Loneliness, I need not speak a word
Yet you're aware of my wretched pain;
All through the night, your vigil you keep,
Hearing my heart call to Love, in vain;
Sensing my distress, you warn the dawn
To tap gently at my window pane

You know me so well -- my heart's a book
You've read many times, with empathy;
Steadfastly you watch, come rain or shine,
You stand at your post most faithfully;
I feel your presence in the darkness
When tears blind my eyes mercilessly

In a moment of false bravado,
I foolishly pushed you from my side
When I believed Love had come to stay --
A silly notion I now deride;
Somehow you knew not to stray too  far,
And when you returned, how we both cried!

Come, Loneliness, let's call it a night,
I'll discard these dreams, then we'll go home;
Once again we'll amble, side by side,
I have you ..... there's no reason to roam;
Tonight I'll raise my glass in a toast:
To you, friend, I dedicate this poem!

Are there no words that I can say,
No supplication I might pray?
My tortured heart would be set free
If your love belonged to me

I'd write poems that would make you swoon,
Sonnets I've rehearsed with the moon;
Your soul would sing in ecstasy,
If your love belonged to me

When the sun leaves its golden throne,
I'd give you nights you've never known,
Like a tempest riding the sea,
If your love belonged to me

When the moon's silver rays unfold,
Won't you give me your heart to hold?
I would caress it tenderly,
If your love belonged to me

Calm the fear of what I most dread:
The words of love you've left unsaid!
You could end this uncertainty,
If your love belonged to me

The steepest hills for you I'd climb,
I'd travel to the end of time
If when I reached eternity,
Your love belonged to me

If I could hold your heart close to mine,
I would know what sorrows you bear,
And I would claim your pain as my own --
All that you'd allow me to share

If you could but let me hold your heart
Through the dark hours that plague your day,
I'd gently restore your trust in Love
That waves of deceit washed away

If I could keep your heart for one night,
So attached to love it would grow
That should you attempt to reclaim it,
It would shout a resounding "No!"

If I could lay your heart upon mine,
All your woes I'd seek to smother;
Maybe, just maybe, your pain and mine
Would annihilate each other

If I could hold your heart next to mine,
Dreams long dead would once more take flight;
Will we deny our hearts their last fling . . .
Or let them soar in wild delight!

The steps to my grave grow fewer,
I'm told now it's just a stone's throw;
But I've yet to carry the Torch of Love
And stand in awe beneath its hallowed glow

Too many were the lonely nights
I knelt with despair so near me,
Praying for love with the faith of a child,
Foolishly believing God would hear me

Tell me, Lord, can you hear me now?
Why have my cries not reached your door?
Each day fresh wreckage is strewn o'er my life,
But your silence is what it was before

The Book of Life's last page has turned,
The present hour now holds the keys;
Little time remains to learn of Love's joys --
When Death summons, I'll have no need for these

Can you hear me now? Give me hope
Before my heart heaves its last sigh;
Will my barque ever journey on Love's sea,
Or with furled sails in port forever lie?

Though despair stretches its talons,
The voice of hope affirms its place;
As the Scroll of Life dolefully unfolds,
Have lines been penned that Fate might yet erase?

Foolish heart, hopeful to the end,
As Death guides the gravedigger's plow:
Dig deeper, deeper, stifle that ****** voice!
But my heart still cries ..... can you hear me now?

How merry is the song that I sing,
How jubilant are the bells that ring,
How do I convey the joy they bring
When my darling speaks his words of love?

Like feathers his words float on the wind,
Bringing such joy, I fear I have sinned;
On this one man all my dreams are pinned,
No greater blessing can I think of

But when he's silent, I want to cry,
When I call and there is no reply,
I can't smile, no matter how I try,
Let him speak! I beg Heaven above

Anxiously I wait while the tears fall
When for days he speaks no words at all,
The thrill of past words  I must recall
Lest I die for want and lack thereof

And then the clouds part and angels sing,
O, what joy his words once again bring,
I would not trade them for anything,
When my darling speaks his words of love!

And yet again the night finds me alone
As this day slips into tomorrow;
Though my reason for happiness has flown,
Missing him is a beautiful sorrow

It may seem quite a melancholy task
Carrying this lost love to my grave;
Strangely, contentment wears many a mask --
His memory keeps me its joyous slave

All my gladness now dwells in yesterday,
Love's blissful past rests in twilight dreams
Where golden bees still sip the flower's spray,
And wild roiling seas become gentler streams

Time has purified the love we once shared,
In this realm of dreams there are no flaws;
Love thrives with a certainty never dared,
And is governed by joy's eternal laws

I now see his love through a different eye,
It lends greater comfort than before;
And the fear that his love may one day die
Lies in peaceful repose forevermore

Until this clay frame sets my spirit free,
I'll have memories from which to borrow;
Though seemingly strange my utterance may be,
Missing him is a beautiful sorrow!

The grains of sand grow fewer each day,
The task of the hourglass is at hand;
Shamed by poor decisions that paved my way,
Tears flow like pearls from a broken strand  

My heart was drowning in loneliness --
Ten fathoms deep, and still descending,
Crying mutely while sinking in distress,
Begging for a merciful ending

Then my heart was shaken to its core
And in golden laurels it was framed
When unexpected love knocked at the door,
Errant love, just begging to be claimed

Why did I not let my heart take flight?
Like a bashful ****** it waited,
With expectations of that wondrous night
When passion's hunger would be sated!

