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Jay Aug 2018
summer heat
feeling the sun breathe

seven years ago
we were just about to meet

now
kiss on cheeks
we part

i strain myself
from looking back  

moving
keeps my shattered parts
in peace

the sun sets
over our streets

maybe seven years from now
we will be done
with our goodbyes
Jay Jul 2018
on a flight back home
you trade places with the girl next to me to be seated closer to your friends
mine are so far back that i don't even bother

includes me in your conversation immediately

you are funny
attractive
read my signals respectfully
and i like the way you think  

when i drift off to sleep
i hear you telling your friends  
you are looking for the real thing this time

i carry a book from the museum of broken relationships in my bag  

two hours have passed
you ask for my name
it's funny you say
that we've been speaking for so long without knowing

when the plane hit ground
you jump in terror
cut of guard in the middle of a sentence
a hand on my knee
you laugh

with a nervous side-way glance
you ask me out

you could be all i ever wanted
and i still wouldn't be there

when you leave
you look back and smile
you got a sad expression on your face
but good manners

i stay behind

you are not him
Jay Jun 2018
a hand on my waist
compliment

your gaze
******* me

i wish i didn't need it

i wish i could appreciate it

now
i'm lonely if you don't
easy if you do

i wish my worth
dependent on more
than your gaze
Jay Apr 2018
what i will miss

the childish look on your face
when you get an idea

how you melted into me
drew me nearer in bed
like we were meant to lay there
all times

hand in hand
and everything we dreamt of
our homes

honestly
i cant even begin listing it

all is too vast
it ends up
blank

everything made sense with you
and i don’t even belive in that
Jay Apr 2018
when you told me to be flattered
for being someones crush
while patching me up in the classroom
you taught me to mistake violence
for love
disrespect
for affection  

constantly forcing me beside him
in hope that i might calm him down
taught me that his need for being comforted
was worth more
than my need to be safe

when you asked me to keep my no in for just a little while longer
you taught me to shrink my vioce to make room for others
and that my opinion
caused more discomfort
than his actions

and still
after all years of printing that in
you got the nerve to expect me to
loudly state no
and walk away from an abusing man
who use all those expression of love and affection
you taught me
to forgive
Jay Apr 2018
in millions of years
archaeologist might stumble across
our ruins

causing scientist to write articles in illustrated magazines
theories absolve about the daily hustle and the upcome of this astounding structure
analysing the time it took to build it up

and most debated
what caused this empire
to fall

ted talks might be made
seminaries held
books written about the findings
and fiction movies about the people in it

paintings of the sun
resting on our fallen streets
purchased and hung in bedrooms
in family homes

in time
tourists will walk across these grounds
on guided tours
special times during the day

after decades
most scientist will move on
only the most devoted ones will linger
'we can only guess' they will say
appearing in interviews from time to time
'because the only ones who knew
are long gone.

left are only ruins of the past
and forgotten dreams of a once so cherished future'
i know we saved what we could for a possible future but there is a devastating good chance we may not ever return to us
Jay Apr 2018
let me

speak my
autumn leaves
and the consequences of their
swirl

of naked pale trees
shivering

talk calmly  
to the melted snow flakes
revolutionise with the icy wind

purl alongside spring fishes
upstream

breathe dense air
down my sore chest

let me
confess my
storm

make peace
at last
with the
shifting of seasons
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