I just wanted you to show up
You just wanted a show
You just wanted me to grow up
I just wanted to grow
Except this time you see
Desire hanging from the tree
And this time I see
Fear twirled around my knees
And you always remember
The ones who succeed
And I always recall
The ones falling free
Guess you’re lounging by the hub
And I’m swinging on the rim
You need to be immersed in it all
I need to learn to swim
You surround yourself with glamour
While I play in thunderstorms
You attack my ugly wounds
But your beauty sure has thorns
Now I just want a show
And you just want to grow up
For I am you and you are me,
Wedded to each other’s calamity,
Until this big world blows up

He lives in a world of rockets and dead clams
He flies but goes fishing often
He lives in a world of digital demands
He tries but can’t find a daughter
Once upon a time he used his heart
It got him wrapped around a tree
Such cold, cold walls for such a warm, warm mistake
He said goodbye and blessed be
Now it’s whips and chains and haircuts
Tinctures of manmade joy
And then it’s gone like a picture never thrown out
The lens only destroys
He lives in a world of rockets and dead clams
He flies but goes fishing often
He lives in a world of digital demands
He tries but can’t find a coffin

A little girl and her father broke into my house
Their aim was to steal my daddy’s records
Later they said it was to open a bar
There were way more records there than I remembered
Crates and boxes stacked on top of each other
They let me keep some of the Doors’ records
I don’t know how they knew I liked that band
I panicked, knowing how long my dad had kept and preserved his collection
My sister showed up somewhere, somehow
I asked her to call the police, but she refused and refused
I was bewildered
I finally got a phone, but it didn’t work.
I found a gun
But it was a water gun
It shot out pink goo at the offenders
Finally I flashed to the scene of a hollowed out lake


We must have looked like witches and wizards
Flying on our homemade broomsticks
Soaring just below the clouds
Swan-diving into pillows of treetops
The feeling was indescribable-
Being in control
Until a sister sold me down the river
Placed you on sale to the highest bidder
Words were exchanged
My heart took flight and was broken

God and the devil were in cahoots that night.

In playing chess with death
Keep your visions in check
Scream to the high heavens
And get a moral bellyache

Serpents flutter in the sky
Dragons from another planet
Their song like fire spewed
And everyone loves their tune

A juggler’s ball
Suspended in midair
Death disguised as priest
Your confession he bears

The mustard seed moved the mountain
But my mountain is a demon who won’t budge
I’m in need of a miracle lever
That’s as silent as a heart’s grudge

I saw you fly away today
A brief tinge of pain
Then release
Cause in my crowded mind
I sought relief
I fought to constantly
Crawl out from underneath
Shoulders aching heavy
Like some demon had me
On its leash
But I heard you fly away today
And now I know
That love's too cheap a word and
All the talk and proverbs
Don't do you justice
When weighed against
Their lies
Disguised as trust
The one thing that doesn't hurt
Is the one thing that scars the most
Advice from them
Bad luck to me
Good instinct
Is a luxury
Sell you down a river
For some stasis in bad company
Ready to meet your maker
And they close you off from the sea
But I felt you fly away today
Your quills filled
The ashes of my brain
For the first time
I truly feel safe
Can tell the sterling
From the grey
A real reflection's
Underway

I want to get that warmth back
I’m sick of being ice cold
But with everything I touch
Cobwebs drop from my fingers
Said I want to get that fire back
So sick of being ice cold
But everywhere I go
I simply shrivel up
And all the boys are missing
But one
He keeps coming back, showing up
When he’s not wanted
The masculine goddess
Keeps calling my name
Still I’m stuck
Went underwater, swam in the lake
Hoping to embrace fire once more
Somehow it’s gone astray
I want to get that warmth back

Demon kid
Lives and breathes quid
Keeps squid in back pocket
For when bicycle skids
Demon kid
Little *****
Why so much malice
On one little finger
You're rough and tumble
But you're no Alice
Is that you in there?
The one born in six months
The one born of great heights
Gorgeous and hollow
Nothin' but leg
Disease is born in flesh
Begins in your mind
Your repulsion
Quite indulgent
Stems from lack of blood-lust for us
Makes our behavior reckless
How's that power feel?
Is that you in there?
Love is losing cause it never was
Thinks the dying man who still has heart
As they all turn their heads like cobras
Hell-bent on ****** by stares and shoulders
Weaponless **** tastes sweeter
Than physical blood ever did
Thinks the demon kid

