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 Jul 2013 madeline may
j
you knew me better than anybody
and some may see this as a good thing
a chance for someone to finally care
about the girl that hid behind a façade
all of her life

but you saw this as nothing more
than an opportunity to break down
the next of your many victims
to lead them into the falsest sense of security
that there could ever possibly be
with the i love yous and forevers
then tear them down
and try to destroy them

but when you left
after trying to hurt me
you did nothing more
than save me
dear, ex boyfriend
 Jul 2013 madeline may
Morgan
People are gentle when their hearts are broken
The people who are the meanest to themselves
Are the people who are the kindest to others
I never hurt anyone when I was in pain
I'm sorry for healing
 Jul 2013 madeline may
j
erase my mind
give me a new heart
I want to start again
I don't want to be in the dark
I want another life
where we would walk through meadows
of marigold and lilac
and we could create our new beings
so that they are in harmony
once again
 Jul 2013 madeline may
j
it was the way you never even looked back
or apologised for any of your doings
that really led me to believe that i was simply
n o t h i n g
and you did all you could
to take any light from my life
to make a vulnerable young girl
feel like she was alone
in the vastness of the universe
and that is dangerous
so d a n g e r o u s
and for that
i am never forgiving
 Jul 2013 madeline may
Morgan
I stood in front of the mirror until four in the morning. I counted the imperfections in my face, multiplied them by ten & called it the imperfections in my head.

I wrote to you until eight in the morning. Counted every "I'm sorry" scratched in red pen on white pages, multiplied them by ten & called it the guilt scratched into the blue of my veins.

*I listened to your album until two in the afternoon. Counted every mention of her eyes, multiplied them by ten & called it suicide.
 Jul 2013 madeline may
Meka Boyle
Beauty is an empty cage that shakes the world anew-
Yet, falters at the slightest rage, or faintest sickly hue.
A sweet yet poisonous embrace, it slowly clogs the pores,
Of lonely men of a pious race, slumped against heavens doors.
A heavy weight upon the back of those cursed enough to bear it,
Turned to salt for looking back, now eternally doomed to share it.
The elegance of poise and grace send shackles up the palms
Of the amorous eyes of a lover's face- the most perverted kind of alms.
Oh, Aphrodite had her laugh, her poor afflicted soul,
And now she revels in the past, as penance casts its toll
Upon her sweet reflection, the sole source of her empty joy-
As her heart cries out dejection in the name of Helen of Troy.
Ah, fragile bird have you no cause- to hide your face with shame?
Does happiness subdue your flaws- or is humility to blame?
A lepers skin can hardly hold the burden of an empty nation,
Yet, still the world has bought and sold innocence for infatuation.
There's a subtle pain beneath the ring of a mother's sordid song,
Still she bites her lip as she's forced to sing,  while the audience treads on.
The ****** Mary cast her lot among those new and pure,
Then temptation came from Camelot, and knocked her to the floor.
It's faith that holds her safe and whole, a figurine atop a shelf
Alas, her eyes so bright were smeared with coal, for love has lost itself.
Yes, virtue finds her strength in those too weak to carry further,
Doomed to bear a thorny rose, eternally sworn to serve her.
She's rattling her bones again, in hope for something hidden,
Beneath the glistening shards of glass, twisting and churning within.
How sweet it is to stomp the ground of all that hides the eye
From righteousness and morals sound- is beauty but a lie?
Rituals and good intent lay stagnant at the feet
Of Cleopatra's testament, too indifferent for defeat.
Heaven thrives as the world recoils, collapsing crumpled to the floor-
A rotten corpse of ancient toils, too tired to implore.
I've heard the sirens sing their alms, with intentions pure as snow-
As sailors mindlessly follow along, cursing the maidens as they go.
There's something to be said about a grace so bent on fate
Of that which crafts a sultry face: vanity in its purest state.
 Jul 2013 madeline may
j
fingertips
pulsating against my spine
you could see inside of me
into my mind
                               i swear
and i don't know how
but from the second we spoke
you knew me
and i knew you
and i fooled myself into thinking
that this was love
          the most debauched and broken kind that there is
hearts and souls
broken far beyond repair
and my mind
had been twisted
into something unruly
something that is convinced
it is no way worthy
of true love
only hatred and pain
and i was convinced that this was true
until now
until i found happiness
in you leaving
and discovered a new way
to live in harmony with nature
and all of her ways
to love oneself
before loving another
to smile at the way
the wind blows
and the trees whisper
and allow the moon
the stars
the sun and the plants
to lighten my way
 Jul 2013 madeline may
hkr
i hope you choke
on every i love you
**** you
****
you.
 Jul 2013 madeline may
marina
i'm scared of falling in                
love again (because i don't                                    
want to be more fragile than)
i already am
"nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you"
okay, the history of love by nicole krauss is a beautiful, beautiful book. i just finished it yesterday and i'm seriously considering picking it up again.  
also, hi.  i'm back from camp.  lots of things happened, and i have a lot of emotions.  most of them are good.  read this with or without the parenthesis.  it's all the same.
 Jul 2013 madeline may
j
sit with me, just for a while
tell me everything I did
to deserve this tragic fate
that is your love

tell me why, after all the good that I have done
why my life came to this
to you
to us

isn't it just cruel?
those endless nights I spent with you
trying to save you
when I couldn't even save myself

the sleepy days that were filled with your hateful words
your spiteful attitude
the insults and the way
that I was always wrong

you found pleasure
in leaving me lonesome
and almost broken
yet still agonisingly alive

and now that I am happy
and have found myself to be
at one with the world and her love
you think that you can come back?

for you can try to hold the past against me
and you can try to put me down
but months on
I am happy now

and I am the real winner here, my dear
because since you left
I have escaped fear, and all of his friends
I can smile proudly and truthfully

I can say that I won this battle
and it was nice to see you lose
because after everything you put me through
I no longer deserve your abuse
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