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  Oct 2015 Lottie
berry
you are eighteen and you're in love
with a boy who hates his birthday.
you don't know it yet,
but the world gets so much bigger than the back of his car.
you think he needs you to be happy and so does he
but both of you are wrong.
it'll take you almost a year to stop crying.
and then you don't talk for another three
and when you finally do,
he thinks he still knows you,
but your heart is heavier than it was then.
and you **** him because you're lonely
but it isn't the same.
neither of you can fake love.
at least he still makes you laugh.
you'll pretend it's enough
because at least he's a body.
at least you're not by yourself.
at least you're alive
and you're good at *******.
because bodies are distractions
from the things we hide inside them.
you have him inside you
and he wants to gut you of your ugly, your sad.
he scrambles for an excuse not to stay the night
and you laugh.
you know what this is and how it goes
and you both love someone else.
you swear you won't **** him again
but you do anyway because you're still lonely
and you like the way his hands fit around your neck.
you **** him because it's good for your art
and you get bored of your own hands on your body
and you're fine with letting him feel useful.
and you think about when you were sixteen
and how *** was supposed to be special
and it makes you cry
because you're not who you wanted to be.
it makes you cry, because the world got so much bigger
after you left the backseat of his car.
the world is so big and you don't know
how it ended up on your shoulders.
you would have died for him.
you have been ready to die for every person you have ever loved.
you have dreams where he dies
and you can't save him.
you have dreams where people die
and you can't save them
and you're the one who tied your hands.
your mangled heart and all its bleeding.
nobody asked you to die.
what good is all the love in your chest
if you don't leave any for yourself?

- m.f.
  Oct 2015 Lottie
Jimmy Hegan

We  do not care for other ,
because they are others,

We  admire ,love & care very much,
because they are our loved one's.

We are self minded self protect, and over protected,
because  we have our family ,relatives and friends
We are all attach with emotion's, feelings and anger
We cannot smell or touch  other's sorrow and sadness,
because we are happy person,
we do not care for others.

Lottie Oct 2015
I am high of life.
I'm jumping up and down to a song
that I made up in my head
and life is ******* awesome.
hey hey hey, i love you.
Lottie Oct 2015
Be in my bubble,
Let's listen to lousy music
And kiss
sweet sun- milky chance
Lottie Oct 2015
4am
I woke up from a dream
Of being entwined with you
And thought that,
When I opened my eyes,
It was all real.
So I leaned over, to kiss
Your shoulder
And the cold half
Of my bed
Kissed back.
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