There's a mirror on the dashboard
But I can't see myself
Driving blindly through a fog
Created by the sun's wealth

I know I should have known better
When the traffic light changed
To match the color of the drum
Beating inside my cage

Anything is possible
Or am I just displaced
A refraction of air and heat
And the loss of genuine grace

Free me from these illusions
The chimera and the apparition
But let me keep imagining
Don't take away the inverted visions

There's a mirror in the desert
My thirsty soul marches through windy sands
I hope to find relief in water
But it's just a cactus with a pocket watch

He comes on like a messiah
But true colors show he's just another warhol
Hanging second-place decorations for all his candy's & edie's
Meanwhile I'm overdosing on his love in the bathroom stall*

Now I'm forced to sit and watch you leave
As I desperately point out
That the trees aren't bare yet
And it feels like I'm drowning in a helmet made of weeds
And I know you never wanted to take on my disease
These tears are fierce but these eyes are weak
And I'm left to paint the years with a crooked branch
And a palette of whatever shade I chose to bleed
All because you won't let me follow your lead
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, but you refuse to hear the noise
I guess this is the moment when men become little boys

The secret to life
Is learning to love
All the chaos
We fly with pasted-on wings
Too close to the sun
The melting wax drips
Into the ocean
But if we could escape
By bus or by train
Even by airplane we could
But we’d never escape our flesh
The casing of a body
When the story ends in death
Yes, the story ends in death
God sure knows how to put
The damage on
We must shed our skin
Let the light in
Before our silver linings sever
We’re tied to heaven forever
It’s just gravity pulling us away
Take that thing called fate and
Mix it with a little faith
Maybe one day you’ll conquer the sky
The secret to life
Is learning to love
All the chaos

She pines in vain desire
At reflections of herself
Longing for an explanation
Why her dreams are on the shelf
Made to serve another
Who has conferences with God
Walking in his shadow
Waiting for knowledge to come

Disembodied figurines
Giving orders to stay clean
All she wants is equality
So she longs for his reality

A gentle dumb expression
Is what she fell for
Conquered and seduced
By a child, nevermore
She just wants identity
To shed her naiveté
And gain some independence
From the one he calls God

So long to the innocence
The grace she once had
Now her every movement
Is an empty paper bag

Someone told me a story once
About a genius and a dunce
Both had stories, both had problems
Both would whistle while they worked
And while each resigned to their own corners
Which to us would seem like borders
They sure could learn a lot
From each other
But would they ever meet and greet
In the fields or in the street
Maybe in another life
Maybe on a desert island
And if stranded on some plot of land
Surrounded by sea, ice or sand
Maybe they could help each other
Both can tie knots like an expert

She tastes like lead
But she moves like honey
Away from my bed
Which could use some money
Oh, the moans and groans we steal
From another place
Where we're truly blissful
Where we're truly harmed
She wastes the wed
But she sings like sirens
Away from my ship
Which could use some dyin'
Oh, the pains and shame we feel
From another place
Where we're truly wanted
Where we're truly hated
And I fear
She smiles in every step
A mummy pretending
To be the mother
Of my unborn child

Today I set a bird afire
Didn't know the consequence
I admired their flight
Thought they were angels
But some winged creature told me otherwise

They told me to be careful
But the entire world's a playground
Still when I swing and jump and scream
I'm hanging behind bars
With those who say the answer is anarchy

My soul signs its signature in blood
Didn't know the reasoning
Behind great fires of floods
Thought it was coming
But some demon told me it's a hoax

Today I learned to speak in tongues
Didn't know I'd make new friends
I admired their voices
Thought they were comrades
But some man with a key told me otherwise

I just did disco on the Underground Railroad
Got caught in a fever from the blues
I did a jig to shake my wig off
And realized it was glued to my head
Point your fingers, supply and command