How clearly I see in retrospect
A foolish choice I could not then see;
Deprived of love, and weakened by neglect,
My heart now stands in judgement of me

These days, slow and labored is my stride,
As my conscience plots its alibi;
I found a place where my regrets can hide,
But loneliness vows to testify

Guilty! is the verdict that I hear --
For my folly, a price must be paid;
Eden's garden had never been so near,
With its fruits so temptingly displayed

Fraught with doubt, I turned his love away,
Sending hope back to its darkened lair;
And for this offense I face Judgement Day,
My wronged heart has no mercy to spare

For what purpose has morning come again,
Did my cries awake the sleeping sun?
As dawn tolls its bell, the moon bids farewell,
And the sun's rays unfold, one by one

And still no response when I call to you,
Can your ears not hear my mournful hymn?
Now through tear-filled eyes I watch the sun rise,
And so begins the day, bleak and grim

How does Heaven justify such cruelty,
Taking from me what I most desire?
With a searing flame, Death's cruel arrow came
And pierced your heart, setting my world afire

Reluctantly, birds gather on branches,
Sadly, to sing their songs they decline;
While I cry for you, their cries are heard, too;
O sing, faithful friends, this pain is mine!

A lonely wind now surges through my world,
Missing you cuts my heart like a knife;
My heart's in tatters ..... nothing else matters,
It was your love that defined my life

Now shadows lengthen as the darkness falls,
And tomorrow's pain, well within view,
While I hold tight to your memory tonight,
I may smile ..... but then I'll cry for you

Though he's gone, life goes on as before --
The rising sun still announces dawn;
At night the moon paces my bedroom floor,
But now my lonely heart cries out "Begone!"

Without him, seasons still come and go,
Callous Spring comes strewing her flowers;
I pay no heed to Nature's to and fro,
In despair is how my heart spends its hours

Since he left, the joys I knew have flown,
At once, like startled birds taking wing;
The last of the summer's roses have blown,
Not a trace remains of our fairy ring

When he left, he took my hopes and dreams,
Strange, he was so different from the rest;
Now my abandoned heart silently screams
While I stare at the sun like one possessed

O, yes, I know his love was not real!
Just a seed sown by a desperate hand,
Expecting to harvest my heart's ideal --
A castle of dreams built upon quicksand

Well, now there are no seeds left to sow,
But in failure I have found meaning:
Imagined love can never thrive and grow,
And grants harvests too sparse for the gleaning

Let the wounded bird take wing,
Though dismal may be his fate;
Should he overcome this cruel sting,
His triumph he'll celebrate

Let the willow bend and weep;
Though it appears to be weak,
It would tell you its roots run deep
If it were able to speak

Let the wolf howl to the moon --
He has the right to be heard;
Morning will be here all too soon,
Then enters the singing bird

Let the spider weave her snare,
For this task she was designed;
While her prey, feeling no despair,
Awaits its cruel fate, resigned

Let love and loneliness brawl,
Let die the things that must die;
Release the tears and let them fall,
And let the broken heart cry

Let me love without constraints --
The sinking boat needs no oar;
Do not preach of sinners and saints
With Death's feet so near my door

Let me taste love's sweetest wine,
And let this shattered heart mend;
Having seen my star of love shine,
Then let the curtain descend

Come, my love, we've no time to waste,
The clock is chiming eleven,
Just enough time to get one last taste
Of the Sweet Elixir of Heaven

Autumn's love is no less sublime
Than Spring's first love, daring and grand;
But the hourglass has turned its last time .....
We must outrun Life's fast-falling sand

Pace cannot be arbitrary ---
The river is starting to freeze;
Hurry, my love, try not to tarry,
If you must, crawl on your hands and knees!

Love is calling in the distance,
Offering us her glorious shroud;
Lest she think we offer resistance,
Let us claim all the joy we're allowed

Autumn's last buds will soon depart,
As icy winds nip at the vine;
Soon nothing will stir this dying heart --
Neither love, nor song, nor vintage wine

Time is anxious to take its toll,
The sun's setting ..... let us make haste;
No longer at leisure can we stroll,
Come now, my love .... we've no time to waste!

What artist has dared to lay his brush
Upon this canvas, and vainly strive
To paint life into a dying heart
That surrendered its will to survive?

Only a master would dare this feat,
This assignment so bizarre and rare:
Paint a woman starved of love and joy,
Without revealing her true despair

Study those eyes locked in a cold gaze,
As if hiding unbearable pain;
Who can surmise what hell burns within?
This mute painting will never explain

A tear-moistened smile rests on her lips,
Causing premonitions dark and bleak
To the viewer, who can only guess
What he might hear if those lips would speak

Her empty hands, resting in her lap,
Are clasped together as if in prayer;
Voiceless supplications rise unheard,
A deafening silence fills the air

What artist is this that chose to paint
What the uncaring Fates have decreed:
A life of unending loneliness,
A broken heart, ever meant to bleed

Great artist, your work is now complete,
A masterpiece of duality --
Despair and hope, laced with smiles and tears,
Obscuring her true identity

This painter who dared not sign his name,
Nor from this daunting task, seek release --
Surely, now you recognize his style
As you behold Misery's masterpiece!

If you've grown weary of my love, just go!
You need no excuse clever or cunning;
But should your cup of loneliness overflow,
Just call my name, you know I'll come running

Your love is weak, it leaves me needing more --
Like a skiff with no breeze to fill its sail,
A seashell washed up on a lonely shore;
But should you need me, just call - I'll not fail

In love there's no common sense or reason,
And there are no rules to which Love adheres;
Too often, dazzled hearts witness treason,
And the fairytale always ends in tears

Love is a strange song, sung in many keys,
Righteous or false,  Love is the staff of life;  
Just see how quickly we're brought to our knees
When Loneliness plunges its frigid knife!

So bring me your love, unfaithful or true,
It matters not if it's rough or tender;
In your arms let me greet dawn's rosy hue --
Then mock if you must my self-surrender

How lonely must the night become,
How dark before we are shown the light?
Must it be the starving man's last crumb
That draws God's attention to his plight?

