Are you in love with your depression?

Because I sure am with mine. My life
Is a sunny day and ice water right now.
Yet I still see clouds touching the mountains.

I wonder what brought me to jump at every crack
On the sidewalk.

So I trace my steps back and reopen every healed scar along the way,
And laugh at the lies I told myself about life being okay.

I wonder how I got here, laying next to a 6'4" beautiful giant who is in love with me,

And I wonder if I love him for him or if I love him for loving me.

I can't ruin it this time.

Take my hand and hold it dearly,
Baby you take my breath away.
Take every last kiss I have left to give,
I want my lips imprinted on your skin.

Take my left ring finger,
Baby take my last name away because I want yours.
Take every last laugh out of my lungs,
I want my happiness to be yours.

Take the heat from inbetween my legs,
Baby take every moan from my mouth
And leave it sighing in your ears.
I want my pleasure wrapped around you.

Take my years, let them slip by with new memories of you,
Baby let's take our love and make a family.
I want you to take me and let me make this a family.

Take me, let's make a family.

Take me, let's make a family.

Take me, I'll give you a family.

Take me, baby, I'll give.

How do I keep the ugly feelings inside from coming outside and being okay with it deep down Im not. The ugly isn't dissipating its growing and I can't stop it anymore

Am I really that mean
Do I really have that much hate in my heart

I want to
Take you
Into
My bed.

In the morning I'll leave you
In between the sheets,
A mess of short hair and
Sticky thighs.
Soft sighs.

Your back, broad
And wounded.
You take a shower alone.
You wince under its spray.

You never got my name.
Only heard me whisper yours.
Look for something in my drawers,
In my cabinets.
Find nothing.

Scrawl your number on a piece of paper.

Leave with the hope of me calling you back.

Know, that once you shut that door,
You'll never see or hear of me again.

Your arm is draped around me.
Your soft snores. Your head is on my shoulder.
You are starting to sweat because you sweat in your sleep.
All you have on is a t shirt and socks.
No boxers.
Its 8:35 am and my world has never been as perfect as this. Sunlight creeps through my window.
You're 6'4 and roughly 215 lbs,
But all I see is a sweet little boy.
Your gauges are 5/8" and black.
You wear vans, black craft cult, and zumiez only.
You have thick brows over green eyes.
Dark hair.

I love your hands, long slender fingers that seem to be twice my size.

I love your legs, long ropey and strong. And hairy.

I love your lips and the way they pucker out when you're asleep and I love ever single one of your teeth.

I love your morning breath and the way you wake up.

I love your choppy, ragged breaths when you're inside me.

I love your nervousness, even though I hate it.

I love you.

Sneaky obsessed *******-
If you don't like what I write
Get the ******* of it!
I only told you about this place
Cause I trusted you,
Cause I thought I loved you.

Don't you turn the words Im feeling
Into some kinda crime.
Don't get offended- its not meant for your eyes.

Its meant for mine.