Oh, will you ever return to me,
My wild first force, will you return
When the old madness comes to
Blacken in me and to burn
Slow in my brain like a slow fire
In a blackened brazier - dull
like a smear of blood,
Humid and hot evil, slow-sweltering
up in a flood!
Oh, will you not come back, my fierce song?
Jubilant and exultant, triumphing over
the huge wrong
of that slow fire of madness that feeds
on me - the slow mad blood
thick with its hate and evil, sweltering
up in its flood!
Oh! will you not purge it from me -
my wild lost flame?
Come and restore me, save me from the
intolerable shame
Of that huge eye that eats into my
Naked body constantly
And has no name,
Gazing upon me from the immense and
Cruel bareness of the sky
That leaves no mercy of concealment
That gives no promise of revealment
And that drives us on forever with its
lidless eye
Across a huge and houseless level of
a planetary vacancy
Oh, wild song and fury, fire and flame,
Lost magic of my youth return, defend
me from this shame!
And Oh! You golden vengeance of bright
song
Not cure but answer to earth's wrong

And I was dead.
Dead asleep.
Trying to fight my demons,
In lands you only meet in dreams.
My pillow smelled of fear,
And my skin smells like you.
This perfume is the only remain
You left as evidence
of the ******
We
Both
Committed.

A silent seducing moment
Carved out of struggle
*** can't tame her desires
She's hungry for something else from her lover
Hidden away in her chest of pain she plots
A happily ever after
Knowing full well that he would never deliver
She let go and plunged the blade into his eardrum
and asked so sweetly
Can you hear me now?

Love like water is dripping in
steaming up
filling the cracks and freezing
pushing things apart
making space for us to
be together

I must be stealing these feelings from angels
a light this bright must be blinding
but at this angle
my eyes aren't hiding
and I can see you smiling

Love like fire is burning
and turning over
sheets of clover and a bed of moss
made flames and tamed to ashes
by eye lashes

Radiant Moister
Soaking Heat
Light in your Eyes
Smoke under your Feet

these are the things make you feel complete
that make you want to dance with me
so dance with me

Best of friends so close to each other
Two peas in a pod no need for cover
Trust completely without hesitation
Can love each other without vacation

Waking up, life’s here again
It’s not just us, you have more friends
I sit like a candle in the wind
One blow from you and I’m caving in

Days are passing, no word from you
And I thought we were stuck like glue
I’m here for comfort, I see your sorrows
Staring at you, wanting a different tomorrow

Now I can’t get you out of my mind
But you can’t seem to find the time
To think of me, am I doing fine?
Would you notice if I cried inside?

When we hug I can feel your affection
Look in your eyes and I see a connection
But I listen close, there is nothing to hear
All I can smell is fear

Fear of losing you, are we still friends?
From you I can’t tell, so I’ll just pretend
Things are going great, a magical wonderland
I don’t understand why you let go of my hand

I saw you today, the desire was all mine
I’ll sit watching my phone and wait for the chime
No message so far, all you give me is silence
Walking in the dark, I pray for no violence

Was I holding so tight you slipped through my fingers?
My vulnerability I showed you, now the dark angel lingers
I loved you more than everybody combined
But you showed me that you were never mine

Now I can’t get you out of my mind
But you can’t seem to find the time
To think of me, am I doing fine?
No, not since you left me crying inside.

Some call me a genius.
Some call me insane.
My friends say I'm a tragedy.
My parents say I'm just a little eccentric.
Tell me what you think.
I am nothing but a puppet.
Being handled and tossed around.
After awhile I'm just set aside.
I'm diverting at first, almost enjoyable, but, in the end, a bitter pill to all.
I apperceive no need to breath.
I have to necessitate my lungs to swell with air, then to shrivel, and epitomize the essence of life.
That's where my eloquence comes from, or it's the insanity. I'm not sure.
In my frigid, obscured, irrecoverable mind, insanity is eloquence, eloquence is tragedy, and tragedy is beauty.
I exist for the darkest of romances, the most distorted of lives.
It brings me what's closest to a sense of your "well-being".
I hate, therefore, I love.
So if I love hate, then, I love circles.
That's what my love is, a circle.
The grasps of reality, though persistent, quickly overwrought and became transient to me not very recently, but not too long ago.
I will abruptly tear down and rip to shreds any mark of social normality in or around me.
Now, will you decide whether I live or die?
Or shall I for you?

Sigh.
This is hard.


My eyes are getting heavier with each passing day and the boy I see in the mirror
looks almost like a man.
Almost.

I am thankful for all the unkind words.
They made me strong and they made me carefree.
But when the lights go off and piano notes dance around my room the sheets feel lonely and my room feels cold.
When I close my eyes, my fingers are running along your cheek and my lips are brushing your nose.
You're not here.
I don't even know...

who
you
are.
But I hear myself whisper your name.

I know that somewhere in the universe, pieces of our souls flown through lonely tears and childhood wishes are are dancing with one another in the rain.
...kissing after dinner...
..making love after a fight...

I am so madly in love with you and I have no idea who you are.
Whether you even exist at all yet or whether I pass you every day.

I make no promise that I will caress your skin.
I make no promise that I will hear you laugh.
I make no promise that I will ever find you.


But I promise to always keep looking,
so keep your eyes open too...



With all my love whoever you are,

Joshua Haynes

I tried to open the door to your heart
But you held it shut
And I do not know quite why you did
Which hurts

I wanted to peer inside you
Enter into your life and give you aid
Win you over and show you all was well
Make at least some sort of difference

But right now
It seems that I will not be

I hope it was not selfish
My desire to help you out
Though sometimes I fear it was
But still, I am not sure

I do not wish to again
Smash myself upon the rocks of repentance
Unless I need to

I know this for sure
That in my heart I hope, I desire
That I wanted this for you

So for now I will love
In whatever way I can
From outside the door I will show you I care
For you
Not just for me.

(theinkthatspeaks.blogspot.com)