20 hrs and 15 mins we spend together a week
Yes. I've calculated it.
And every second of every minute is occupied
by the way your smile
Lights up your entire face
Like a flick of a light switch
"Oh there you are"
And By your self doubt
Which you somehow play off
as kindness
by the way your eyes have
a slight hint of grey
All to knowing and a little uncertain
And the way that they seem to look right into me
Pushing past
Like an optical illusion
Little flecks of red, blue, green, hell grey
Shoot right through me
Cascading a dream on the wall
In the dream I can touch you
I can touch your hand
Your more mature
I'm less goofy
And we can handle "us"
Yes
"Us"
We say that out loud
Like feathers floating to the ground
It wasn't rushed
It was kind
And slow
And sweet
And full of fun
Everyday was like the last day before summer vacation
Bursting through the school house doors
Sprinting to freedom
I blush deep red
Or maybe I wouldn't
Because it would be okay to stand this close to you
It would be okay to tell you that I love you
And I have for months
It would be okay
to say each others names
in the dark
And mean it.
It would be ok to stand in front of you
Filled to the brim with flaws
Bubbling over like a well oil machine
And embrace you.
Because time for me stops when his skin is near mine
Minutes freeze mid air when he enters the room
Or maybe that's just my heart
Freezing the next beat
Freezing like a deer in headlights
Right before impact
My heart
Pounding in and out
And in and out
And you've seen me on my worst day
Messy bun, sweats, and way to much attitude
But you know how to navigate around me
Like a sailors compass
You always know which way takes me home.
Because you are warm fires
You are kisses on the forehead
You are the sunshine through the dark clouds
You are kept promises
You are sweet gestures
You are rainy Sunday mornings
You make it easy to love you
And you make it easy to understand why you aren't mine

One is  forced to wonder
What life would be like
If darkness was eternal
And we lived in endless night
Would love prosper?
Or would hate take command?
Would art flourish?
Or violence reign supreme?
One is forced to wonder about these things
When there is a darkness inside of them

Every Monday morning,
My teacher repeats the same command.
"Look alive" she says,
Even though, I already feel dead.
Along with all the other days of the week too.
And add to that list,
The past few weeks,
And since you've been gone,
Go ahead and add the past year too.

my name is
written
on the hand of
my God

Whenever you should cry
I will be your window to the sky
to remind you each time
that every rain pour is followed by the sun's shine.

I know you'll never do the same for me
because you know I already see
but it doesn't hurt any less
when you pretend not to notice my distress.

You tell me a joke and you make me smile
but this tactic of yours can only last for a while
it may help in the moment but does not make it better
and I realise that I am forever alone in this stormy weather.