You said I was your best
You said it felt like flying
I say I know you better now
You always were a good liar
My skull hurts from thinking about
What exactly I did wrong
You stole my dress, my friends
My address, you even took my song
How can you have sweet dreams?
When everything is exactly as it seems
How can you have sweet dreams?
Especially when they’re made of this
Wise man told me, you’d be sorry
Begging at my feet
But the clock is ticking by so fast
Is it heaven where we’ll meet
How can the universe accept
Your thinly-spread truth
When it rests on a pill and
A camera in your bedroom
How can you have sweet dreams?
When everything is exactly as it seems
How can you have sweet dreams?
Especially when they’re made of this
Your whole façade is so American it kills me

Buried in the leaves you dream of
Earth from outer space
Just one spinning marble
Swirling with places
But back to this hologram cloud
With angels guarding the eastward star
You try to mould your sword in that sun
But you’re tied to satellite-chair handlebars
So you ramble on with your firewater
Swinging by the rim of the wheel
Tripping on virtues and vices
The heartless are so much harder to ****
Body’s forming crystals now
Trees laugh as you stumble in a whirl
Then you remember what I said-
Save yourself and save the world

Indulge your senses and your appetites
Lust after an aching for desires
Love is always the obvious choice
But pleasure has the loudest voice
Pining over someone you can’t have
In pain, denial, looking for a distraction
It’s a jungle of emotions
Art with a verdict
Cause *** is never as good or evil
As many make it out to be
It’s not ordinary or a luxury
Yet we treat it as the cause and cure

People call it running away
I say I’m running towards something
We’ll all be sold on judgment day
So why must we wait around
Raindrops fall and look like bullet-holes
On the hood of your car
There’s always a victim inside
Wet and full of scars
Escaping gravity with faith
We cling to the unknown
It’s great to see a lighthouse
And angels made of snow
There’s a sweetness
To the acid in your mouth
A silent riot, cold and quiet
We are the art and we are bound

One, shouts the crowd
A pack being herded
Two, shouts the dog
So close yet so far from the words
Three, shouts the angels
Cherubs in disguise of the birds
Tell me, what does this mean
That prehistoric angels had wings?
Tell me something my mind doesn’t know yet
Tell me how the morning makes them sing
Since everyone in human form
Seems to pray on a sinking moon
Minus the cow and the spoon
Cow, will you jump
Cow, will you hold back
Cow, what time is it now
Cow , you’re all you presently lack
Yeah, you’ll never know the pain of
Being a myth
That the entire world counts on
To perish

My Dearest Moth,
Is a baptism what I need
Or an official drowning?
I suppose both will suffice
In deep or shallow waters

But will your voice still resound
When my soul's asleep yet again?
Will its essence be able to resist rest?
Or can I count on you to keep me in dreams
Until the perfect moment comes for me to scream
"Wake me up"

Is death so sweet yet so morbid?
Are the fruits made of paper?
Is a giant bird carrying the weight of the world
With its eggs as our souls?

Do we fall and crack open
Destined for Hell
Or does the bird get tired
And drop the heavy burdens
Telling his boss we fell at our will

I'm trying so hard to decipher your codex
But the hardest part is figuring out
Whether or not you want it broken
Just keep singing me to sleep
(I prefer you over ghosts)

Once upon a time
There was a kaleidoscope of colors
But I only longed to see the white light
I was waiting for grace
Soon it was med-time before bed-time
And a bunch of pills under the mattress
And an insatiable *** drive
Coupled with a sweet tooth
Speak now or forever hold your vices
Dream of the wise men, the stars and the spices
The promises we keep even after death
As everything breaks down in a red bubble bath
Pillow fights and report cards
Off-white lab coats and crazy blondes
Only the end of the book knows best
Even God needed rest
Slit vertical and split the scars
Go and begin your journey to the stars
Sweat out your demons or pray that they beat you
Hope that the friendliest shark will eat you
Ride the wild horses into the darkness
Gaze at the twisted Mandela on the ceiling
Fight the minister in a wrestling match
Self-destruct once more, this time with feeling
My Pangaea ultima is falling apart
As the plate tectonics inside me collide
The craters on my skin outweigh the Grand Canyon
With nothing to lose, pain is a landslide
A chemical imbalance, a childhood trauma,
An improper diet, heterosexual drama-
It might seem dysfunctional at the end of it all
But some were meant to fly, I was meant to fall

I went to the market-place today
Spices and sweet music in the month of May
But something inside me stirred-
I saw all the tables and wanted to topple them over

My past will make you doubt my spirit
My future's a black hole
I can't help but feel a war raging
For who gets to keep my soul

