this is me saying
that i don't care how i am
treated, i love you.

i walk you to class, our stubby legs powering through the hallways.
i try so desperately to keep my hands on my books, although the digits reach towards yours on their own accord.
we walk, laughing at your friends.
i know i’ll be quite late to class, i always have to push it.
if i had it my way, neither of us would attend first period.
your baggy clothes would come off, the constricting binder would go on.
i’d fix up your hair and make you feel comfortable.
i’d give you a sweater of mine and i’d whisk you into my soccer mom van.
i’d drive us far away, my hand glued to yours the whole way.
we’d go out, ignoring stares and just being.
we can’t do that here.
here i can’t even call you mine.
i have to spend 8 hours without seeing you and 8 hours without holding you it’s like i’m spending 8 hours without loving you.
that’s why i walk you to class.
you go to freshmen biology while i go to college level composition.
you take french one, i’m in spanish four.
i drop you off.
super christian Abbie gives me a look.
but god, i’d love to see her face if i had it my way.
i’d pin you up against someone’s locker, preferably hers, and call you mine, claim you as me, you’d be mine.
we wouldn’t care.
Abbie’s face would contort into a sour look like someone squirted lemon juice in her mouth, her mind searching for bible verses to condemn us with, her hands already grasping markers to scrawl “god hates ****” in big angry letters on poster boards.
but you’d be mine.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

i don't know what to
do anymore, i'm drowning,
i'm so very sad.

.
A poet's heart isn't like any other...
It's the tears that trickle with radiance through words.
     It's a treasure trove that hides but longs to
     be found.
          It's a book shelved high that wants to
          be read.
               It's the freest of all birds caged but
               unbound...

A poet's heart isn't like any other...
It doesn't beat to the capable strokes of the artist.
     It doesn't pump in the most vibrant of
     colours.
          It doesn't wield a paintbrush to
          translate its thoughts.
               But it can see through the eyes of
               painters...

A poet's heart isn't like any other...
It doesn't conform to the conventional parameters of lyrics.
     It doesn't bind itself to the requirements
     of musical harmony.
          It doesn't follow the conventions of
          genres.
               But it sings its voice loud without
               restrictions of melody...

A poet's heart isn't like any other...
It's an open secret, that whispers in metaphoric codes.
     It's an exploding universe, that merges
     back into galaxies.
          It's a sought after painting, that boasts
          of unfathomable beauty.
               It's an everlasting song, that echoes
               within the poet that embodies...

_more than wanted_
_______less than needed______
__________­maybe just a friend.

You don't love someone if you can leave them for days without warning.
You don't love someone if your happiness means more to you than theirs.
You don't love someone if you can lie straight to their face and not feel the slightest bit guilty.
You don't love someone if seeing them cry doesn't shred your heart to pieces.
You don't love someone if you get angry at them for being upset and they don't open up to you right away.
You don't love someone if you make them feel guilty for things that are out of their control.
You don't love someone if falling asleep to their voice isn't the most comforting thing to you.
You don't love someone if their laugh isn't your favorite sound.
You don't love someone if when you look into their eyes, you see a reflection of yourself.
You don't love someone if when you kiss them, your mind doesn't go completely fuzzy and you can still remember your name.
You don't love someone if being in their arms doesn't feel like home
You don't love someone if you allow your friends to talk badly about them and you agree.
You don't love someone if just hearing their name doesn't make you smile.
You don't love someone if making them happy isn't one of your top priorities.
You don't love someone if you can admit that they love you more.


    

                                    B.S.

our highs are like the
himalayas and our lows;
death valley. but all
i want is to be at sea
level with you.