To what degree must the heart break --
'Til it's held by one thin fragile thread?
Can we shout a sleeping God awake?
Dare we go where angels fear to tread!

How many tears must stain the page
Of the distraught poet's saddest verse?
The answer evades the wisest sage,
Could it be God himself laid this curse?

But in vain we question our fate --
Superficial particles are we,
Destined for death, nervously we wait,
Born to suffer - but to what degree?

Is no man worthy of his birth?
From what Source sprang this complexity?
Begging for mercy has little worth,
Not even Death pledges amnesty

Might the darkness get darker still?
Does our suffering bridge eternity?
Is wrath part of God's undying will
To torment us ....... but to what degree?

If I were on the shore, looking out toward the sea,
And from a distance, you beckoned to me,
Could I not tread water to reach you in haste,
To be held in your arms, and your kisses to taste?

If I were a garden wall made of rock and stone
And you, a vine, forsaken and alone,
How could I not invite you to boldly climb
Until I was covered by your foliage sublime?

If I were sure that it's my love you were craving,
And from a cloud, to me you were waving,
The embers of passion's fire having been stirred,
Could I not fly directly to you like a bird?

If you were to tell me I alone owned your heart,
How incomplete you feel when we're apart,
Even after death, I shall not be forgot ....
Would I love you, too? My darling, how could I not!

What fires burn in this feverish mind!
And from the ashes spring ardent words,
Like the phoenix rising up to heaven,
Leading flocks of diaphanous birds

Mimicking the tides, thoughts ebb and flow
Ceaselessly, as those of the ocean;
Like one possessed, I surrender control,
Jotting down every whim and notion

Angst and rapture mingle together
As I ponder each new assignment;
Vague concepts, dispatched from a remote source,
Invade my mind, seeking refinement

Transient verses perch upon my pen,
Now my minions, I must guide them home;
With care, I place them upon the blank page --
Trumpeting the birth of a new Poem!

Dare I hope my words be remembered
Immortally, as our God must be,
Bringing joy and comfort to burdened hearts,
Like a prayer recited faithfully

My words cannot be held prisoners
In a box meant for decaying remains;
But rather, these poems I lovingly pen
Must soar alongside heavenly strains

I care not if few sad tears are shed
For my folded hands and eyelids closed;
But when Death commands that my voice be still,
Grieve for the poems that went uncomposed!

Life chewed up my dreams, and then spit them out,
My passions quelled, overcome by doubt,
Trust and courage vanished from my world;
Now I walk with arms outstretched to the sky,
Not in prayer . . . Fate's prisoner am I,
See? my flag of surrender's unfurled!

The fight is over, it's not worth the pain,
A futile clash, and what did I gain?
A defeat greeted with taunting jeers;
And Life still goes on -- seasons come and go,
The rivers freeze, then the rivers flow,
Life's cruel pranks just aren't worth the tears

But tears are the toll that Life demands,
Tears and the labors of calloused hands;
So let me say a word to the wise:
Don't waste your time reciting fruitless prayers,
Though you may evade Life's quicksand and snares,
God has closed the gates to Paradise!

As I descend the crumbling steps of Time,
I wonder what lies beyond the twelfth chime,
Are there any prizes left to win?
With my last breath shall I beg God's pardon?
Might he then bid me enter His Garden,
Or, like a bug, spike me with a pin?

No! I won't spend remaining days in fear,
I won't beseech a God that can't hear,
No longer on Defeat will I dwell;
I'll keep building my castles in the air,
Savoring fragments of love here and there,
As for Defeat ..... it can go to hell!

Sleep, my beloved,  my arms will not tire
Of holding you . . . let your dreams take flight;
I'll keep watch until  dawn's ring of fire
Burns away the tapestry of night

Where do you go in your errant dreams --
Riding cloud-drifts through Love's pageantry
While I keep watch next to sorrow's streams
Until the dawn brings you back to me?

Then let your fantasies ride moonbeams
And wander among celestial spheres;
I'll keep watch while you pursue your dreams,
Though my weary eyes are blurred with tears

Walk the pebbled shores and valleys green
Till you find your kingdom by the sea;
And when you're ready to choose a queen,
Think of me, love, O please, think of me

For dreams are but a subtle disguise,
Masking the desires we dare not speak;
And so I'll keep watch until your eyes
Look in mine . . . and find the love they seek

God knows the ocean needs the waiting shore
To welcome the tides as they flow;
God knows the birds need their wings to soar,
Is He not aware that I need you so?

God knows warmth must follow Winter's harsh reign,
On Spring, nature's sweet song depends;
God knows sunlight must echo the strain,
So I need the warmth and light your love lends

God knows when each star tumbles from its berth,
Or when a leaf falls from a tree;
God knows our miseries suffer no dearth,
So why is it you are not here with me?

God knows laws of nature must be obeyed,
First comes the bud, then the flower;
God knows, for I've told Him as I prayed,
I need your love to guide me through each hour

God knows I'm determined to stay this course,
No one will I place above you;
God knows that my heart has pledged to yours
An eternal commitment to love you

God knows without air and water we'd die,
God knows each heart must have its due,
God knows without love life goes awry .....
But does He know I can't live without you!