Cause once I felt the venom in my veins
I knew nothing would be the same
I'm clenched inside Satan's fist
Just like my tongue when it met his lips
And anytime I search for something free
I always wake up with blue-stained teeth

I went to the convenience store today
Advertisements heavier than the sun's glare
And something inside me stirred-
When a stranger didn't hold the door for me

My past makes me doubt my future
And the present is all shadowplay
I can't help but feel a war raging
Between the long nights and the short days

Cause I know once I get the antidote
It will land me in chains on that boat
The serpent is wrapped around my wrist
Just like my heart when I denied his kiss
And everytime I search for something free
I always wake up with blue-stained teeth
(What a perfect contrast to the blood I bleed)

You gave me bad news as I walked out the door
Guess the winds of karma are catching up
Still I search for the boundless space treasury
With hooks of compassion in my heart
Your spiritual residue does nothing but sting
Your god is godless in the big empty
Near attainment with half-closed eyes
I look up and see the symbols in the sky
The red and white beads are making their journey
Praying for confusion soothed and fear pacified
The hollow illusion and the 8-spoked wheel
Are frowned upon by the Lady of the Space Realm

I try not to be too serious
And I dress pretty casual
I may not be a porcelain butterfly
But I'm still extremely fragile

My bleeding heart could burst
If I found out you had something to hide
Do I belong on your wall of caskets
Or am I a burn victim inside your lies

Your disguise is disarming
I find this alarming
You could charm the wits off anyone

You're good to me it seems
You say you're on my team
But in dreams you do me wrong

You and your chemicals
Me and my smoke
Mix up the two
Turn a grey sky blue

You and your promises
Me and my mistakes
Mix up the two
And I'm left confused

You love me with your eyes....
You **** me with your eyes....

All suits came out tonight
The fangs, the teeth, the bite
The flashes of great white light
The shifting animals of might
The wolves who can’t help but fight
The trapdoor tree bark sees them in its sight
While the human world shuts its eyes so tight
No one can tell who’s wrong or who’s right

All suits came out tonight
The fangs, the teeth, the bite
The club chokes the heart
The diamond warps into a *****
Her mouth is a razor blade
Those magic folk seem to have it made

No one came before them
The original gangsters
Took a leap of faith
Found nothing is fixed (perhaps)
Silent progression an its svelte curved finger
Starting our engines, we dived through the door
Roaring regression, salute of four fingers
Down is the price that we paid to stand up
Back to the bricks, carved in a niche
It never told us we'd have to buy shoes
Flashes of future opened a portal
A game made of blocking, where no one can lose
Born with our minds blown
We've sure kept our eyes on the prize
Even dumb, dark and pegged
We'll still have our picture books
Our consciousness needs a hug and a kiss
Incinerate cyclic denial
Insinuate a means of escape and
Psychically break with your own form of exit

The need to feel alive and numb
Causes time to fly
We let the witches **** our thumbs
While we lived in cake light

The bluebird in the home is an omen
The blackbird in the heart is a prayer
One will bring you death through pleasure
One will bring you truth through despair

So watch as the flame levitates
From the ceiling to the floor
Feel the warmth light up your face
As you wish upon an open door

The bite from the apple
Happened to match the
Crescent shape of the moon
Soon all that was blameless
Turned into a carnal place
Where all is without
And puffed up
And ****** up
This bad luck
Will last forever
The foliage of the soul
Turned into dead branches
They’re breaking off piece by piece
Falling beneath
Into the fire of no return
Where all is without
And ****** up
And puffed up
This bad luck
Will last forever
Outnumbered by atheists
Who’re always quick to judge
There is no charity left
The stone will not budge
And this bad luck could last forever

This may serve no purpose
I don't wanna make you nervous
I just wanna make you think
Summer will be over before you blink

You see, I am just a pile of ashes, trying to rise from the floor
And you are just a magician playing with your trap doors
Revolving as I'm dissolving as you're evolving

Well I went searching for big bad love
When a demon landed on my doorstep with a thud
It told me not to worry 'bout the cosmic hierarchy
My lotus flower angel's still stuck in the mud
And Philomena wasn't around to catch me when I fell down
So I dove into the fires of the moon's cold underground

