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 Aug 2013 madeline may
Morgan
The sky is bright on a Sunday afternoon
My neighbor steps outside
He's got his pitbull on a leash
And he's rocking a pair of bare feet
I'm lying in the grass
Inhaling menthol
And listening to the cars hurry past
His eyes narrow to protect themselves
from the burning sun
When he waves,
I just nod
We're friends
We're friends because we say hello
And we never ask questions...
We just kind of know
He hears me weep from the edge of my bed
I hear him scream at the stars
When he stumbles out into the night
Just two normal people
When the days are turning
And the public is watching,
But we know more about each other
Than anyone else ever will
Without even knowing each other's names
And so we give that omniscient smile,
Like
*"Hey I'm crazy too
We're gonna make it through"
And we do
My alcoholic, pitbull having neighbor & I
We make it through
And no one knows
And no one cares
But we've got each other
He waves
I nod
That's all
 Aug 2013 madeline may
Morgan
I painted a red poppy flower
on a white canvas
We hung it in our room
Last time we fought,
you tore it off the wall
And I swear it died
Like a fish out of water
It just couldn't live
Without your love
I think that's what happened
to the potential person
growing inside of me
It just couldn't live
Without your love
And so it wept
And so it bled
And so it died
Intuition of a broken heart,
a cold killer early in the morning
I didn't want this from the start
But I didn't think it'd end like this
 Aug 2013 madeline may
September
I am the jellyfish that sits
in the bloom of your waters,
looming my lines across your ocean
motioning you towards my toxicity.
I'm water, I'm water
Simplicity.
my kitty gave me the title of this poem
 Aug 2013 madeline may
brooke
i love when
my room is
cold, I wonder
when I'll stop
treating things
like you are
still
here.
(c) Brooke Otto
 Aug 2013 madeline may
brooke
i feel like the clouds reach
farther here, the sky is wider
here, the mountains are more
enduring, the earth is dry but

strong
(c) Brooke Otto
 Aug 2013 madeline may
Morgan
I woke up in a pool of my own blood
Stood out of bed with shaking legs
Felt it drip down my thighs
Made it to the bathroom
Threw up twice &
Cried
And I cried
And I cried
And I was cold
For an hour or so
Then I sweat until
I couldn't catch my breath
And I sweat
And I sweat
And I swore I wouldn't blame you
For the nightmares that would follow
Swore I wouldn't blame you for the pain
But you didn't sit at the edge of my bed
You didn't sing me to sleep
When I needed it most
I walked outside
Once I felt strong enough to move
I contemplated getting in my car
I wanted to make it to the hospital
But I knew part of me didn't want to make it
Out alive
So I sat down
On a lawn chair
And lit a cigarette
I pulled my knees up to my chest
To avoid the shattered wine glasses
Below my feet
The wind blew lightly
Rocked the water in the pool beside me
I wanted to dive in
But I knew part of me wouldn't want to
Swim back up
So I sat
On a lawn chair
With my knees up to my chest
For eight hours
And when the night swallowed the sky
I cried
And I cried
And you didn't sing me to sleep
You never do anymore
And I swore I wouldn't blame you
But it's getting harder to stay true
Knowing that a part of you
Died inside me
A part of you died inside me
I'm sorry
But the same part of you will be the death of me
I swear
And that's a promise I will keep
I'm sorry
 Aug 2013 madeline may
j
vulnerable
 Aug 2013 madeline may
j
it was almost as though ten thousand moons
shone through your irises
but I still felt like I was fumbling my way
through an endless tunnel
desolate and alone
in complete darkness
        vulnerable
with no guidance
even though you claimed to be by my side

a hand to hold
a shoulder to cry on
                    the usual clichés
                    few are able to find
 Aug 2013 madeline may
j
sweater
 Aug 2013 madeline may
j
all that's left of you and I
is the worn out sweater that you left behind
and when I miss you
I throw it over my fragile bones
pretend its you

wrap it round and round and round my body
                          it's huge on me, you know
                          I haven't been eating so much since you've been gone
lonliness           (or maybe insanity)
has driven me to the point
of missing someone
I never even knew
 Aug 2013 madeline may
Morgan
I was so out of control,
reckless,
self destructive,
and hurtful
that the only thing
I'd surrender for was fear...
Then life scared the ever living **** out of me.
Right on time.
Maybe things do happen for a reason.
Or maybe we do things for a reason.
No matter how bad those things are sometimes.
And I know, I know.
But we're all okay.
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