Rays of a golden sun greet the day,
A warm breeze brushes my cheek in its play,
Fragrant flowers bloom in radiant hue,
Amidst this beauty, I think of you

A wandering bird in hectic flight
Searches for shelter before fall of night,
Then sanctuary comes within view,
When I've lost my way, I think of you

Amorous waves hug a lonely shore,
While avocets scavenge the sandy floor
The moon and stars keep their rendezvous;
In this peaceful realm, I think of you

A dove woos his mate high in a tree,
Together they warble love's symphony
As bees sip the rose's velvet dew;
Seeing love fulfilled, I think of you

Though life may demand its daily toll,
Your love guides me toward my journey's goal;
And when despair spreads its darkest hue,
Love's flame kindles when I think of you

Today the sun rose in a peculiar way,
As if it were afraid to announce the day;
First, with a cautious eye it scoured the land,
Coy, with a fear of unfounded reprimand;
Slowly its ribbons of light were unwinding,
But so pale, they could hardly be called blinding!
What could be the cause of the sun's hesitance?
What could possibly be prompting this reticence?
I wonder, did the sun hear my idle threats?
Last night, missing you, I was filled with regrets;
As the pain in my heart began to accrue,
I dreaded facing a new day without you,
And as the morning dawned, I said foolish things:
"How dare the sun rise, knowing the pain it brings!
Has it no compassion, just heartless cruelty?
I wish the sun would drown in a stormy sea!
Its flames be extinguished, leaving but embers,
Crying for the past glory it remembers.
What I wouldn't do to make the sun depart,
Too long it has thrown flaming knives at my heart!"
And so for my grief I cast blame on the sun
And wished for the day to be over and done;
Regretting my folly, I now realize
My words, spoken in angst, were cruel and unwise;
Fear not, Sun, nothing will harm your dazzling flame,
For my pain and loneliness, you're not to blame;
So rise, dear Sun, fill the world with your glory--
I'll reproach the Moon for my purgatory!

When the heart refuses to forget
A love that left it in disarray,
And memories come knocking at the door
But the heart cannot turn them away
For it still worships at that secret shrine,
Try not to despair, everything will be fine

When petals fall from the withered rose,
And from its face fades the morning's glow,
The grief-stricken bee fondly recalls
The sweet nectar that once used to flow;
But when a new rose invites him to dine,
What bliss! for he knows everything will be fine

When dreams grow weak and struggle for breath,
In angst we cry "Why must it be so?"
But never discard your dying dreams --
Gather them close, and don't let them go!
Though in defeat we're tempted to resign,
If we persevere, everything will be fine

The mind and heart are but mortal things,
Subject to erosion and decay;
The haughty will is conquered by Time,
Old memories die and fade away;
But once we've made it to the finish line,
Peace awaits there, and everything will be fine

And the loved ones we have missed and mourned
Will bear witness to a simple truth:
Love does not die, but is eternal,
Like the golden fantasies of youth;
We'll witness Death's role in this Grand Design,
As angels chant "You're home now ..... everything's fine!"

The sunset hour darkens my door,
A shadow moves across the floor;
There he stands in luminous air .....
The answer to my daily prayer

My trembling hands follow his form,
The cold night air turns, oh, so warm;
I taste his kiss scorching the air,
My fingers stroke his tangled hair

Just particles and flecks of dust!
I despair and turn in disgust;
He pulls me back and holds me tight,
My spirit love, my errant knight

Sensual feelings are unending,
O, what torment this pretending!
When from reality I flee,
It's then his spirit comes to me

How I love him ..... how I need him!
Lord, don't let this beacon grow dim!
But his love is not mine to own,
And soon the night finds me alone

Prayers can't change the rules of this game:
Here comes Fate to blow out the flame;
A foolish dream, a wish in vain .....
Companion from another plane

Face of moonlight, kiss born of dreams,
Love's longing taken to extremes;
Existing in some realm above,
He's all I have ..... my spirit love

With faltering steps, slower grows my stride,
Kicking stones, I stumble on my way;
Walking such wretched paths, God knows I've tried
To rise above all this Earthly fray

Sadly,  the heavens are not mine to soar,
Mangled pinions make for hopeless flight;
Only in dreams am I raised from Earth's floor --
To remain earthbound is my sad plight

I've been told lovers walk among the stars,
But the heavens are not mine to fly;
This Earth, this prison with its accursed bars
Is my domain 'til the day I die

The Fountain of Hope can no longer sate;
Sands of Time spill from my dimming eyes;
I spend these days reflecting on my fate,
Struggling to sort the truth from the lies

Yet, I still reach for what I cannot gain
While ghosts of a sad past surround me;
Heartless creatures! While they scoff at my pain,
I cry for Love that never found me

O, Fate, at times I find your style profane ---
Cold as ice, unmoved by my despair;
But the hour is late, no doubt I'll remain
Earthbound, never to breathe Love's sweet air

My pen hovers over a blank page
As red ink drips from my wounded heart;
The pain has been stirred by some senseless word,
Now my loneliness awakes with a start

Why are all my words penned in red ink?
The heart must deliver its lament!
Sad words find release, bringing a strange peace
When too long the heartaches of love are pent

And why do my verses taste of salt ---
Not of the sea and its gypsy waves
That come and go, free of all care and woe,
But from tears shed for the love my heart craves

How much must a heart invest in love
Before it receives a dividend?
To reach its goal, it pays a hefty toll,
And yet, the journey seems to have no end

So where lies the blessed love I seek?
Have I left some leaf or stone unturned?
Might there be a flower in my sunset hour
Yet to blossom, for which my heart has yearned?