All the colors and the echoes of my dreams resided there
All my superwomen and all my nightmares
You casually say, let's go downtown
But I'm not a free agent, I am bound
By a force you could never understand
So please don't take my photograph, just take my hand

But I don't wanna make you nervous
And I probably don't deserve this
I am just trying to make you think
Before this pen runs out of ink

I'm running down the halls
Of the Infinite Hotel
Cause I don't want to turn blue
I'll keep going till I hear the bells
On black mamba's shoes
Don't want to be a sucker for
The green big-freeze
If the walls close in on me
I have a sea of pocket universes
There goes one, two and three

I'm the backwards kid
A ripple in space time
Sent from another universe
In the microwave is where you'll find me
Expanding till I burst
Don't want to be a maggot for
Your plot of earth
If the walls close in on me
I have magnets on my hands
To weave the crunch-crunch, bang-bang

I'm hurdling over sand castles
And up ahead some wide-eyed kid
Is toppling them over

The bodies in the crowd
Merged with the lit darkness
Youth in revolt against life
Amusement in the black woods
Fastening wings to serpents
Clumsy in all sexuality
******* smoke like they
Do in the old movies
Enemies using weapons of confusion
Vultures with Venetian masks
Taking fruit, ignoring the root
Trying to solve non-existent problems
The sounds of stigmata on the ears
Holy fools ripening like corn
Hobby turns into weapon
It’s the end of the world
When there’s nobody to blame
Holding signs that say
‘Tip me for existing’

Bared every piece of my soul
I knew how
Still these trees remain barer
Thrown a hundred frisbees in spring
Turned a thousand saucers in fall
Still pie in the sky wins
Watched a lot of people
Seen a ton of smiles
Still trust is obsolete
Walked a million streets or more
Tamed even more shoes
Still I’ve gotten nowhere
Read all the books they told me to
Seen all the classic flicks
Still most amazed by fire’s flicker
Every city seems the same
Every person less a wonder
Still they say life is wonderful
And the wedding gowns blend into the snow
I somehow like them better that way
Still one or the other seems off-white
Plucked the petals off a garden
Wished on endless shooting stars
Still no miracle of love

Jitterbug to the beat of amnesia
A blood-red head
Dreams of Rita Hayworth, blood-money and blue keys
Landing the lead role, your face in magazines
Diamonds and pearls painted neon pink
A diner with a monster behind the kitchen sink
Look into the mirror and you see that it’s you
Walk into the bright lights of an angel city
Find a room, relax, and look pretty
The dream is broken by a phone call
Snap back to reality and begin to fall
But before you pull the trigger
Watch the box open
And let it remind you of your ***** motives

In my orb
Bare feet on the carpet
Windows open
Incense burning
Releasing energy
Absorbing energy
Organic vibrations
Balancing the scales

In my orb
I’m underwater
Moving in waves
Translucent breath
Absorbing energy
Releasing energy
Restoring my aura
Dusting off my halo

Is there something you forgot?
I’m still sitting by the building with the gold pillars on top
Is there something you forgot?
I’m still breathing and therefore I still have a shot

Some beat around the bush
Others dive right in
You’ll never know
How it feels to be in my skin

Is there something you forgot?
I’m sitting on the beach with a gun and a six-pack on top
Is there something you forgot?
The devil exists so heaven won’t rot

But the past isn’t passing by fast enough
And the future waits but only in handcuffs
And how can you blame all the sinners who sin
You’ll never know how it feels to be in my skin

Is there something you forgot?
I’m sitting in my room with no ceiling on top
Is there something you forgot?
Thunderstorms can make you mourn only if you get caught

Some beat the disease
Others dive right in
Others teach
That no one can win

And if you feel wild and empty, tame but too full
You’ve got the bath, the ocean, or the swimming pool
So stick your head under
So stick your head under
So stick your head under

You wanted to save the nervous boy
He wanted to tame the wild girl
A factory made of damaged goods
It's alright as long as the profits do well
He put you behind the camera
And at first you loved the glitz and glamour
Till your friends started dropping like flies
And you saw the emptiness in his eyes
He was your ally, but he never let you have the spoils
He crumpled up your paper heart and threw it away
like a piece of tin foil

