I wish I could skin you of sadness
and offer you more than just
two arms
a shoulder
a heartbeat.

Commitments we make
out of what?
we're scared to break
something we may have never wanted to start
tied down
by the dream of the world
before we could even fall asleep
on our own
for my dream is nothing like yours
no lures
of everlasting guilt
these petals dont fall
but wilt
under the pressure of  acid rain
that i know is pretentious
but under extensive
watch
becomes as clear as the tears
that graze the heart
I cant seem to muster
for feelings
I dont seem to have

she told me that
tons of people go through
the same exact thing
everyday.
and for a second,
i felt better because
i knew someone could relate.
but i was pulled right back under
as i realized that
it means im normal.
that im not unique or
different.
im the same piece of living
(im alive right?)
plastic as everyone else is.
im not anyone special,
i am just someone
who has
a lot of
*issues.

I did not die.
I am in the wind.
Breathe me in,
fill your lungs.
Release me to the sky.

I did not die.
I am here.
Feel my touch.
It is for you.
Give me a try.

I did not die.
For I was never alive.

even if i climbed to
the highest steeple of the highest church
prayers would not be able
to save you.

i am a lost girl
the kind who will let you stare
into her ocean eyes for free
and swallow your compliments
profoundly eagerly
while always knowing
all nourishment is temporary

i am a lost girl
the kind who has sorrow burned on the inside
of her mouth
nothing can take the taste away
not even love not even people
who said they would stay
because she knows more than anyone
that they never do

i am a lost girl
the kind whose passion will tug on your heartstrings
so hard you will be able to feel
the vibrations throughout your entire body
long after she has left you
covered in kisses and invisible bows
stranded on an abandoned
railroad pleading
for release

i am a lost girl
the kind that knows what she wants
but does not have enough drive or self esteem
to keep  a solid grasp
for certainty has always been like sand
slowly slipping through her fingers

i am a lost girl
the kind that will settle on what little power
she has left
the kind that will sing you to sleep
if in turn you will tell her
just once
that she is beautiful regardless
of if you mean it
or not.

still trying to find my
voice
even when im
drowing in a
never ending sea of
them.