mm: Poems

mm May 2021

i cried to the moon last night about them
i cry every night, starting at least half-past ten
i miss them, i love them, what did i do wrong
we all grew up too soon,
what a shame, but what can you do?
I've held on too tight, my hands are now a fright
my shoulders can no longer carry,
our friendship is a poisoned berry
too sour, bitter, and everything in between
i cried to the moon last night about them
i cry every night, starting at least half-past ten

black coffee

mm Jun 2021

black coffee

my face winkled and crumbled under the sheets
my salty tears flooded my eyes and burnt my cheeks
my throat in a chokehold and my heart being poked at
my hair is grey and dead, my lips are cracked and blue
my body a black hole, my arms reaching out to nothing
i don't scream a mothers cry
i weep a childs tear

distant melody

mm Apr 2021

distant melody

I hear a distant melody outside my window
being swarmed by the music of crickets,
and the sighs of the cold wind
it gets fainter and fainter
with every sad breath
and every heartache
my distant melody

girl.

mm Jun 2021

girl.

sweet pretty girl
i carry you on my shoulders
left and right, my angel or devil
honey eyes and strawberry lips,
face of constellations and words of a poet
trembling fingers to touch and pounding head of thoughts
is this right or this wrong
a girl, not a boy, a girl
my lover, my sin
sweet pretty girl

because i would totally fall in love this imaginary girl.
happy pride :)

#pride #love #girl

i do not love you

mm Mar 2021

i do not love you

i do not love you
i cannot hold you as you hold me
i cannot kiss you as you kiss me
i cannot be your person, your lover, your friend,
there is no one to blame but i
i do not love you
to love you would be a lie, a pain, a headache
we can waltz in the spring,
and kiss under cherry blossoms,
but i do not love you
no matter how hard i try
no matter how many slobbery kisses, and sweet words,
no matter your gentle touches, and kind eyes
i do not love you
your words are enough
my love,
your actions are enough
but i am not
i do not love you

i never said thank you

mm Jun 2021

i never said thank you

thank you for telling me not to worry,
for singing me to sleep,
and for running your cold fingers through my hair
thank you for holding my hand during a horror movie,
kissing my head for reassurance,
and for dancing to songs that shouldn't be danced to with me
thank you for memorizing my chick-fil-a order,
getting me coffee with too much milk and too little sugar,
and for going on rollercoasters even when you were scared
thank you for coming when no one else did,
for being my comfort during the uncomfortable,
and for loving me when i was unlovable.

lovesick girl

mm Jun 2021

lovesick girl

i am nothing but a lovesick girl
i taint my heart with lies and tell my head to shut up
i can get lost in his eyes, and ill try to convince myself I'm not in love
his smile is warm and pure comfort, with him i can paint a pretty picture and find art in clouds
his voice is safety and his laugh is life
he's not perfect in any way, but his love is like listening to frank ocean when it's too late at night

my own.

mm Apr 2021

my own.

I am my own destruction,
my own monster,
my own chaos,
my own critic
I am my own healer,
my own lover,
my own carer,
my own supporter
I am my own soul,
my own mind,
my own heart,
my own light
I am my own
what a wondrous thing it is to be a human

not so fulfilled

mm Apr 2021

not so fulfilled

I could get used to you
you could get used to me
we'll live together forever
content
but never happily

see you again

mm Sep 2021

see you again

i've written you too many goodbyes, but right now ill tell you see you later because I know that one day we’ll cross paths with each other again, remember who we used to be, smile at each other, and say i love you quietly.
until then, just be okay.
-m.m

she.

mm Mar 2021

she.

she is catastrophic
handcrafted delicately
she is lovely
she is everything all at once
she is angry waves crashing
she is peace,
she is air
she is madness,
rage,
horrid
she is love
she is hate
she is shattering windows and
when light hits glass
like a thousand exploding galaxies

#she

table talks

mm Apr 2021

table talks

we laugh about death
yet it still lingers at the end of our breaths

to my future love

mm Mar 2021

to my future love

i love you i love you i love you
like a little girl loves a little boy down the street
the way my father once loved my mother
i love you as deeply as my mother has fallen
i love you with every word i write and every lie i tell
i love you with every slobbery kiss
i love you with every slurred word
i love you with every heart pain and headache
the way poison loves to kiss drunken lips
i love you i love you i love you
so foolishly
so childishly
i love you the way i love spring
i love you the way i love music and clashing notes
i love you the way i love my fingers pressing onto the keys
i love you like the way i love morning sunrises
i love you the way i love brownies and chocolate
i love you with falling petals and every dying flower
i love you with all the hate i have
i love you with all the love i am
i love you with everything all at once
i love you with all the colors and all the darkness
i love you with all my heart racing
with the speakers booming in the dark
i love you with all my disasters and my beauties
i love you so repeatedly i love you so much i love you too much
i love you the way i wish to love someone in the future
i love you the way i wish someone loves me
i love you i love you i love

untitled.

mm Apr 2021

untitled.

how dare I fall in love with you
with a silly, little boy
with a tipsy grin, and soft skin
how dare i
how dare I miss you too late, and you love me too early
the rain is no longer an invitation to dance,
and the clouds are no longer paintings
and there are no words to describe the both of us
the chaos we were, a mess, a beautiful chaotic mess
how dare you
how dare you fall in love with me
a love so fragile, like glass
how dare you fall in love with me
just for it not to last

— The End —