My thoughts, my words,
I purge them out on paper
But the echo I hear,
Most clearly in my ear,
Is the conversation
Infinite feelings
Through infinite cigarettes
Life done
By twenty-seven
I’ll take that bet
The echo of epiphanies,
Ends where it starts
A run-on sentence
Beginning with f*ck
“Your name here”
In wonderland
Sounds less melancholy
Than “your name here”
Anywhere else
I’m in an **** of the mind
I’m burning up
The fury with the might
I’m trumping death with life

I’ve tried words
I’ve tried gestures
I’ve tried tears
I’ve tried letters
I wrote you one recently
About the love you refuse
It’s all I have to give
Still I’m not worthy of you
So like the good book says
If you’re not with me
You’re on the other side
But like a wise man said
Love thy enemy
We’re on the same side

I’ve tried brains
I’ve tried *****
I’ve tried heart
I’ve tried lotus
I opened a petal recently
It revealed the love you choose
And it’s all that I can’t give
To ask, who is worthy of you
So like the good book says
If you’re not with me
You’re on the other side
But like a wise man said
Love thy enemy
We’re on the same side

Please forgive me
I’m broken by misunderstandings
And I’ve turned my insides out for you
But your eyes belong to the world outside
Your eyes…
Your eyes…

In my head I’ve been hoarding impressions of contemplation
My thoughts have run on for extra innings
But if you ask me what I’m thinking about
My mind draws a serious blank
So I say I’m dreaming of death-
How, when, and where it will come
Cause I’m quite aware I could expire before the milk in the fridge
And yet I’m filled with heavy burdens which don’t allow me to fully live
While everyone around me is working on self-improvement,
I choose self-destruction
Perhaps I’ve always gone against the grain
But the past is a broken mirror and I can’t see myself straight
And as I sit in clouds of smoke and think how there aren’t
Enough days, enough seasons, enough of the world to go around
And the billionaires are lucky since they’ll get first dibs on a new planet

Dealt myself a hand I can't take back
Married to the moon with it's icy black
Now it's time to teach myself a lesson
I've gotta learn to fall out of love with you
The world is made of paper now
I'm on the stage taking a half-bow
Ceaselessly pushing the envelope
When I should be making origami
The sun is out, the earth is blooming
I'm an anti-consumer who can't stop consuming
And the boys all wanna plant their seed
But this time I won't water it

I see the ocean in your eyes
The whole wide world in your brain
I just want to be a part of your heart
But it must contain
The whole universe
And you hurt
You toil and trouble and try
But mostly hurt
Will you let me go swimming in your soul?
Will you forget me and leave me alone?
I can’t take either, I’m not strong enough
And your skin is so soft, it’s almost too soft to touch
I’m quite aware of the demons you bore
But life is ready to give you more
I will carry you as far as I can
And rest your head on a blanket of sand
There your eyes will reflect all that we see-
A mirror-image of hope and gravity

The only friends I have
Are scumbags like me
But I didn't say I owned them
Haven't possessed much except a birth
So I'll smoke like a chimney
Till my lungs are black
And I'll drink like barfly
Till I'm the tar I'm steppin' in
Over-nourished, under-grown
We all yearn to stay high
But secretly we love the lows
Scratch my back
I'll stab you in yours
And a man said he liked my evil ways
Double-dared me to match him up
But I ain't proud of who I am
And now there're shards in his skull
Keep your eyes closed
Like you're staring at the sun
I'll continue to bathe in holy water with
Burned retinas

I allow you to feel better
To feel progress
You can’t disturb me
I’m mangled
But I’m whole
I’m crippled
I’m a fool
I’m neither boy nor girl
I’m a monster
I’m a book no one wants to check out
Shelved, dusty, never overdue-
A story no one wants to read
Meat and metal
Bone and gristle
Firm monkey mind
I sneeze, blow my life into a flower
And drift away like a balloon

Sinking deep or full-sail ahead
These are the contents of my head
But for every time I saw the ocean, not the sea
Lord, have mercy on me

Flaming numbness or burnt-out desire
My body's always on fire
But for every time I fell victim to gluttony
Lord, have mercy on me

A sunshower in the day and a candle in the dark
This is the mystery of my heart
But for every time, I traded still rainbows for the wind's speed
Lord, have mercy on me

A devil prefers wet lips; God prefers silence
Didn't realize that such small words could cause such big violence
But for every time, I don't think before I speak
Lord, have mercy on me