Lord, take pity on my foolish dreams!
Shine your torchlight on my dark despair;
And when I implore, storming Heaven's door,
Turn the key and permit me entry there

I sense the raging fury of a storm  
That's unfolding as dark clouds gather;  
Hold me close,  and talk to me of love,    
Or sing me a song, if you'd rather  

Just as the bee hums his serenade
To the rose that waits in solitude,
Hover over me, and sing your song,
Talk to me of love ..... I'm in the mood  

Talk to me of love, have you not seen
Angels straining when you whisper low?
Though divine, they cannot comprehend
How my roses blossom in the snow

Through torrential rains my sun still shines,
Rainbows stretch across my midnight sky;
Love's gifts dismiss time and circumstance,
Baffled Angels don't know how or why

How can words of love possess such power?
If true love is what the heart dictates,
Then the words that flow are absolute --
Just watch as they trample Heaven's gates

And together, boldly we enter
To join the blest throngs that dwell above;
It is on such nights that I rejoice --
When you whisper your sweet words of love!

Wait no longer, talk to me of love,
Profound feelings come to torture me:
Abandonment, loneliness, then tears --
A foreboding of calamity

And here it is ......  the warble of a bird --
Now my eyes perceive the dawn's first beam;
I don't want to hear what's coming next .....
"Wake up, Lora, this was but a dream!"

I'm just waiting for Love's knock at my door,
I've nothing better to do with my time;
Sometimes I count grains of sand on the shore,
Once in a while I compose a rhyme

Pay me no mind, I'm just biding my time,
I'll gather some kindling, then feed the birds;
Winter's threatening to bolt recklessly --
In its wake, I'll pen more idle words

Do you know how many teardrops it takes
To fill a glass after the wine is gone?
Many nights, when sleep refuses to come,
I sit counting my tears until dawn

How long can the flame of patience stay lit
On that candle upon my window sill,
Hoping its light beckons Love to my door,
And yet doubtful that it ever will

At times I despair, darkness overtakes
My mind, while hopeless thoughts start to unfold,
But the heart is wise and its spirit leaps
To stoke the embers that have grown cold

How long will I wait for Love to arrive?
'Til the blind man sees, and the deaf man hears!
But pardon me, I must be going now,
The wine is gone ..... time to count my tears

Tonight I'll wait to see the moon's face
Hovering above that cypress tree;
Then I'll drift off to my favorite place .....
The other side of reality

Into that land where passion runs free,
And wild fantasies lurk everywhere;
My body goes limp .... Love carries me
Like a hungry lion to its lair

I'm held captive, unable to flee,
But not one complaint do I proclaim;
Love fans the embers of fantasy,
And suddenly my heart is aflame

Soon the flames are enkindling two hearts,
An embrace and a kiss enchant me;
At last Cupid's free to throw his darts,
(A fantasy day cannot grant me!)

Phantom love flourishes in the dark
Where truth cannot invade its domain;
My hunger for love has lit the spark --
Now my spirit seeks this astral plane

Where do I go when I fall asleep?
Surely, the Edge of Eternity!
And so among the shadows I creep,
Where Love dispels its uncertainty

My worldly possessions are meager,
In this life I'm but a poor renter;
Is it shocking that I'm so eager
Through this blest passageway to enter!

If Love cannot find me in the light,
Then let my eyes permanently close;
Loneliness is banished from my sight
While my eyes are shut in sweet repose

So let me dwell where day's dormant dreams
Can awaken with temerity,
And woes are drowned in Love's sparkling streams ....
The other side of reality

Is it by Divine grace few pass through life
Eluding pain, with scarce a trace of strife,
While others are slaughtered by Fate's sharp knife?
How the tears fall as misery runs rife!

When the tattered flags of war are unfurled,
With every bullet and bomb that is hurled,
When on battlefields, blood and soil are swirled,
I cry for the wickedness in this world

I feel the woes of each abandoned heart
As the barbs of loneliness sting and smart;
And while Destiny play its chosen part,
Helplessly I watch, and then the tears start

I cry for the pain of each living thing,
The warbler that struggles, but cannot sing,
A queen's bittersweet reign without her king;
And yet, what benefit do such tears bring?

Though vague longings stir when evening is nigh,
We're condemned to sorrow, my heart and I;
Then dread overtakes, and O, how I cry,
Yearning for the love Fate chose to deny

Wasted tears, why do you fall from my eyes?
Just force of habit, I must surmise,
As Life delivers what Hell ratifies . . .
Pain and wasted tears . . . in endless supplies

Life is not perfect, it has its flaws,
And flows with restricted efficiency;
Once in a while, it will bend the laws
To compensate for some deficiency

At times, Life will send torments our way,
(For which it should humbly beg our pardon)
Gladly we forgive such vile display
When we find love growing in our garden

We dance to some unknown rhapsody,
While Life's hands are positioned on the keys;
We think we compose the melody,
But Life will play only what it shall please

Life is a gamble we seldom win,
Though we have no choice but to play the game,
The cards are dealt, the wheel starts to spin .....
Will triumph be ours, or a loser's shame?

Dubious is the motive for this game,
Yet, we follow the rules most ardently;
Always seeking the elusive flame
That reveals the purpose of you and me

In darkness, we blindly tread thin ice,
Where underneath a rough sea is churning;
Though our instinct murmurs sound advice,
The ***** of hope nurses our yearning

Know this!  God's secrets will not be learned,
Though foolish hearts beseech the realm above;
But when the last page of Life is turned,
We'll find all that really mattered was Love!

I've grown accustomed to Earth pulling at my chain,
Seldom have I questioned the laws that restrict me;
Yet, for adverse reasons that no one can explain,
On some unknown date Death will come to evict me

I'll object, maybe even kicking and screaming,
When I'm told that it's time for me to move along;
For what purpose was all my planning and dreaming,
And all the knowledge I gathered from Nature's song?

I watched Time flowing at its pre-determined pace,
Believing in the promises of tomorrow;
Though at times quite overwhelmed, I ran a good race,
And kept the faith amidst challenges and sorrow

Now I'm being warned the day of transfer is nigh.
How can I leave all the wondrous things I have seen:
The ever-changing blues of the sea and the sky,
Earth's velvet mantle in its many shades of green?

