his teacup.
Showed it off to the world.
The little teacup finally felt important, more than just a container where tea was swirled.

Then again, maybe he didn't love his teacup,
Because, one day, he dropped it.
He left it on the floor, where all the broken pieces still sit.

But the world was in his favor,
There was something more special somewhere close!
And the broken teacup piece started to wither like a rose.

Don't fret though, don't be sad for the teacup.
A passerby saw it there, broken and confused.
A sweet person really; and back together the pieces were glued.
Maeve Jan 2015
but above all that,
i do wish to say
that hurting you was never part of the plan,
in fact there wasn't ever a plan at all
sometimes things just happen
and i'm sorry for that
Maeve Nov 2013
As minutes turn into years
Less people pretend to care about your tears
Maeve Jul 2014
When tears fall from my eyes,
It is my whole body and heart that cries
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