They laugh and frown anytime I sing and dance
This is just my circumstance
But for every time they use the sword and not the pen
Lord, have mercy on them

Black butterfly is hanging round my yard
It looks so soft when life can be so hard
I struggled inside my own cocoon
But I grew wings that flew me to the moon
If peace is futile, then what else exists
Violent urges and profane twists
I need to find my day in the sun
Underrated, but still the night has won

You were the broken boy
The misguided little toy
No one believed that you would
No one ever thought you could

But you sure got your revenge
Drawing X's on the faces of
Little girls who said they'd never bend
And now that power's in your hands
Why would you stop at Senseless Stares,
No One Cares, and Just for Fun
Why not attack The One Who Got Away
And she came, and she stayed too long

Your mouth didn't move
It didn't have to
Cause she heard you loud and clear:
"You've done everything you should
But I've got debts to pay
And my collectors think it would
Be best to delay
This game
Just for our amusement
Just to feed your delusion
Just to add some fusion
To our boring little days"

Your sewing circle of assumption grew
An immaculate consumption of a lie
Cause we know fiction holds the truth
And now the townspeople echo laughter
Everywhere she goes
Shouting,
"Look it's a freak, let's take a peek
Look it's the freak, let's take a piece,
Or why not take it all"

You got the blessing
And you had the day-old blues
She got the curse
So you hand her the noose
With a smile
And the passing of a ruse

The last one without a chair
When the music stops
The last one holding the gourd-
Pain is always passed on
To the one not willing to
Dish it out
In accordance with the norm

Now the little horror's
Slain but standing
All for the sake of judgment,
Scarlet letters and a grudge
And your summer lovin' torture party

But she never underestimated you
She wanted to believe in you
She should've hit the floor
And it should've ended there
You should've let her hit the floor
But you had eleven more stations to score

Run away with your aching
Your little savior is now
Bashed, ripped and torn
But he has designs on you
A tune to block out all the tunes
Your little girl can't play
On her pretty, lame guitar

You and your kin
Hope you all drown in all your
Videotape
Your cosmic movie
Will have an ugly face
And when you reach the junkyard
I hope she gives you paper cuts

Mountain by Mountain
Link by Chain
Tuft by Tuft
A High Crest wave
Will wash you both away

I walk through walls
But I can’t find the door
They see right through me
But they don’t know me at all
Like a candle swaying in a dark room
Help me find relief from a long day
Night can never come too soon
Cause in sleep I have no words to say
So surreal and so delicate
Nothing’s perfect but nothing’s a mess
So extreme and so fragile
Wonder why I’m wearing a white dress
And like a lighthouse by an ocean
Guide me to relief from a long night
Day seems like the right potion
Cause in sleep my fears take flight
I walk through walls
But I can’t find the door
They see right through me
But they don’t know me at all

I'm shaken
But they keep trying
To stir me
Quiet echoes
Of taunts outside my head
Any therapist would disagree
I'm swallowing spirits
And it's making me sick
Prehistoric birds
Getting revenge on my walls
And every speck of paint
Is an eyeball on a stick
And I'm turning on a spit
In my ear, a toothpick
Place your bets,
****** friends,
As to when I'll get stiff
Secreting secrets
From another world
Where no one goes
To see about a girl

Locomotive wing
Has got me in full swing
Seeking bulbs of brightness
And I've no idea why
Yesterday in rays of sun
Now I'm navigating some
Odd moonlight
Peering through the trees
Straight trajectory
Feeds my energy
Until I see a stronger source
Then I'm thrown right off the course
One eye blind
And one wing beating faster
Till I'm almost fully gone
Haywire tailspin, in a song
Of neighbors scorched and burned
I guess we'll never learn
Now I've got my own throne
Helping others find a home
A tiny sliver of power
Amongst these ultraviolet flowers
Now I'm feeling kind of stuck
Reaching for the same old ****
Guess it's just a matter of --

It’s so inhuman, but it’s coming from my body
The monsters on this planet are coming from inside me
A hologram of my blood is reaching out behind me
No bones in sight, just the stars from my own eyes

How do you explain the landscape of a womb
Yellow-bellied, red with fever, in a room of pale blue
A hologram of my mind is reaching out to blind me
Just the stars in my eyes, no bones in sight