Mesmerized I've stood watching the tide's ebbs and flows,
It was the blackest seas that reflected the stars;
And when held captive by loneliness and its woes,
Love sent its brightest rays through my heart's prison bars

So familiar with this Earthly home have I grown,
How can I leave all I love so far behind me?
Catapulted to some distant orbit unknown,
I wonder, will memories of Earth still bind me?

Will I miss morning's dew sating the thirsty rose,
Or a sudden winter's gale, blowing wild and rough?
I've had my share of anguish and pain, Heaven knows,
But my deepest regret:  I was not loved enough!

The sweetest mystery of life --
This glorious madness called Love,
Formed and nurtured by the mind of God,
A rare gift born of Heaven above

Softly, its essence rides the wind,
Satisfying a primal need;
Love's rare scent causes delirium,
Yet we inhale it with anxious greed

Love provides the strength to surmount
Life's hurdles, to climb each mountain;
When the sands of longing parch our throats,
In our desert there springs a fountain

We hear Love's whisper in the dark,
Then one tender kiss kindles the flame;
Suddenly the fire's out of control --
The raging beast is no longer tame

Love is a baffling mystery,
Who can interpret the spell it weaves?
How great is the joy when it arrives,
But what burning torment when it leaves!

Only Love can inspire the poet
To relay what our hearts cannot tell:
Through Love we're shown a glimpse of Heaven,
Without Love, we get a taste of Hell

Love drinks our tears, changing them to wine,
In darkest hours, Love intercedes;
Love assaults the tree of loneliness,
Destroying the root, crushing the seeds

Love affords us the will to endure
Failure of our ill-conceived schemes;
Love is the calm that follows the storm,
Love is the fulfillment of our dreams

Love is the proof we are still alive,
For no spirit could feel Love's fire;
Though we declare Love with our last breath,
The grave silences mortal desire

What force gives meaning to our lives,
Our mettle when push comes to shove?
What helps us endure life's cruelest pain?
This divine blessing that we call Love!

Her poems paint a self-portrait
Of a face she hides from the world;
Secrets well-guarded, slowly revealed,
Each line a new chapter unfurled

Every word that drips from her pen
Is likened to paint on the knife;
From sunlit paths that lead to dark caves,
She paints the story of her life

Stroke after stroke the words are placed
Upon the warped canvas of time;
The torment that each lonely day brings
Urges her to dress it in rhyme

Are lonely days not punishment
Enough for this painter of verse?
Yet, night only grants her fitful sleep
As her woes refuse to disperse

O, painter of a thousand words,
Your cruel fate has taken its toll,
Leaving you to walk this Earth alone
With weary heart and sick of soul

With open eyes she lays dreaming
Of the day love will grace each dawn;
Little does she know her fate is sealed:
Long ago her portrait was drawn

Why does the abandoned heart keep loving,
Though there is no love being returned?
Because it was taught love is forever,
And love's lessons cannot be unlearned

Why does the abandoned heart keep beating,
Sustained only by a memory?
Because it must believe love will return,
And will wait forever, if need be

Why does the abandoned heart still insist
None but this love will ever suffice?
Because only this love carries the key
That unlocks the gate to paradise

The threads of love are on the loom --
I'll weave a dream for you;
All the pain that swells your heart
Will soon be out of view

Drift away on the gentle waves
Of Fantasy's deep stream;
I'll stay close by, guiding you
Through this enchanted dream

Our two hearts, chained to loneliness,
Offered a fervent prayer,
Unaware our utterance
Stirred and startled the air

Now our love shines bright as the sun,
Although the world be dark;
Meagre are the moon and stars,
Life itself, but a spark

Though confined to  love's gilded cage,
We've no cause for despair;
Our hearts soar on wings of joy,
For Heaven heard our prayer

Two hearts sing in an unknown tongue,
(Love's language has no name)
While the blessed words pour forth,
Our love kindles the flame

Every night, I weave the same dream ....
What could be more divine
Than love's first embrace and kiss,
When your hand first held mine?

Dearest love, as this dream unfolds,
Cherish the things you see;
They're held captive  by  the  night .....
But dawn will set them free!

The day is rich with the gifts of Spring,
Seeds of expectation have been sown;
Truly, I could not wish for a thing,
..... well, maybe not to be so alone

Could a lovelier morning exist?
The lilacs and roses are full blown;
To shout with joy I can scarce resist,
..... yet, I wish I were not so alone

But Time must march, Spring's performed her task,
Now Summer has made its presence known
With such charm, so what more could I ask?
..... well, perhaps not to be so alone

And when Summer dons Autumn's costume,
I'll not cry for the days that have flown;
That Spring will return I must assume,
..... I wonder, will I still be alone?

Now wintry winds nip in playful jest,
Their icy jabs chill me to the bone;
Missing his love causes such unrest,
..... and never have I felt so alone!

And each night as I lie in my bed,
I caress the rays the moon has thrown
On the pillow that once held his head,
..... and I cry because I'm so alone

I cannot reach nor touch the stars,
Yet I know they dwell high above,
And though you are far from my reach,
Distance cannot weaken this love;
Your touch is not familiar,
When I speak, you do not hear me,
Yet as I wake to greet each dawn
I feel your spirit so near me;
And I swear by all the stars in the sky,
I will love you until the day I die

Though your love is a distant dream,
What joy to my heart it does bring,
This voice, used for cursing anguish,
Had forgotten that it could sing;
Now sweet melodies venture forth
While my heart writes each loving word,
Though such songs have often been sung,
Love has a voice that must be heard;
And so I'll chant as the moon sails the sky:
I will love you until the day I die

Some may think a spell blinded me
To all others so I'd choose you,
I only know I could not live
If ever I were to lose you;
Look! Eden's gates are opening,
Once again, Paradise revealed;
Shall we dare to trespass those grounds?
Soon the gates will close and be sealed;
Yes! Let us enter when God blinks his eye,
And let us love until the day we die!

