i apologize for the foul language


wow, what a beautiful sunny day
hmm, i have a taste for a piece of chocolate
alright! not much traffic
i want a piece of chocolate
awesome! a parkin' spot right in front
i really need a piece of chocolate
yes! boss isn't in yet
i have to get a piece of chocolate
another plus, not too much on the agenda today
where is that piece of chocolate i had in my desk
computer on, ready to chocolate
******* it! who took my piece of chocolate
where's those *chocolate papers
mother *******, i'll **** whoever took
my last ******* chocolate!
why is that phone chocolate?
if i go to that ******* machine and
there's no effin' chocolate somebody's *** is chocolate!
would somebody please answer that dang chocolate!

chocolate

i have no change for chocolate
who's got change for a chocolate?
somebody gimme 4 chocolates for a chocolate
so i could please get chocolate!?

chocolate

i'm going to chocolate so i could get a... chocolate

c h o c o l a t e

the weather's getting nicer
so she'll be back
that silly woman
who walks, shaking her head
and talking to herself
cursing the air
giving *****,
and in her mind intimidating,
looks to passersby
who, in our small town,
have learned to ignore her
and she'll go away

but realistically
she's been gone
a long, long time.

where is the kindness
   to people
     to things
especially to the innocent
   and the trusting

what kind of person
can abuse the trust
    of someone
     something
to hurt
and more importantly
    why?

what can they possibly
get out of it
out of hurting something
               someone
that is weaker
     more afraid
or worse
      more trusting

to gain an innocents trust
just to abuse for sadistic satisfaction
    is beyond evil
surpasses anything humane
and basically
sickens me...
...to the point of provoking evil
upon those who are spineless enough
to hurt the defenseless .

a frozen smile
you are never without
your face carved from putty
that has hardened overnight

you smile at hardship
    disease
          molestation
  brutality
    ignorance
  and pain

just as you smile at purity
   love
         innocence
   and joy

you're forever unchanged
   unhurt
       unfazed
& unemotional

for this is how you've chosen
to face the world
   with a ceramic smile
that can't be touched
leading you to believe
you are invincible.

i'll lead you into my depths of despair
  if you'd like
let me show you the darkness
   as i see it

i'll offer you my pain to feel
and have my teardrops fall upon your face
so you can experience the burning
sadness that accompanies me always

reach in and grab the strong fingers of despair
   that grip my heart
    and leave me suffocating

so then maybe
    maybe
you'll understand me
a bit more.

a bellows is used to fan the flames
and my eyes follow the sparks
as they circle into the night

the small girl is staring at me
and i give her a wink
but she turns away

a stray dog is sniffing the ground
hoping for any leftover meat
that may have fallen

i turn my head towards laughter
coming from one of the tents
followed by drunken singing

looking back towards the flames
i realize i am alone

the breeze sighing through the trees
makes my eyeslids heavy
and i allow myself to be embraced by sleep

a happy camper.

when gentle breezes blow past me
i hear soft words murmured by you
that were never spoken

when the heat of the sun grips me tightly
   and pulls me close
i feel an embrace from you
that never happened

and when feeling exhausted by life
i crave the love from you
that never was.

you purring besides me
intoxicates me
to a restful sleep

...in my mind,
blending dreams & hopes
  wishes & desires
   longings & need
gathering speed & intensity
like a snowball rolling down a mountainside
before being blown away
by the potency
of feelings

that leaves me utterly exhausted...

“We either make ourselves miserable,
or we make ourselves strong.
The amount of work is the same.”
― Carlos Castaneda


i like this!!!