Honey what is your problem?
is it all fun and games to you?

you come here and run and run and run your mouth...
you don't know where its getting you...

pathetic words that come from your mouth
watch yourself darling just warning you now

"stupid ***** " you call me
honey ill give you a reason and live upto that name

so shut your  ******* pathetic mouth there love
cause your running out of rumours fast....

I hate my body.
i hate my life.
i hate myself.
Ive got blades, now what?
What do you mean now what?
what are you going to do?
mutilate yourself.. again?
why?
why do you keep doing this to yourself?
Now listen ok?
and keep reading
thats all i ask
you, you as an individual
you are beautiful, handsome
yes you may not see it
but many other people do trust me
i know i may not know you
not personally
but i may know you well enough to know
how much of an amazing
caring person you are
you have your little quirks
your little jokes that not many
other people will understand
you have your close group of
friends who will do anything
to see you smile
you have your family members
that im sure adore you
you have made it this far
in the journey we call
life, yes it may be hard at
times but thats the point you dont
become who you are without a
few ups and downs along the way
like i said at the start
i may not personally know
you, i may not have even spoken to you
but trust me
you are beautiful, handsome
loved by many including me.
so please i beg you
please just put the blade down
better yet throw the blade
away. i dont want you to be going
through unnecessary pain
I LOVE YOU
just remember that. thank you
for reading this all the way though
i just hope it will help someone
Please repost to get the message out there
im only a message or an email away.

Tell me,
When you look at me ? What do you see ?
How old do I look?
What flaws do I have ?

Don't be shy I want to know, I need to know .. To fix my little imperfections !

Please .. That's all I ask for

Punch me.. i dare you too
-said him
For a dare, i said. but i lied
i just.. craved, your skin on mine.

If you could ask me
one question .....
what would it be?

why did you try **** yourself?
"you told me to be happy"

why do you hate yourself?
"its hard not to"

why dont you ask for help?
"i ******* try, no one seems to care"

why did you leave me?
... sorry this question couldn't
be answered ...

read my lips.

i
never
really
loved
you

Really?
this is what you do
to me,
you might as well
be the one dragging the
blade across my wrist!
tying the rope
and place it around
my neck
and while your
at it, kick my chair...

remember when you said you loved me?
when you held me tight?
kissed my forehead?
and said i was the one?

do you remember all the times
we spent running away?
hiding from the police?
making life worth living?

what has changed?
you kissed her?
you told her you loved her?
i saw you holding her?

but you came home and acted like nothing
happened?
why?
what did i do?
where did i go wrong?

now your with her,
kissing her,
holding her,
running away with her.

whilst im standing here, ready to










JUMP......

rough me up
play fight
kick, scratch, bite

hold me down,
kiss my neck,
tease me more.

step by step
planning my next move
tackle you to the ground..

lips to neck,
hands intertwined,
I am yours ... and
you are mine!

The only place
i want my lips to be
are with yours
its the only place
they feel safe

the only place
i want my hands to be
are intertwined
with yours
its the only place
they feel safe

the only place
i want my heart to be
is with yours
its the only place
it will feel safe

the only person i love
is you
and your the only
person that makes
me feel safe.

Well what do you want me to say
you tell me all these
things and expect me to drop
******* everything to
come running to your doorstep...

no!

remember how you left
me?
why you left me..
it wasnt right you left me at the
time i needed you most

and i dont think ill ever
be able to forgive you.

We drink alcohol
that tastes like hell
we smoke cigarettes
to burn out throats
we take drugs
to **** our lives up
just to forget
for a little while

but we are killing ourselves
slowly
******* up our lives and loosing
everyone slowly.

welcome to the world of
SElf DeSTructIoN mY DeAR DArliNg

Three letters, can cause an addiction ! An uproar, cure an craving ... S E X

Body to body contact ..

S E X

Skin to skin ...

S E X

Hickeys, bruises, bite marks, scratches ...

S E X

One word, one feeling, one taste always on your lips, and your forever wanting more ...

S E X

But that's just the thing ... It's all you wanted ...
It all you needed ...
You didn't want me ...
You didn't need me ...
You wanted *** ...


And you used me,
Had me,
Craved me,
For all the wrong reasons ...