Who has not pondered their last hour
When Death points to our name on his scroll?
As we slowly wilt like summer's last flower,
What concerns will beleaguer the soul?

Who will be waiting to guide me
Down the hallway, just beyond that door
That allows passage to Eternity?
On gilded wings, will my spirit soar?

What questions will be permitted?
Will my heart discover what it seeks?
Will every fault and error committed
Flash before my eyes like lightning streaks?

Will death be unencumbered sleep,
Final escape from the bonds of Earth?
Or will we recall things that made us weep,
And all the joys that gave life its worth?

Will the flowers of love still bloom?
Though I've never carried the bouquet,
Might I be granted one blossom's perfume,
Or will denial once again hold sway?

Should I be granted one query,
With much angst I must inquire of Death:
This heart that expired alone and weary,
Will it find its peace with my last breath?

But should fragments of life still course
Through this clay, allowing pain to seep,
Then I must implore of the Divine Source:
End this game! grant me eternal sleep

Do you remember when we danced on clouds,
And when pelted with the dust of Mars,
We sought shelter in the Milky Way,
Where you wove me a garland of stars?

Do you remember when we hugged the moon
And its rays of light spilled from our eyes?
We woke curious angels from their sleep,
Watching their shadowy forms arise

Do you remember how you held my hand
When life delivered its harshest blows?
You showed me how to avoid the thorns
While reaching for the loveliest rose

As we floated on rivulets of dreams,
We broke all bonds tying us to Earth;
Finding comfort in each other's arms,
Days of sorrow became days of mirth

Do you remember the day your love died?
You dimmed the light, then dampened the flame;
Fantasies and dreams were laid to rest
In a tear-stained shroud bearing your name

Do you remember how much I loved you?
Now passion's fire is just an ember;
I know the flame can not be relit,
But I wonder ..... do you remember?

The fountain's gone dry, now withered leaves blow
Down the path where we walked side by side;
Faint echoes still murmur in the wind:
"God is Love" ..... but O, how they lied!

Two loving hearts always beating as one,
If separated, would bring great pain;
And heaven cried "Lord, if you take him,
Such love she'll never find again!"

"And who will cherish her as he has done?
Love this faithful is so hard to find";
And heaven cried "Lord, please reconsider
This notion that's clouding your mind!"

But, sadly two hearts were torn asunder,
And heaven cried "Lord, what have you done?
You've torn apart the most loving hearts
That ever beat under Earth's sun!"

But Divine will is not to be challenged
Or questioned, though caring angels tried;
And with heavy hearts, they bowed and said:
"Thy will be done" ..... and heaven cried

As night descends it brings foreboding,
And right on cue, here comes the fear;
What will I do when the clock strikes twelve --
When it's midnight, and he's not here

Night after night, the same scene unfolds,
Misery, why do you loiter near?
The starless ceiling of black and gray
Steadily falls, and he's not here

Not a thousand stars falling to Earth,
Nor the moon whispering in my ear
Could free me of the impending doom
Of the twelfth hour,  if he's not here

What agony! will God hear my prayer,
Or into my heart ****** a spear?
The hour hand of the clock slowly crawls ...
Nearing midnight .... but he's not here

But the fount of mercy doesn't flow,
My bitter cup, devoid of cheer;
As I draw the drapes, here comes the storm,
Midnight arrives, and he's not here

The clock's message echoes through the night,
Trying to provoke one more tear;
The steady ticking tells me that he's
Not here ..... not here ..... not here .....

When I think of days and nights I have spent
Begging unresponsive deities,
I now wonder if that time should have been used
Savoring life's wine, instead of on my knees

So many prayers that rose like curling smoke
From a heap of dried smoldering leaves,
Rising upward, supplicating a response,
Were they lost in some galaxy thick with thieves?

I fear not one reached its destination --
Am I naive in my conclusion
That perhaps my prayers were feckless and garbled,
Or dismissed in a moment of confusion?

No! My prayers were delivered distinctly,
But to each one futile hope was pinned;
Too often these hands folded reverently,
While my supplications were lost to the wind

Now the rivulets are too cold to flow,
And the trees have donned their robes of ice;
No longer will these hands be joined together
Pointing upward, trying to reach Paradise

Such things are not accomplished by begging,
I turn my back and scoff at the rules
Of a game won only by the most cunning,
While faithfully observed by cowards and fools

I will not survey the devastation
Strewn in paths I've so faithfully trod,
Walking on thorns, wondering if I've suffered
Long enough to be found worthy by some god

Misery and woe have trespassed my heart,
So here's a vow I will not rescind:
These hands will now be used to reach out for love,
And not for prayers that will be lost to the wind!

Pondering the gnarled vineyards of twilight,
It is for these grapes that I hunger,
For they have survived the drought and the blight,
Bearing scars of days when they were younger

The fruits of old love are tender and sweet,
For they've learned to endure sun and shade;
Keeping strong through gale force winds, snow and sleet,
Their true value has been measured and weighed

Old love seeks beauty deep within the heart,
The wrinkled face and the graying hair
Matter not, yet what a sting they impart
To the lonely tangled in Time's cruel snare

Observe the pearl fishers - they're not concerned
With the oyster's shell, but with the prize
That's dwelling deep inside, for they have learned
They might find a gem in cunning disguise

Satisfying are the fruits of old love,
So patiently they wait to be claimed
By soft, wizened hands, gentle as a dove,
Yet displaying passion's touch, unashamed

Love that has withstood the test of the years
Is a love that's worth its weight in gold;
In spite of all the sorrows and the tears,
Old love can still bear fruit a hundredfold

How blessed are we who can see love's sweet truth
Unfolding before our very eyes;
We don't need the exuberance of youth
To yield to love's call  under star-filled skies!

