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Strangling
Crushing
Wasting
Words struggle to define
The state I find myself in time after time

Weights of worlds hold my actions
Tethered to my primal reactions

Seeking pleasure
Forgoing pain
All a part of a fickle game

Chances wasted
Opportunities dwindle

Necessary discomfort cast away
Like a crown of thorns blocking my way

I fight myself
a losing battle
I hear my aspirations death rattle
And what's the point? I'm sure you're with another boy, I know I've had my share of toys, but it's not the same without her voice, and oh god how she moans, I swear to god it haunts my own throat.
There's a lump in my throat that won't ever leave.
We are history.
      from the heavenly king,
      to the useless trash.

Everything with a past.
      from sights and smells,
      to their stone built hells

We are the future
      Instantaneous revolutions,
      with no clear path.

Beauty in the uncertainty,
  cosmos out of chaos

We are facts,
      for the future.
      images to be recalled
      numerous as the leaves of grass.

Symbolic memories
      future generalizations

Lost in the overflow…

Bound to be swallowed
      by the desert of history
      within every grain a memory

    sand has a past
depends if the sieve catches
this was for my history final a synthetic essay to try and explain what stuck the most. give some feedback please.
Watchmaker, Watchmaker, make me a watch.
Make time go slower but never let it stop
And speed up the ticking when the going gets rough,
‘Cause to me all this trying it’ll never be enough.

A smothered cry
The sands of time
Leaking through a crack in the hourglass.
Just my luck,
The sands of time
Will only last as long as they last.

Watchmaker, Watchmaker, make me a watch.
Make me a new one ‘cause I don’t like my clock.
The minutes seem to crawl by, but only when there’s pain,
So all this relativity is driving me insane.

With shocking speed,
The sands of time
Pressing down and putting out the flame.
Don’t let me lose
The sands of time
Flowing ‘tween my fingers like the rain.
Shake dreams from your hair
My pretty child, my sweet one.
Choose the day and
choose the sign of your day
The day’s divinity
First thing you see.
A vast radiant beach
in a cool jeweled moon
Couples naked race down by it’s quiet side
And we laugh like soft, mad children
Smug in the woolly cotton brains of infancy
The music and voices are all around us.
Choose, they croon, the Ancient Ones
The time has come again
Choose now, they croon,
Beneath the moon
Beside an ancient lake
Enter again the sweet forest
Enter the hot dream
Come with us
Everything is broken up and dances.
Self deceived, I squander marrow,
I masquerade the straight and narrow,
Seasons stretched, my essence hollows,
Desire, dreams and purpose follows.

My journey dulled by everyday,
Monotony, days veiled in grey,
Life's sombre ruin underway,
Significance, my yesterday.

Deceit defends; my bow and arrow,
Mentality in disarray,
Love recedes, eternal sorrow,
Vitality wearing away.

Before me you materialize,
Rescuer, hero undisguised,
Bore truth, bore love, to my surprise,
Abetted, found what underlies.

Imminent growth, restored, I ascend,
Weakness' welcomed, defenses end,
No longer wish to play pretend,
More pleased than I could comprehend.

Discovered where desire lies.
Forever impassioned, we transcend
Forsaw my future in your eyes,
My flame, my lover, my best friend.
When I feel afraid of leaving
everything I know,
I know I’ll still have this, wherever I go:

the air against my skin
these songs
the lowering sun
my heart, beating faster,
my breath
blood coursing as I run,
and this:

I see beauty everywhere.
her smile
and tortoise shell glasses
her picture perfect
delicious curves scented by parisian roses
she steps neatly into the bustling room
and with just a hint of a smile
she stops the room cold in it tracks
as all heads turn
and i must stop and smile to myself
even the other girls desire to be in her arms
even they dream for a moment
of dancing in bed tonight
she leans down and places a tender kiss on my cheek
and the room slowly drifts back to its own dreams
she a tender perfection worshipful and giving joys
she sits with me and
her tight jeans are soft and warm under my hand
and i find myself fascinated by
how she fills up my senses in a moment
i make love to her essence on the air
and passionately tenderly kiss her presence so near
to me that it sets me afire
she takes me
as i take her
Depression walked into my bedroom tonight.
He shoved me all the problems,
Piled them up high, even past the sky.
Then He tipped over the weights and it came crashing

                                                       ­                                         Down
        
          ­                                                                 ­           Down

                                                ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­            Down.

Crushing
My every being.

Anxiety walked into my bedroom tonight.
He stole my breath and suppressed my lungs,
Gripped my throat so tight that my soul left my body
And scooted away, flying back home with Depression.

Loneliness walked into my bedroom tonight.
Revealed once again the rejections and isolation,
The pressure to fit in and
The reminders that I can't do anything properly.
The times I was ignored, the times I was shamed,
The times the whole world walked out on me
(Though they never came in).

I thought I would've felt
Alone.
Isolated.
Abandoned.


But thank God for Anxiety and Depression,
At least they stayed with me.
Because at least then, I felt alive.
Sometimes I wonder if what I need
Are pills or priest?

Psychology says it's just the wiring,
The brain all jumbled up:
Too much serotonin and too little endorphins.
Just another mental disorder on that long checklist,
Wait to be diagnosed or prepare a room in the asylum.

But fret not, it can be fixed with a little pill or two.
It will place you up on cloud nine.
It will cast away all those little incessant worries.

It will cure you.

Theology says it's all those ****** demons,
Just a night terror where those beasts come and
Haunt you day after day,
They attack your mind and believe me
Are they out to get your faith, to get your soul.

But fret not, it can be fixed with a little prayer or two.
The priest could just come in and do a little
Exorcism and you'd do just fine.

It will save you.

Sometimes I wonder if what I need
Are pills or priest?
One is too expensive, and the other just plain scary.
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