This kind of love
Scares me truly.
This kind of affection
Is unknown.

With hands that hold
And eyes that smile.
Experiences coming forth.
Regrets draw back.

You show me that being in love
Can be a good thing.
Even though it can be ugly,
Its moments are beautiful.

This kind of love
I want deeply.
This kind of affection
I want forever.

My heart still belongs with you
And my mind says this can't be true
Together til the end we said
Forever you were supposed to be my friend
For 2 years I thought the system did us wrong
For 2 years way to long
My brother, my friend, my hero and my protection
In a broken home you were my perfection
You saved me from myself, the demon I am within
But only to destroy me, I guess I didn't win
Forgotten and abandoned, you own my ability to trust
Long nights full of tears and regret of lust
I want to run to you and still I almost do
I need you more than you think, if you only knew
I know you think it's best for me
But I'm crying on the floor, can't you see?
I'm missing my knives more and more, but I know I've come to far
All alone here I am I'm staring at my scars
I need to feel my blades again
Because in the end they were my only friend

It seems as though
I always want to talk to you
But our conversation comes at a cost
Because every word spoken
Puts me one word closer
To the last words I'll ever say to you.

With hope I could forever speak
With reason and love aimed at your heart
Taking your ears and making them listen
To what I need you to hear
Before you cannot hear anymore.

Carefully I select the sounds I speak
As not to choose the wrong ones
Picking silently in my head
The memories I would like to leave behind
In every moment I spend with you.

I know the last words I will say to you.
They are in my head now
Dancing on my lips
Teasing your ears
But I will not say them.
Not now.
Instead,
I will say them when it is time
For them to be true.

I do hope, however, that when that time comes
You will have already said them
To me.

Oh, beautiful, tortured soul,
the messages you speak
impair my heart
Your age old wisdom
sweeps into my head
giving me consciousness.
My beautiful tortured soul,
why don't you come
out of that
silver cage?
Come frolic freely
in my heart's meadows,
my minds laboratories.
Come sit with me
on a bench
and tell me all that hurts you.
Beautiful tortured soul,
please let it all out.
My mind and heart
cannot live
without you.

I hate everything about you
and yet,
I still love you.
You were supposed to be perfect
and life was going to follow a master plan
White picket fence
You remember that dream?
We used to talk about the possibilities
but one possibility
we never discussed
was a life where you were not in it
Where I lived in my solitude
and you were gone
I remember hating myself for thinking such thoughts
You were my first
You're touch was like magic
wild fire across my heart
And now
A dead tree branch.
Devoid of life
And my love is as dead.
**** this love
it wasn't perfect anyways