Now I'm lying here once again .. Exposed ! For all the wrong reasons ! I'm your cure ...

she loved you
more then i ever could
take her
shes a better fit
trust me
im okay...

she's one of those typical good girls,
straight uniform,
neat hair,
respectable makeup,
perfect smile,
straight A student,

then you have a look at me..

miss matched uniform,
messy buns,
average makeup,
crooked smile,
straight D student,

I was once that straight A student
but you know ...
**** happens !

shut your legs honey,
its not a good look.

making yourself look bad,
jumping from guy to guy.

oh wait... that's right,
your a ******.

never kissed a boy right?
never hugged a boy right?
never even had a boyfriend?

yep that's right, you talk yourself up
making a name for yourself

now do you why we are ALL calling you a

****!

It’s not easy to say
it’s easier just to show you.
Rolling up her sleeves showing her blood
stained wrists.
And there’s more. She slowly looks down
avoiding the disappointed looks that are
slowly forming on everyone’s faces.
Snickering forms over the next few days
and its starting to get too much.
Day after day
she comes with more Band-Aids
more bangles
and longer sleeves
Comment after comment
cut after cut
It’s harder to hide, harder to cope. Slowly
killing her everyday she’s spending
more time hiding in her room trying to
find a reason not to relapse the she is
going to school and spending time with
“friends”
It’s not easy to show you
it’s easier to just do it.
She finally takes her breath, drifting in and out
of consciousness from the loss of blood and
the bottle of pills with the last words “sorry”

with a body like an
hourglass
making all the guys
weak at the knees
you slim waist
big bust
and fat ***
just what all men
seem to love in women
but when i see you
i let my
imagination run
wild the things
i seem to imagine
when you are around
are a deadly sin
your long slender
legs dont do any
justice baby let me
take you back to my
hotel and please
you show you
how a princess
should be treated
in a palace not
on the street.

i've imagined my death
a million times.

suicide,
drowning,
jumping,
bleeding,
walking in front
of a train,
tying a rope around
my neck,
taking pills.

but  i dont know
what one to choose
how to leave
when to go
where to do it.

these are all questions
i beg the
answer too
but when i leave
it wont be a surprise
you will all see
it coming
and if you dont
well sorry to say

its too late to
save me now.

Your lips look so sweet... I just want to taste them.
Your skin so soft... I just want to feel it.
Your voice so beautiful... I just want to hear it.

The temptation of it all, the blood rush to my head when I think of you
!

Finally I don't have to wait much longer, cause you are mine.
You will be mine.
Tonight !

As I plunge the dagger into your chest, I forgot I wanted to taste your blood .. Oh the temptation was too much

But I can now taste your lips.
Feel your skin.
Replay the your last words in my head.
But most of all I can have you all to myself ...

Curiosity killed the cat they say, but temptation got you killed.

Can't sleep clown will eat me ..
Honey that's no clown !
It's the voices you know the ones tellin you not to eat ? Yeah ...
The ones telling you your not pretty ? Yeah ...
The ones telling you your not worth it ? Yeah ...

You now know who I'm talking about ?
Yes ... But I can't sleep ! The clown will eat me ?
It's not the clown honey I said that ...
What about the monster under my bed ? He might grab me and take me away forever !
The monster isn't under your bed .. It's inside your head

But he is telling me th...
Don't listen to him ! He doesn't know what the right thing is for you ...
But he wants t...
He wants to ruin you !
Oh .. But everyone will be happy !

See those scars upon your wrists ?
The tears rolling down your face ?
Your scared makeup ?

Yeh .. It's becau....
No it's him. He is ruining you, slowly killing you ! He wants to win

Well one day he might, I kinda hope he does .... Whispering to him every night ! Please take me with you .. Maybe I will be happy ?

He will win, he is so close ...
Scratch that I think he has won !...

the lies you
speak,
the words come
from your lips,
but the way
you kiss me
is so sweet,
leaving me
wanting more,
asking more needing
more,
forever wanting
more even
when you caused
me all
this pain,
lying, lying
about her
you come back to
me with her
taste still fresh
on your lips,
but your kiss
makes me forget
its a danger.

As he held her hand for the last time, whispering to Her trust me ! As they jumped both jumped Into the murky water beneath them, not knowing one of them will never resurface !

I'm the girl your daddy said you were too good for
I'm the girl your mummy said will get no where in life
I'm the girl your sisters scared of ..

Your the boy daddy said not to date,
Mummy said Your the boy who will end up in jail
Big brother said your the boy not to trust

But now I'm your girl !
And your my boy
And we are the kids our parents warned us about

the snide sound of laughter in the back of my mind
the cackling sound at the start of every comment
the giggle as i close my eyes
the laugh that breaks me down

when will it be too late
to save myslef
to rid the pain
to hide

bit it is too late
i lost myslef a long time ago
making more pain
because i didnt hide

it was the snide laughter
the cackle
the giggle
but mostly the laugh ......

I've been struggling with this same pain for as long as i can remember.
being dragged in and out of hospitals getting told she will be okay.
that pain and fear dragged me into depression and suicidal thoughts, wanting to take my life became a huge part of my life.
self harming, cutting to see blood, feel blood, taste blood. the pain came a thrill.
depression and anxiety didnt help me much either, drowning me in my own thoughts. Telling me im not good enough and i should **** myself cause im not worth living on this earth. There are more people who need the air and space i take up.
now sitting here in the bath with blades and pills contemplating once again if im worth it and if i should take my life.