Old love has had its feet held to the fire,
And it emerged, still able to stand;
It survived the bogs of life's muck and mire,
What more can be said ..... for sure, old love's grand!

No one lives in this house anymore,
Long vacant, it fell into decay;
Once occupied by two loving hearts,
Now distant,  each gone its own way

Shall I tell you of the blissful nights
And days rich with joyous harmony??
If a tear or two runs down your cheek,
Feel no shame, weep along with me

I scarce can speak of things I have seen
Without tears welling in my eyes,
But was this not easy to predict,
Walking through the ruins of Paradise?

Try to imagine love's warming light
Spilling forth from each window pane;
Never mind the snow upon the sill,
Nor the gales that foretold pounding rain

This house had withstood many a storm,
This fortress with its stanchions of love;
Who knew that Fate would come blast the ledge,
Tumbling  it from its base with one shove!

Come, let's walk the garden one last time,
Does the silence not cause you to grieve?
The birds have left, not a flower blooms . . .
Perhaps it's best that we, too, should leave

I blow the coals, but they will not blaze,
Cold ashes upon a dead hearth lay
(How futile is the battle we wage
Against Fate, for it will have its way)

No one lives in this house anymore,
The window panes are cracked and broken;
The orchard is overrun with rot,
Love's final words have been spoken

My days are tormented by longing,
So many dreams life did not fulfill,
Longing for the love that never came,
(Yet the gallant heart is hopeful still)

I'm longing to foresee the future -
Just how long will my loneliness last?
Old memories offer no comfort,
So I'm longing to forget the past

I'm longing to know if God exists,
In my mind it still remains unclear;
Who shall I praise for nature's beauty,
Witnessing its wrath, whom shall I fear?

Few praise God in all circumstances,
The faithful pay homage without doubt;
But I'm perplexed by the suffering
Born of disease, war, famine and drought

I'm torn between loving and hating
A God who cannot seem to decide
If wrath or mercy is deserving ....
So both arrive, with hope on the side

I'm weary of this life of longing,
I seek my refuge in solitude;
Abandoning unanswered questions,
I ascend to spheres of quietude

But end of day finds my heart longing
That just one of life's schemes be revealed:
Fearing the reply, still it inquires:
Will love be mine? Or has my fate been sealed!

Once again my thoughts walk love's graveyard,
(Why is there no lock on that gate?)
Never have I seen a field so charred
By ashes of love that turned to hate

These remains of love provoke and rile
Stifled sobs as I look around
In silence, not wanting to defile
Sacred memories of this hallowed ground

Pain and pity are shaking my frame
As the tears gather in my throat;
False hope, and then prayer (one and the same)
Rise from my lips to some realm remote

Once again the heart is left weary,
Weak grows the pulse coursing my veins,
Gazing through eyes clouded and teary,
One last time I search through love's remains

But I can find nothing worth saving
Of a love that died long ago;
So why this unrelenting craving,
Why does this stream of memories flow?

It's over, I must put it to rest!
The bloom's faded, the fragrance lost;
Love's phantom now an unwelcome guest -
Worthless as a crucifix uncrossed

See those stars twinkling so high in the skies?
Some are sad stars trying to avert their eyes,
They've observed lovers who have parted ways,
To keep from crying, they must turn their gaze

And those stars displaying faint hues of red .....
Don't know if it's true, but I've heard it said
Love songs and poems tend to make them cry,
And cause these soulful stars to blush and sigh

Now each star's assigned a task to perform,
To create galaxies, many must swarm;
Stars must grant favors when they're wished upon,
Should they fail their tasks, their light soon grows wan

And such stars will be expelled from their berth,
The Lord God sends them careening toward Earth;
It's not clear what offense they've committed,
Perhaps they were lax, or just dimwitted

But how lucky is the star that hovers
And twinkles in the bright eyes of lovers!
Their satisfying task never grows old,
(With stars in our eyes, love never grows cold)

If love has found you, then you have been blessed.
If you're still searching, don't give up the quest;
And when love tears down despair's prison bars,
Don't forget to thank your lucky stars!

What was it that made me so bitter
Toward life and my very existence?
Might it be all those unanswered prayers
And God's unrelenting resistance?

What was it that caused this discontent --
A bountiful harvest, just wasted?
The grove that flowered, then went to seed,
Leaving the fruits of love untasted?

What made me choose to live in darkness
Rather than rekindle the spent flame?
Did I tire of seeing Love's light expire --
Just new photos in the same old frame?

What caused me to flee from Love's garden --
Was it Truth's orchard, beset with rot?
Or was it the daisy petals I plucked
That all ended with "He loves me not?"

What led me to finally realize
Nothing is what it appears to be?
Was it that vow of eternal love
That dissolved like foam upon the sea?

I've since learned to quell my eagerness
When Hope beckons with its radiant light;
I've abandoned foolish hopes and dreams
Knowing now that Fate decides our plight

At daybreak I awoke alone
With a sadness I could not quell,
Without a love to call my own,
And now, morning's waving farewell

No one pitied the tears that flowed,
Not one word cheered my dreary day;
Alone I walked this lonely road,
Watching the noon hours fade away

No one held me close to his heart,
No one looked at me lovingly;
No chance this pain will soon depart
Now that evening has been set free

To my lips no kiss found its way,
Alone I watched the setting sun;
No one said he loved me today,
And now ..... the day is done